Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to take 4 mo baby on glamping hen do?

583 replies

TomBowler · 01/08/2017 23:18

I am MoH and bride asked me before I got pregnant but she knew we were TTC. I have offered to step down.

Baby is EBF. I don't pump and haven't tried a bottle. Not totally against it though.

Would be arriving on campsite Fri afternoon. I would boob DD to sleep about 7ish. Deploy video monitor (our group has excl use of campsite and DD and I have own tent). Return to group for silly games.

Saturday morning breakfast and It's A Knockout. Lunch. Saturday afternoon outdoorsy activity I wouldn't be able to do (pelvic floor, say no more) so will chill at campsite. Sat evening boob DD to sleep and Butler In The Buff coming to serve cocktails and not games.

Sun morning breakfast in farm shop.

OP posts:
Peppapogstillonaloop · 03/08/2017 22:37

Yes fair enough @littletwofeet wasn't meaning to sound arsey with you!
Wjats the betting this thread ends up in the dm Hmm

littletwofeet · 03/08/2017 23:06

@Peppapogstillonaloop no worries Smile
Haha,you might be right about DM!

user1496587010 · 04/08/2017 00:09

Completely off point but poster 'babbitywabbit' thinks adults should say breastfeed & not boob to sleep. Ha! I know I'm one to talk with no actual user name but the irony amused me! Grin

Sugafreesadness · 04/08/2017 07:34

It's 40 minutes away from home, could you practice with some expressed bottles a bit, see if your mum or partner can manage for blocks of 3-4 hours without you. That way you could attend for the daytime activities, maybe meet them half way in case of emergency feed needed, and then get the evening antics started and then go home.

That way you get to support your friend and be involved. Your baby and family have the back up that you're available as needed. You miss out on the night times but realistically you would only be missing being vaguely sober in a drunken setting trying to listen to a baby monitor whilst everyone else is having fun.

This is how I managed very similar situation. It doesn't feel great for you but keeps everyone else happy and shows you're trying to be supportive MoH. Good luck xxx

Claire1200 · 04/08/2017 07:53

Personally, I think leaving the baby in a tent on it's own is the more important consideration than worrying about spoiling the mood of the event. It's really not okay to leave a baby in a tent with a baby monitor. This is neglectful and all sorts of awful things could happen and you may not be close enough to get back to deal with it. Also, are you really going to be glued close enough to the monitor to even notice? If you're not willing to express milk and leave the baby with your partner, you need to put your baby first instead of going to your friends hen do. If your bride is a good friend, she will understand if you can't be there.

LittleLionMansMummy · 04/08/2017 08:02

You're MoH. Surely the bride to be would want you there and if it's a case of either take the baby or not go, she'd be ok with the baby being there? Sorry haven't rtft (I know, I know!)

However. 4 months is sleep regression territory. It wouldn't have been much fun for me when mine were going through that. You say that baby naps well. Newborns tens to. It's when they get a little older and more aware that the fun starts.

And no to leaving the baby in a tent with a monitor. Put it in a sling or stay in the tent with it.

Ragwort · 04/08/2017 08:07

Are people really so arrogant that they think their friendship is so important that the bride/host will be really upset if they politely decline the invitation? Confused. I have a wide circle of friends but if I was having a celebration I would perfectly well understand if people couldn't make it - whatever their reason.

As has been said a million times on Mumsnet, 'it's an invitation not a summons'.

Lovelymess · 04/08/2017 09:29

I honestly don't see the big deal, you don't sound unreasonable at all and you sound like you have it pretty well planed out x

luckylorca · 04/08/2017 10:59

Er.... is this even a serious question?

The others will want to get pissed and party loudly. They will either wake the baby, be so loud you can't hear the baby monitor, or be quiet just because your baby's there and therefore have a rubbish time. Then there's sleeping. Do you think it's fair for your baby to scream and keep the whole group awake all night?! There's also the safety aspect. Pissed people and little babies don't mix!

Don't be selfish (to your baby and the hen do attendees)! Either don't go or just go for part of it ie a day/evening while you leave the baby with a babysitter.

Springprim · 04/08/2017 12:21

Why are people so precious about hen do's? If the bride doesn't mind then take baby along. If she does, say sorry but you can't go. Simple.

Soodledoo · 04/08/2017 12:40

I wouldn't take baby. Getting baby on bottles and leaving at home with someone would be much better for the both of you. You will be able to relax and let loose with the others and and baby would be safe at home. I would also take a breast pump with you to express as engorged boobs are very uncomfortable.
In the end though it is entirely up to you what you do, this is just what I would do in your situation.

Mittens1969 · 04/08/2017 12:45

I don't think it's a good idea at all, but I don't know the bride, so it's easy for me to say that. I think op is feeling very bad that she has to bail out on the hen night as MoH, this will tell her that it would be far too U to go.

There's no need to be nasty though, I don't think the op wants to do it this way! She's just the bride's bestie and is afraid of letting her down. AIBU certainly brings out the worst in everyone!

GabsAlot · 04/08/2017 18:32

if the bride doesnt know as its a suprise how can she mak th judgement that its ok to bring a baby

sorrry if ive missed a post

Hudson10 · 04/08/2017 18:39

Wjats the betting this thread ends up in the dm

It already has.

RoboticSealpup · 04/08/2017 18:51

YABVU How are you going to create a safe sleeping environment for your baby in a tent?? It's pretty cold outside for a start... And how are you going to do "it's a knockout" with your DD? Are you going to ask others to hold her whenever it's your turn? As for bringing a baby to see what is essentially a male stripper, that's a bit yucky.

JustHereForThePooStories · 04/08/2017 18:54

Utterly grim.

Imagine a man saying he'd take his baby to a stag party and pop her into a tent before the stripped arrived!

Babbitywabbit · 04/08/2017 18:56

Oh you don't understand the difference between choosing a user name and normal conversation in real life user149blahblahblah...? Okaaaaay.

Babbitywabbit · 04/08/2017 18:58

Justhereforthepoostories - totally with you there. If a bloke suggested it they'd be unanimously slated! Seems some people think it's fine when it's the mum and she needs to 'boob' her child Grin

Annabelle4 · 04/08/2017 19:00

This is going to sound harsh, but if I was on that hen weekend and knew that a baby was left alone in a tent, I would consider it negligence, monitor or not.

MissCommunication · 04/08/2017 19:19

I just would never ever do this. Baby is so tiny.

user1497557435 · 05/08/2017 09:53

What has OP decided?

user1497557435 · 05/08/2017 09:54

What has OP decided?

craftsy · 05/08/2017 10:27

My first reaction was, like most other posters, to say don't do it. Then I thought about each of my friend groups and I can say hand on heart that each one of them would be far, far, far happier to have a good friend plus baby in attendance than for the friend to miss it. None of my friends would put pressure on a mum to come with her baby, but we'd all understand that she couldn't leave an exclusively breastfed baby for a weekend as she'd almost certainly end up with a severe mastitis infection if she tried. And we'd prefer her to come, even if it changed the dynamic because she's our friend and we love each other and would rather be together than not.

craftsy · 05/08/2017 10:30

That said, keep the baby in a sling or a carrycot during the evening gatherings as alone in a tent would be negligent. And don't drink at all. The baby could be unsettled and you could well need to co-sleep, so you will need to be 100% sober if that is necessary.

waitforitfdear · 05/08/2017 10:42

Is the op ever coming back?

Swipe left for the next trending thread