Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to take 4 mo baby on glamping hen do?

583 replies

TomBowler · 01/08/2017 23:18

I am MoH and bride asked me before I got pregnant but she knew we were TTC. I have offered to step down.

Baby is EBF. I don't pump and haven't tried a bottle. Not totally against it though.

Would be arriving on campsite Fri afternoon. I would boob DD to sleep about 7ish. Deploy video monitor (our group has excl use of campsite and DD and I have own tent). Return to group for silly games.

Saturday morning breakfast and It's A Knockout. Lunch. Saturday afternoon outdoorsy activity I wouldn't be able to do (pelvic floor, say no more) so will chill at campsite. Sat evening boob DD to sleep and Butler In The Buff coming to serve cocktails and not games.

Sun morning breakfast in farm shop.

OP posts:
LouBlue1507 · 02/08/2017 10:24

YABU and I also believe that it isn't just up to the bride either, but all the other women attending the hen do.

The hen do doesn't sound cheap, I'm assuming that each person has paid an amount of money towards the do. I wouldn't be happy if I'd paid £xx to enjoy myself with friends only for one to turn up with a baby. It completely changes the dynamics and puts a dampener on things!

Liadain · 02/08/2017 10:28

No feckin way. A screaming baby does not add to a hen party - and I'm sure it's a lovely baby, but all babies cry. It'd be inconsiderate of the other people at the hen.

RatRolyPoly · 02/08/2017 10:38

I can't believe how many people would be pissed off if they turned up to a hen-do and there was a baby there Confused To me that's waaaay more crazy than taking a baby to a hen-do! But that's just me.

rwalker · 02/08/2017 10:44

yabu don't bother asking other people in the party. Chances are they won't want this but to polite to say no, not fair to put them in that position

dustarr73 · 02/08/2017 10:59

Hen dos are adult affair.Drinking, naked butlers and God knows what else.Its not appropriate. If it was afternoon tea or something " tame" maybe.

But there's nothing worse than getting rid of your kids and someone brings theirs.

catsarenice · 02/08/2017 11:19

I don't really see it as a problem - the only person who will be unable to join in with everything is the op. I could understand if it was an older child where the other hens would have to be mindful of their language and behaviour but they won't with a 4 month old baby. No harm in going along and if it all goes horribly you could go home as it's not far and pop back on your own for breakfast/lunch as suggested by pp. probably quite fun being the only sober one on a hen!!!

WarwickDavisAsPlates · 02/08/2017 11:22

One of my best friends couldn't come to my hen do for child related reasons. Not to be harsh but it really didn't affect the event much, I certainly didn't think she was a bad bridesmaid or friend I just thought "oh it'd be nice if she could have come but fair enough"

If she'd have rocked up with a baby in tow that would have been waaay more of an issue than her just not coming.

As others have said it's not just the change in dynamic but the safety issues as well. I don't think you'll enjoy it if you've got your baby there either.

I'd advise not going for the entire do but dipping in and out of the activities/ meals while the baby stays at home for a few hours.

34AQuid · 02/08/2017 11:26

Its a terrible idea, OP, on every level.

Killjoy for the other adults.
Stressful for you.
Not fun for your baby.
Video monitor thing sounds dodgy.
Butlers and cocktails with a baby sleeping a foot away = ridiculous.

Come on. Be real!

sourpatchkid · 02/08/2017 11:28

Aren't you glad you asked OP Grin

I wonder how many more posts you'll get being offended by the very commonly used, I learnt it on MN term boob to sleep 😃

I can see you were just trying to do your best. I wouldn't go and if you want to (and only if you want to, I think hen do have got ridiculous) offer to take her on a separate one just you and her (if baby will allow) such as an hours spa or afternoon tea or dinner.

IllBeAtTheSpa · 02/08/2017 11:30

Op I think it's a bad idea!!
If someone told me they were bringing theor dc to a hen do that i was looking forward to (no responsibility freedommm!)I'd groan and think wtf
Regardless if it's my baby or someone else's having a baby there makes a lot of women behave differently. Be on guard watching out for baby limit drinking etc and you just can't let loose.
I wouldn't hesitate in telling a friend that a baby is the last thing I want to see on a hen do. Sorry

badg3r · 02/08/2017 11:32

Jeez... some of the replies Shock
YANBU to want to go if bride says it's ok and you have a close relationship with most of the other attendees too. I wouldn't leave the baby in the tent by themselves though. If not too rowdy could you keep baby on you (asleep) in the sling till you go to bed? I did similar with my DC1 at a wedding and they were fine. Or alternatively what about doing the day bits and leaving at bed time, since you live quite close anyway? TBH I wouldn't bother planning it rigidly at all, as long as others don't mind there is no reason why you can't just go with the intention of doing X or Y and seeing how you feel.

wheelsortyres · 02/08/2017 11:35

Ragdoll - Hmmsome people can't express, some people don't want their baby to have a bottle, some people don't want to leave a baby that young for anything length of time.

Having said that op, don't go. I missed a load of stuff because ds was ebf. It sucked but thems the apples.

squoosh · 02/08/2017 11:37

'there's a woman at baby group who when talking about feeding her baby says she 'tits him off'

Grin Grin

Eeeek, that sounds many shades of wrong.

MrsMcW · 02/08/2017 11:45

I went on a hen last year where the MoH was in exactly this predicament. In theory it worked... she didn't stay overnight with the rest of us, just turned up for the daytime activities with 6 month old baby in tow. The baby was really good, no screaming etc, but the bride was a bit miffed afterwards as it changed the dynamic and all the girls were cooing over the baby rather than focusing on the bride-to-be! I wouldn't go if it were me.

Floggingmolly · 02/08/2017 11:48

To be fair, Wheels, people are only suggesting alternative methods of feeding because op is determined to bring the baby to a hen do...
It's not the anti bf squad.

HookandSwan · 02/08/2017 11:51

I think your bride might say yes as not to offend you but really may not be thrilled. I mean it's her special time and I feel that it might end up being about you And your baby without meaning to.

LagunaBubbles · 02/08/2017 11:54

No wonder bf rates in the uk are so low when women are told to stay home and not let their tiny baby annoy anyone

Well done for trying to turn into into a bun fight about breastfeeding. Replies would be exactly the same if the baby was bottle fed. Its about a baby at a hen do, not how its is fed.

AsleepAtMyDesk · 02/08/2017 11:58

I think OP was was expecting a mother's forum to respond with 'Of course OP- babies are everybody's favourite at a Hen do!'
GrinGrinGrinGrin

SweetLuck · 02/08/2017 12:00

Will you be sharing a tent?

Hudson10 · 02/08/2017 12:03

Pleased it's not just me and mine who'd be totally cool with it; not pretending to be cool, not too polite to not be cool, but actually really cool with it!

How can you begin to be OK with a baby being left alone in a tent so you can go out and enjoy naked butler in the buff type drinking games?
Not to mention everyone else at the hen do will be acutely aware there's a baby been left and so won't be able to relax like they could do child free.
Nothing about this whole scenario is in the baby's best interests.
Not everything is suitable for children, and this definitely sounds like it isn't.

Hudson10 · 02/08/2017 12:04

Well done for trying to turn into into a bun fight about breastfeeding. Replies would be exactly the same if the baby was bottle fed. Its about a baby at a hen do, not how its is fed.

Exactly, way to spectacularly miss the point! Nothing to do with the method of feeding. Everything to do with bringing a baby to what sounds like a totally unsuitable environment.

Whyamiwatchingthis · 02/08/2017 12:09

My baby is 9m and ebf. I'm due to go on a hen do next month. I would in no way entertain any idea if taking my daughter. My husband has had to suck it up and be left alone with a bottle of breast milk for the evening and days. She screams. He stresses out. She goes to sleep. Jobs a goodun. Next to tackle night time feeds. But YABU to think you can take a baby Blush soz

jellypi3 · 02/08/2017 12:14

My baby ended up coming along to my hen do with me. She wouldn't take a bottle and was having a total melt down at home so ended up joining us at a cocktail making session.

But I would never take a baby to a hen do, if you can't find alternative care then don't go

Kaykee · 02/08/2017 12:17

Sounds like hell, you either go alone/it's 40 mins drive so close if you're needed at home or you don't go at all.
Can't you try baby with a bottle of ebm see how you get on or if you're not into the bottle (ebf myself as hated expressing) so I didn't go far baby free or to nights out till he stopped feeding which at the time perhaps felt rubbish but now it's nothing I've made up for it since.
I think it'd be really nice for you to go, but not with your little one. Hope you find a solution op

Tangofandango · 02/08/2017 12:19

I've been to two glamping hen parties. The "partying" on both occasions was sitting round the camp fire telling stories, and a couple of glasses of wine. The tents were about 10 yards away, so putting baby to bed in a tent and going out "partying" around the campfire would be no different to putting baby in its cot upstairs then going downstairs to chat to friends at home.

However, where we were there was no signal for phones or anything else, so a video monitor wouldn't work anyway.

Also OP, you would find it difficult to join in the activities. You couldn't go foraging, or building shelters, or tramping through the woods, or the other bushcraft stuff that usually goes on when Glamping.

Swipe left for the next trending thread