Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 14 15 16 ··· 23 24

Original poster

...to take 4 mo baby on glamping hen do?

583 replies

TomBowler · 01/08/2017 23:18

I am MoH and bride asked me before I got pregnant but she knew we were TTC. I have offered to step down.

Baby is EBF. I don't pump and haven't tried a bottle. Not totally against it though.

Would be arriving on campsite Fri afternoon. I would boob DD to sleep about 7ish. Deploy video monitor (our group has excl use of campsite and DD and I have own tent). Return to group for silly games.

Saturday morning breakfast and It's A Knockout. Lunch. Saturday afternoon outdoorsy activity I wouldn't be able to do (pelvic floor, say no more) so will chill at campsite. Sat evening boob DD to sleep and Butler In The Buff coming to serve cocktails and not games.

Sun morning breakfast in farm shop.

OP posts:

GreenCarnation · 02/08/2017 14:10

I guess people didn't have lengthy dos back in the day...and they possibly weren't as 'wild' as people expect them to be now? Possibly brides were less precious about them too?!

Yup. All those things. It didn't take much organising either. Arrange a time and place to meet (city centre, obvs). Book a table at a local restaurant (optional) Bring enough cash to get you through the evening. And off you go. No stress, no trying to out-hen anybody else,
no feelings of inadequacy. And DEFINITELY no butler in the buff.
Simples and comparatively cheap.

Maddy70 · 02/08/2017 14:13

Honestly if you took the baby it would change the dynamic of the hen do and I don't think that's very fair. Sorry :(

greendale17 · 02/08/2017 14:22

Is this for real?

AntiHop · 02/08/2017 14:24

I actually don't see the problem with bringing an ebf baby under those circumstances.

wannabestressfree · 02/08/2017 14:28

I would chat to the bride to get the gist from her. She is your friend and you know her best. As she is not your pfb I would try and express and pop back to feed.

I find it more worrying that lots of people cannot imagine a hen without a truck load of booze. I am teetotal and still manage to have fun!

Hudson10 · 02/08/2017 14:32

I find it more worrying that lots of people cannot imagine a hen without a truck load of booze

I find it more worrying that some are failing to see that a butler in the buff serving cocktails is hardly the same environment as a civilised afternoon tea at the Ritz.
If you've organised that, you're hardly wanting a baby friendly event.
The guests with children won't be expecting babies and children either, as it's an adult type event they've no doubt got childcare for their own children for and are looking forward to a rare childfree night.
Not a good environment for the baby either.
It's selfish on every level.

Rosti1981 · 02/08/2017 14:35

Sounds like the kind of hen do where it would be a no I'm afraid. I had a "hen do" afternoon tea with male friends there as well as female, and babies, but that was because it was more important for me to have good friends there (including men) than a girly butler in buff cocktail necking willy straw type occasion (no judgement btw, have been to that kind of hen do as well, and enjoyed it, but it wasn't for me for my own pre wedding bash!). I also had cocktails with friends without babies in the eve.

I've also had my own 4 month old baby at a hen do, for a bit, but again it was a friend who said it was fine and I had the baby in the hair activity bit and a craft activity and passed her to DH for a bit in the middle....

Could you just go for a bit? I know EBF makes it hard and if friend is happy in theory having a baby there then I would try to go for a bit and maybe get someone to look after baby for a bit nearby, and not stay for the whole weekend. It sounds a bit much attempting camping or even glamping with a baby with you the whole time. Sorry, I do get it's difficult but those activities don't sound child/baby friendly.

waitforitfdear · 02/08/2017 14:36

Green

Couldn't agree more. Dh and I got married in 1988 and we had a pub meet up together with close mates and left at 11.

The fuss and palava now is insane and I would have gladly used a 4 month old baby as an excuse to avoid camping and naked butlers.

Taniamiff · 02/08/2017 14:39

It's a no from me - sorry

KERALA1 · 02/08/2017 14:47

We always get the "in my day we sat under the bed and ate left over chips" brigade.

Theres nothing wrong with having a hen weekend away or organising a fun weekend for your friends. If an invitee things its too expensive or doesn't fancy it just gracefully refuse. And I speak as someone ahem older who just had a good night out as my hen thing but would love the excuse of a weekend away like the one the OP describes (barring the butlers agree thats abit cringe). Oh and no baby obviously.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 02/08/2017 14:47

It's annoying an ebf baby means you need to miss out on some things op. I've had two myself, missed weddings and all sorts but its only a short time in your life.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 02/08/2017 14:55

Just don't.

Totally changes the dynamic. Your little darling would be a total distraction. Not fair on the bride or hens.

They have all excitedly planned this weekend and intend to let their hair down, then you rock up with a kid.

waitforitfdear · 02/08/2017 14:58

Kerala

Totally yes am an old fart but chips in the park sounds good to me. Not leftovers though.

GoneGirl · 02/08/2017 15:08

God know. I hate it when friends turn up with kids to adult only events.

Just express and then leave baby with Dad or other trusted adult.

And 'boob baby to sleep' is awful turn of phrase. 'Breastfeed' is just fine.

GoneGirl · 02/08/2017 15:09

God no

Lweji · 02/08/2017 15:15

Poor "Butler in the buff" on a campsite; won't he get cold??

Definitely the most pertinent question.

(not being sarcastic)

squoosh · 02/08/2017 15:19

They wear a little apron over their unmentionables so it's only 95% of their body that will be exposed to the elements.

GreenCarnation · 02/08/2017 15:21

Poor "Butler in the buff" on a campsite; won't he get cold??

I think that might be the least of his worries.

waitforitfdear · 02/08/2017 15:22

They wouldn't need much on their inmentionables here today it's bloody freezing

BabyHen · 02/08/2017 15:24

I'm going to go against the majority here.

Recently attended my DSis1 Hen with 2nd child, 3mo ebf. I was pregnant when hen was booked and I explained that I would totally understand if she didn't want baby there, but that it would mean I wouldn't be able to attend - but she insisted of course we were both welcome (it helps she ebf her child so knew the score).

Fri eve; baby asleep in car seat at edge of restaurant.
Sat; I was around with him all day, he napped as required. If he cried at all (rare) I took him far away to deal with it. Eve he slept whilst we played games etc. We shared a room with my Mum at night.

Everyone knew the score before the Hen, no one was anything other than wonderfully understanding - it's what the bride wanted.

I suppose it helped it was my family, and my DM, DSis2, DAunt, DCousin were there to help entertain baby. He, and I had a blast - and there's even a snap of him with the ladies in the hot tub

In short, totally depends what the bride wants, IMO.

RatRolyPoly · 02/08/2017 15:29

I went to a hen party with a butler in the buff once. Then he became a stripper. The poor bride was mortified at his insistence she rub baby oil on his chest that she came to me in tears and begged me to take his place - BEGGED ME to slather him in baby oil. She was so grateful afterwards she bought me gallons tequila the whole rest of the evening - took one for the team didn't I.

Terrible it was. ...terrible...

Wouldn't have noticed a baby.

BabyHen · 02/08/2017 15:41

RatRolyPoly ** just spat my tea!

Notevilstepmother · 02/08/2017 15:42

I think it depends on the bride and the friends. Camping is hardly going out clubbing.

I would be fine with it if I was the bride. Little babies are more portable and much less hassle than toddlers.

I'd probably be a bit worried about the video monitor and might suggest asking the campsite if they could arrange a babysitter to sit in your tent but maybe I'm too much of a worrrier.

As for not taking babies camping, it's fine as long as they are warm and safe.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 02/08/2017 15:56

Wouldn't have noticed a baby

Heratnumber7 · 02/08/2017 16:02

What power supply will you use for the video monitor OP?

I'm a pretty relaxed parent, but I wouldn't leave a 4mth old in a tent with a monitor while I got tiddly/blind drunk with my mates.

Flip

1 2 ··· 14 15 16 ··· 23 24

Swipe left for the next trending thread