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To want to tell others to do their research before judging!

391 replies

Mumzzy88 · 31/07/2017 10:51

I get stopped every day by other dog walkers.i get rude comments about my parenting because of my choice. I get shocked faces and utter disbelief when asked do I have a pet!
I have a pit bull!
He was not my choice of breed and I didn't even want a bloody dog!
But.... a family member was treating him very badly he was under weight riddled in fleas being hit and attacked by other dogs in the house being given just left over food from whatever takeaway they had that night I observed this for a few months until I was invited to a barbecue five years ago in 30degree heatwave I could hear this dog crying in a room upstairs. I went up to see the dog who was in a boiling room with NO water!
I lost it! And took the dog home that moment to mine !
Iv now had him 6 years he's now a confident gorgeous family pet and we all adore him and he's amazing with my children he sleeps with my 10 year old every night as he hates being alone (naughty I know) and even lives peacefully with two cats!
He's not got a aggressive bone in his stocky body Smile
But nearly every day people stop me and demand I put THAT dog on a lead ( in a huge field) or how could you own such a monster!. Or omg how could you allow such a dog around your children!
I'm so sick of this it makes me so upset Because he's so lovely he's and been given a second chance to be a happy pouch.
I feel like I have to explain his story constantly AIBU to think that people should just mind their own bloody business or do some research on the breed!

OP posts:
JenniferYellowHat1980 · 31/07/2017 21:30

We grew up with a Staffie. He was lovely - until he wasn't. You never know what a bull terrier is capable of (or any breed for that matter).

TakesTheCake · 31/07/2017 21:31

What happened, Jennifer?

zeezeek · 31/07/2017 21:32

Just laugh at the people who ask if he's a fighting dog and walk on by. Or if your friend lives nearby why don't you arrange for him to go,with you for so,e walks.

But for now, maybe it is time to hide the thread again?

And there have been some personal comments and judging the OPs parenting. None if us like that (or AIBU wouldn't exist).

Most dog related threads in AIBU will go this way. Maybe you should repost in the dog house if you want some less emotional responses

hannah1992 · 31/07/2017 21:36

I haven't read all the replies but just thought I would say I would not be "shocked" "terrified" or anything else if I saw you with your dog. I love dogs we had a German Shepard growing up and I had a Great Dane until last year. I prefer large breeds and muscular dogs. Firstly because I would trip up numberous times a day over a small dog, they get on my nerves tapping the whole time and you get better cuddles off a big beauty! It has nothing to do with looking tough. Pit bulls will always have a bad rep because they are a banned breed. That was because they were being bread for fighting. Which is disgusting. Also a lot of what you here in the media about kids getting bitten. Imagine having a dog for say 2 or 3 years it has all your time love and attention and then bam baby comes along and takes all that away the dog is forgotten about, kept away from baby etc. Jealousy is a big thing in a dogs temprement. Also a lot of children unknowingly hurt dogs, pulling tails fur ears a dogs automatic reaction is to bite the same as any other animal. Yes sometimes the dogs just turn but it's usually down to the owner and with enough work and love ANY breed of dog can be well trained and well behaved

HooplaLoopla1 · 31/07/2017 21:37

I don't think anyone is trying to tell you not to love your dog and you clearly do. Tbh though, I've been a dog owner of various breeds and I've never encountered such negativity like you're claiming you do every day. I think you need to be honest with yourself as to why you and your dog are getting such negative comments daily.

Theponylady · 31/07/2017 21:39

I have german shepherds and children so I know about feeling judged however I never let my dogs approach people and always have them on lead so there's no way anyone can accuse them of anything.
I also don't leave them alone with my children and wouldn't leave them in the bedroom with him regardless of how nice they are.
Other than that I haven't really had any nasty comments other than the 'you have your hands full there' type!

I must admit though I am scared of bull breeds mainly as most of them are dog aggressive and one grabbed my dog and tore chunks from him. Not surprising really considering they are mostly bred to be that way. I would always put my dogs on lead and move away if I could just because of the damage they can inflict should they decide to be aggressive. I'm sure some of them are nice but I have found that to be the exception rather than the rule for some reason.

mumzilla88 · 31/07/2017 21:39

Tried making doggy mates for him but no one wants to know sadly there is another pit bull in the area but she's a little fierce lol and he cowards around me when she's there but don't see them often but I know they get the same problem but seems to be less as she's a gorgeous looking bitch and is female where mine as a big ding dong hanging down lol

mumzilla88 · 31/07/2017 21:41

Oh believe me I get it daily ! Even from the same passing people I see often

Winotimo · 31/07/2017 21:42

I owned and bred labs for a while then had a gorgeous little rescued staffy I always said I would never ever leave my child alone no matter how nice etc etc then after being dog free for 3 years and youngest son aged 6 months we got a French bulldog puppy. She and my eldest son (6yo) are inseparable and ( I am sometimes embarrassed to admit) sleep together in his bed (small double) she snores louder than him and when he's at his dads every other weekend she cries and looks for him. My youngest DS (now 3) winds her up, sits on her, pulls her ears she will always roll over and play back. Never shown any sort of aggression and I would never doubt her for a second, absolutely lovely albeit loud and smelly breed.

To want to tell others to do their research before judging!
HooplaLoopla1 · 31/07/2017 21:42

Have you tried talking to them? About your dog or just generally?

GreenCarnation · 31/07/2017 21:43

I think you need to be honest with yourself as to why you and your dog are getting such negative comments daily

If I came across an off-leash pitbull I'd be too busy disappearing over the horizon to remonstrate with the owner. I certainly wouldn't be interacting in any way.

These negative commenters must be not very afraid of dogs.

Winotimo · 31/07/2017 21:47

I feel like I missed my point, I am enjoying a few glasses of wine. I hate Mondays.
Anywaaaay... my point is a lot of us think a certain way about breeds or pets in general until we have one who proves us wrong.
I do agree small dogs can be more vicious than a lot of the "dangerous" breeds the huge difference is if a jack Russell clamps down on you, you can easily defend yourself whereas with a strong jawed dog we cannot - hence more serious injuries reported. I do hope your dog will always remain loving to you and your family but don't expect people to change their minds and always be aware.

mummymummums · 31/07/2017 21:52

I love these dogs but I would not let one sleep with my child following our experience.
We had a gorgeous Staffy - daft as a brush, raised with cats, super affectionate and clueless if another dog got aggressive. He even saved my mum once when she was attacked by a loose horse (yes really!) by circling the horse until my mum got away then collapsing himself with exhaustion. A loyal little dog.
Until he was almost 10 years old. He suddenly turned - he went to attack someone who knocked at our door as my mum opened it. My parents were astonished and thought maybe the dog sensed something, but 2 hours later he went snarling for my Dad when my Dad woke him up from a sleep. They had him euthanised within the hour.
The vet muzzled him and felt sure that he had a brain tumour but we'll never know.
The point is that if you have a chihuahua and children it probably won't cause life changing injuries or death if it turns. With a dog like this comes serious power and responsibility.
Please don't think your dog will never turn. Ours did.

mummymummums · 31/07/2017 21:52

It's a lovely thing you've done btw, but sleeping with a child. No.

mumzilla88 · 31/07/2017 22:05

Iv tried talking but to no avail
They have their opinions it's hard to change someone's thinking when all there hear is bad news about them I only answer questions which are often offensive or stupid

angieloumc · 31/07/2017 22:28

I really find it quite difficult to believe you get negativity and 'hatred' every day. Where do you live that there are two banned breeds in close proximity? I must admit where I live I don't think I've ever seen a banned dog (or at least one that looks like one).

Loopsdefruits · 31/07/2017 22:44

mummy your family didn't even try to figure out why your dog was behaving out of character, they just put it down, that is shockingly unfair on your poor dog. What if it was something that could have been treated.

There is some shocking negativity around dogs here, and no it's not all 'realism' it's just fear. You're right, you can't guarantee that a dog will never do something, but you can make a fairly educated guess that most dogs are safe and most owners are responsible.

I hope you all teach your children how to respond to dogs in public, and no this doesn't mean 'being scared' of them. Teach your children how to recognise dog body language, how to approach a dog safely, how to play safely. It's not always about the dog and if your child can't be trusted around a pet then they need supervising when with that pet, for the pet's safety too.

OP, I am sorry that the country we live in is backwards with regard to dog ownership legislation, breed banning laws are rubbish (German Shepherds are safe in England, but not in Ireland, Pitties are safe in America but not in England) and don't tackle the real issues in any meaningful way, they are lazy 'solutions'.

Saying that, the law is what it is (until it's changed) and it's in your best interests to follow that law, which you have now said you will be. If you're comfortable having your dog sleep in bed with you DD then don't imagine the worst, if you're not comfortable then perhaps a dog bed in her room/next to her bed?

mummymummums · 31/07/2017 23:22

Loopsdefruits you were there were you???
If you'd have seen the dog go on attack, you might understand. None of us could have stopped him except my Dad who v nearly couldn't.
The vet muzzled him and said he was 99% sure it was a brain tumour. There is that 1% doubt I grant you. He was examined thoroughly but not scanned. This was the 1980s btw. My brother and I were young.
Obviously my parents were devastated, and obviously they could have done the dog friendly thing and kept him in the hope he wouldn't attack one of us again whilst it was all investigated. Not really sure what treatable thing you think might have caused this, and why you think a family with young children should keep a dog that has attacked twice in one day.
The vet advised the euthanasia. But you carry on making your assumptions if it livens up your day.

kali110 · 31/07/2017 23:32

HooplaLoopla1 angieloumc
Really? You can't believe the op faces negativity? Yet on here there are people on here saying they would judge her, cross over the road, go in the opposite direction and the threads not even full, but you can't see how she faces so much negativity?

StarHeartDiamond · 31/07/2017 23:41

Kali - why wouldn't people be nervous of a breed of dog that is known for powerful bite and in some cases aggression and often goes hand in hand with owners who has them for protection, threat and fighting? Confused of course she faces negativity, that goes with the territory of owning a breed such as a pit bull... what does she expect? That strangers automatically should know the dog is of good temperament on sight? Sorry but that's naive. She might love her own dog but to expect strangers to as well is naive.

angieloumc · 31/07/2017 23:41

kali110 I didn't say she had no negativity at all just it seems a bit strange she has as much as she's saying. I never said I would cross the road to avoid her dog. Though I do think it's very short sighted of her to not have the dog always on a lead.

BlurryFace · 01/08/2017 00:15

I'd probably react "negatively", as in watch your dog like a hawk while keeping my kids and dog away from it. Sorry, but it is what it is. I've had to rescue my chihuahua from an akita and stood between her and all sorts of ill behaved under exercised working breeds and been sworn at when I told a man to keep his large out of control dog away from my family's frail senile poodle (RIP old boy).

kali110 · 01/08/2017 01:20

of course she faces negativity, that goes with the territory of owning a breed such as a pit bull... what does she expect?
Actually no why should she?
She should expect people to make rude comments to her then?
Unless the dog is showing signs of aggression when she is out, or is running up to other people, then no she shouldn't have to expect strangers to make rude judgemental comments towards her Hmm
I certainly wouldn't.

It shouldnt be sleeping in your young childs bed though op.
Same if it were a terrier, they're dogs and your smallchild.

JenTheSprtacusPuppy · 01/08/2017 01:36

Letting the dog sleep in with your child is unwise, even more so when the dog is going through a big change (you said you only allowed it when moving house) and is nervous and unsettled. The dog has had a whole change in environment when you moved house, even the smoothest of moves can be stressful for an animal, and stressed, nervous animals are even more unpredictable. You keep saying you know the dog wouldn't hurt dd, that you trust it, I bet the parents of children injured or killed by the family dog felt the same though. It's really not worth to take needless risks.

You saying you've tried to stop dog sleeping with dd, but that dog can get through blocked door and dd shouts it? Dd is old enough to know that when she's told no, she doesn't go behind your back and shout the dog into her room. Explain to dd she could get dog into trouble making him do something he's not allowed. If she continues to shout him in then I'd be putting the baby gate at bottom of stairs and dog wouldn't be allowed in her room at have said could you compromise and put a crate in dds room but she's already gone behind your back shouting him in so maybe she'd let him out of the crate too.

You're the adult and if you've said it's not allowed then it shouldn't be happening. You're supposed to be in charge of the dog and the child. If you really do want to stop dog sleeping in dds bed then you need to be consistent with both of them, even if the dog and dd are crying the first few nights, no should mean no.

TheClaws · 01/08/2017 03:18

OP, of course you can stop the dog sleeping on your four year old's bed (!) You're the adult here. The dog is also not your child. He is an animal - potentially a dangerous one. A lovely animal, but one that was bred specifically to kill. Your children are your children. Put measures in place to protect them, yourself, others, and other other animals, and you just might find yourself enjoying him more because you're not worrying constantly. Don't worry about his 'feelings', as you seem to be doing, as he runs on instincts, care and love. And it's clear you're giving him plenty Smile

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