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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to take 4 mo baby on glamping hen do?

583 replies

TomBowler · 01/08/2017 23:18

I am MoH and bride asked me before I got pregnant but she knew we were TTC. I have offered to step down.

Baby is EBF. I don't pump and haven't tried a bottle. Not totally against it though.

Would be arriving on campsite Fri afternoon. I would boob DD to sleep about 7ish. Deploy video monitor (our group has excl use of campsite and DD and I have own tent). Return to group for silly games.

Saturday morning breakfast and It's A Knockout. Lunch. Saturday afternoon outdoorsy activity I wouldn't be able to do (pelvic floor, say no more) so will chill at campsite. Sat evening boob DD to sleep and Butler In The Buff coming to serve cocktails and not games.

Sun morning breakfast in farm shop.

OP posts:
dowhatyouwish · 02/08/2017 06:48

Also you say you will have a video monitor but how can you keep your eye on that and whatever activity you are doing at the same time.

londonrach · 02/08/2017 06:53

Seriously. No. its a hen night. Alcohol. Silly games etc. Its about the hen not your baby. Not a place for a baby. Give your apologies unless dh can have baby. Yabu.

Bumdishcloths · 02/08/2017 06:54

Video monitor or not, it is completely unreasonable to leave a 4 month old to sleep on their own in a tent. You cannot be fully alert to their needs - neither can you be completely involved in hen activities. Also tents get very very cold, very very quickly and they're neither secure nor soundproof. Even nice people have their limits and if someone brought a baby to a hen do I'd be aghast.

In your shoes, I wouldn't go - that doesn't mean you need to step down as MoH though.

knaffedoff · 02/08/2017 06:57

I organised a friends birthday weekend many years ago, another friend unexpectedly brought her dd with her for the first 24hrs. As the organiser, everyone had a moan and complained to me and I had an awful time, the weekend was ruined and I am no longer in contact with any of these friends. I would suggest you reconsider c

GahBuggerit · 02/08/2017 06:58

Seriously? No, you can't do this, obviously.

Glumglowworm · 02/08/2017 07:01

YABVU

Have you ever camped before? If not then you won't realise how fast the temperature in a tent can change from one extreme to the other.

Also you're fucking crazy to leave a tiny baby alone in a tent unless you're right outside! Equally fucking crazy to take a baby on a hen do.

Either go for some of the day parts and leave DD at home or don't go. But don't take a 4 month old camping, leave her alone in a tent, at a hen do. No one will thank you for it.

McTufty · 02/08/2017 07:01

OP I think it's nice that you are keen to be there for your friend on her hen do, and don't see having a baby as an excuse to cry off. However I do agree with the others it's a bad idea I'm afraid, for all sorts of reasons. Trying to pop along for some of it without baby is the best way.

2 of my bridesmaids were not on my hen due to childcare. I was gutted, but I understood. Hopefully your friend will too.

Also your friend will not tell you if she minds you bringing your little one. She probably feels that as it involves your baby she can't say anything. This happened at my wedding when my BM wanted her baby getting ready with us on the morning, which changed the dynamic from the girls having champagne and doing hair into everyone baby cuddling and trying not to wake her. I wanted to be nice so I said i didn't mind, but would secretly have preferred baby not be there. And that wasn't even a hen. I would never dream of saying that to her, and not will your friend.

Best bet is to explain you're in difficulty with childcare so will just come evening 1 and drive back (or whatever). See if she offers to have you bring baby, if she doesn't, don't ask.

Good luck!

McTufty · 02/08/2017 07:02

*nor will your friend

BunnyCupBows · 02/08/2017 07:06

Three things you never want to combine - babies, hen do's and tents. Seriously, think about it? If I turned up to this I would get in my car and go home, I just can't think of anything worse for a hen do. I would also seriously judge you for being so oblivious to what is going on. They might miss you to start with, but they will only be missing you and not your baby. After a few drinks and some naughty games you will be forgotten.

putdownyourphone · 02/08/2017 07:11

Please don't.

SavoyCabbage · 02/08/2017 07:13

I'd go for the day parts and get whoever was looking after the baby to bring her so some where close by and feed her there. And go home at night.

Newtothis2017 · 02/08/2017 07:15

You would leave the baby alone in a tent. Yabvu to even consider that

rachrach2 · 02/08/2017 07:16

My sister brought her 4 month old to my hen do, and my friend brought her 3 month old to another one I was on. I took my days old baby to the lunch part of my friend's too, she didn't know I was going (bearing in mind my baby was only 5 days old) so that was a surprise.

In none of these situations the bride minded at all and I never heard any negative remarks at all.

You know your friends best and if you think it will be ok!

Esspee · 02/08/2017 07:16

You intend to leave your baby alone in a tent to have fun at a hen party?
Seriously?

DonaldStott · 02/08/2017 07:18

Yabu for going to a hen do with a 'butler in the buff'

user1497557435 · 02/08/2017 07:18

No way.
No matter how gorgeous baby is, unless it's a hen party where everyone is sitting around knitting & singing Kum-by-ya - totally not.

maras2 · 02/08/2017 07:18

Don't take baby and FFS get rid of 'Butler in the Buff'.Absolutely bogging idea.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 02/08/2017 07:19

Butler in the buff is the equivalent of lap dancing or stripper as far as I'm concerned. Tacky. To be honest.

AccrualIntentions · 02/08/2017 07:21

I wouldn't be at all happy if I was one of the other guests. If it's close to home, maybe just join them for the day or evening then go home. Also camping with a small baby sounds way too stressful...in terms of things like bathroom facilities apart from anything else! So I really don't know why you'd want to put yourself through it.

wonderflonium · 02/08/2017 07:22

4 months is when babies have a sleep regression, isn't it?

gingertigercat · 02/08/2017 07:26

I agree with glitter baby suggestion.

I'm sure it's very possible to pop down on your own for various parts of the hen like she suggested and it sounds a lot more enjoyable for all involved.

KindergartenKop · 02/08/2017 07:26

I'd be annoyed if I went on a hen do and there was a child there, it changes the dynamic.

Peppapogstillonaloop · 02/08/2017 07:32

People are being weirdly angry about this! I know people who have done this it isn't the worst idea in the world but also not ideal. As only 40mins away could you leave baby for a stretch so you can join some of it? Or bring baby in the day and then take home put to bed and try to come back?

SelmaAndJubjub · 02/08/2017 07:32

Jesus no don't take a four month old either camping, or on a hen do, or especially both!!!!

Agree with this - sorry. But could you go just for the Saturday morning? Join in the breakfast and some games if the baby is co-operative, then home?

Peppapogstillonaloop · 02/08/2017 07:32

Oh and I've taken a 4 month old camping it's really not that hard/weird

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