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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to take 4 mo baby on glamping hen do?

583 replies

TomBowler · 01/08/2017 23:18

I am MoH and bride asked me before I got pregnant but she knew we were TTC. I have offered to step down.

Baby is EBF. I don't pump and haven't tried a bottle. Not totally against it though.

Would be arriving on campsite Fri afternoon. I would boob DD to sleep about 7ish. Deploy video monitor (our group has excl use of campsite and DD and I have own tent). Return to group for silly games.

Saturday morning breakfast and It's A Knockout. Lunch. Saturday afternoon outdoorsy activity I wouldn't be able to do (pelvic floor, say no more) so will chill at campsite. Sat evening boob DD to sleep and Butler In The Buff coming to serve cocktails and not games.

Sun morning breakfast in farm shop.

OP posts:
Crispmonster1 · 03/08/2017 20:09

It's probably do able but prob not fair on the guests, bride, you or the baby really. Why don't you just go for one of the days and leave them to it. It would change the atmosphere and people will judge you. I personally would not have allowed it or done it as a bride or a mother. Sorry. X

Dianag111 · 03/08/2017 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sadmum987 · 03/08/2017 20:19

Am I right in reading that you will leave baby alone in a tent in the evenings with a monitor?!
This is the bit I would say absolutely not to and am surprised no one else has commented on that bit over the fact the other hens may not like it?

Firenight · 03/08/2017 20:21

No way would I leave a 4 month old alone in a tent. For that YABU.

Sleeping on you in a sling fair enough.

McTufty · 03/08/2017 20:23

sadmum

Literally loads of people have said that

Mammyashy1 · 03/08/2017 20:24

I have a 4 month old ebf and went on a hen weekend 2 weeks ago. Pump and leave the baby at home. Yes taking the baby may be easy but have some you time and let your hair down. Make sure you pump regularly and be warned your boobs will wake you in the morning x

AprilShowers16 · 03/08/2017 20:30

I think it really depends on your friend and your baby. I took my baby to a 30th weekend away of a very close friend because I was was confident that the birthday girl genuinely wanted us to be there and knew my baby was super chilled d we would have our own room.

LilaoftheGreenwood · 03/08/2017 20:36

Ragwort you could be right and others were quietly seething and I never got to hear about it, but it honestly just didn't feel like an issue. Actually I'd never met the mother before and didn't know a baby was going to be there, so if anything it should have been me seething!

It's more the safety concerns that would bother me about this.

LilaoftheGreenwood · 03/08/2017 20:38

Yes sorry just realised I didn't make it clear it wasn't my baby!

Loopytiles · 03/08/2017 20:38

Of course the guests were breezy on the surface and quietly seething, most people don't want babies at these kind of events and most don't want to be seen as someone who is mean about babies/new mothers.

LilaoftheGreenwood · 03/08/2017 20:42

The baffling almost religious certainty of people on this thread. Oh well OP, if you're still brave enough to be reading there's my two pennies.

Geordie1944 · 03/08/2017 20:45

Are you mad or what? Two things about camping in the UK - rain, wind, wind, rain. Taking a sixteen week old baby camping is the height of irresponsibility IMFFHO.

Peppapogstillonaloop · 03/08/2017 20:59

@littlebigfeet all of my kids have stayed sleeping in the early evening at around 12 weeks so I would put them to bed then, upstairs in my room, with monitor and go up at bedtime. They are all fine. Most people I know have done the same? I really don't get the tent angst.

Sadmum987 · 03/08/2017 21:05

Yeah, sorry! Newish to this forum and only read the first page!!!
Duh!

RatRolyPoly · 03/08/2017 21:08

Geordie did you miss the bit about it being a luxury yurt with heating?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/08/2017 21:11

Nah just bail it's will be 100000% stress don't do it to yourself xx

Sashkin · 03/08/2017 21:48

I don't know if the posters giving advice re: expressing have ever tried going from ebf to 100% expressing for a whole weekend, but I wouldn't be so certain you'll be able to do it.

I can only express an extra 200mls per day on top of DS's BF requirements, and that is after months of practice (I was only expressing an extra 50mls per day to start with). He drinks about 1200mls per day.

Expressing is not as effective as BFing at emptying your breasts - if I can't feed DS, I need to pump every couple of hours to relieve the engorgement.

DS can drink from a bottle perfectly well when he wants to, but after a certain length of time he wants me back and starts refusing the bottle.

The longest I've managed away from him is six hours, and he was in absolute meltdown when I came back, purple and screaming and pushing DH and the bottle away. Last week I had to leave my gym class early because he was pitching a fit and refusing the bottle - I'd fed him myself two hours previously, and I go to this class every week (usually without incident, he was just in a weird mood this week).

It's so unpredictable. People saying you should just hire a pump and leave DH to it are being a bit unrealistic. You can try it, but expect to be called back.

eulmh · 03/08/2017 21:52

Personally I wouldn't have minded. Baby is not my responsibility. Same as with weddings that ban kids. I totally get it and I never take my kids ( one is autistic and would find it difficult for a start) but we didn't ban them from our wedding purely because my mindset is it's not me looking after them, I don't think it will go as smoothly as you imagine because babies know when you are trying to have a social life but it wouldn't have bothered me :) x

KimchiLaLa · 03/08/2017 22:03

No. It's not fair on the others. What if baby starts crying at breakfast? Or doesn't sleep?

Mummy2jen · 03/08/2017 22:07

Can anyone else e.g. Your mum come with you and stay with baby as you do your moh duties

Floggingmolly · 03/08/2017 22:11

Her mum isn't invited. Neither is the baby.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 03/08/2017 22:17

Not fair on the baby (and leaving her alone in the tent with a monitor to play games? Shock ), not fair on the others who are there, probably exhausting for you. Would you be countenancing this if it weren't wedding-related?

pictish · 03/08/2017 22:24

Who takes their mum and a baby along on a hen do, I ask you!

littletwofeet · 03/08/2017 22:28

@Peppapogstillonaloop I was just answering your question as to why people may be saying not to leave a 4 month old in a tent with a monitor.

Look up SIDS guidelines for babies sleeping alone, it's not recommended for babies under 6 months. Babies are at highest risk of SIDS between 8 - 16 weeks.

Obviously most babies who are left sleeping alone will be fine as SIDS is thankfully rare, and it's up to each individual whether they choose to follow the guidelines but the safest thing for babies is not to leave them sleeping alone.

So I don't think it's angst at a tent as such, rather that a lot of people wouldn't leave a 4 month old asleep alone with a baby monitor.

Scrumpernickel · 03/08/2017 22:29

Who takes their mum and a baby along on a hen do, I ask you!

I know. Why not go the whole hog and invite your parish priest and husband too.

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