To hate this thing my mum does?

[Cocklodger]

On the phone (I live overseas) she always does the following.
For example (this is a recent one)

Her: Have you watched game of thrones yet?

Me: no I haven't seen it yet - I've got to buy a Foxtel prescription

Her: oh, I watched it last night.

Me: cool, no spoilers please because I know she always does this

Her: oh it was so good, xy did this and...

Me: please don't mum I haven't seen it yet, I don't want to hear it.

Her: oh I was gonna say what x did to y was horrible...

Ad infinitum. Until I put the phone down. My fuse has gotten shorter recently.
It's not always spoilers sometimes it's a blow by blow encounter from a tv show I've never watched or disliked, which annoys me as I have to hear about such and such characters doing x y and z and something about a gay cage fighter... god knows.
I was very upset the other day as I had some important news to tell her but only 15mins or so spare as I had to take DD to her dads by a certain time. I tried to tell her that but all I got in return was "oh I was gonna say " so I just sort of shut up and waited. Had her on the phone while I sorted everything got dd strapped in and I had to go but then all I got was "why? Is everything alright" my response "yes I must take DD to Ex name house I'll be back at such and such time" then she makes me feel guilty by going "oh... I didn't realise you didn't have time..."

Another thing I've sort of touched on is when she says "I was going to say"
She'll be interrupted by me getting flustered and frustrated, then all she says is "I was going to say "

I love her but god she is so hard to talk to

You all have my absolute sympathy. My mother lives abroad with my dad and calls every couple of days to say 'any gossip?' She said never lived in the county I live in and knows nobody I know. She talks over me and shouts down the phone. I can't bear talking to her it's a hideous experience. Even my children scarper as soon as they know it's her. She's an incredibly controlling woman who also sulks should I ask to even say hello to my dad (whom I only ever speak to a handful of times every couple of years). On Father's Day I called him, left message for him, yet my mother waited til he went out with the dogs and she called me back.
Furthermore I've just endured 3 days with the woman who is rude manipulative and attention seeking. She visits once a year. How I manage not to throttle her I don't know. She actually didn't pause for breath the entire time she was here. Not relevant I know but she also kept wacking me on the bottom whilst in public really hard as though it was funny. It flipping hurt and was really embarrassing. I just wanted to punch her!! At least she can't do that down the phone. I miss my dad terribly but she's always absorbed everything from everyone!

@saynotocarrots Do we have the same mother?????

@StayCloseToMe
I read your post and really feel for you. I've been there. Sometimes the more effort you make, the lonelier you can feel. My family, I'm one of 8 lives miles away, some abroad yet apart from my wicked mother, I hear very little from unless they have s problem in their lives. Can you pm me?

My mum does the story thing too....mainly about how me or my siblings, other relatives or complete strangers wronged her donkeys years ago......she's got more repeats than bloody UK Gold

Repetition of detailed stories about people I don't know and care about even less. Or worse repeating unfounded gossip and passing judgement on situations she has no idea about. And her lovely revisionist version of family history in which I am "reminded" about embarrassing actions I did at times she will acknowledge I was not present. Calls are a bundle of fun.

My dad and brother do not talk to her anymore which is sad and only exacerbates her isolation. It leads to increasingly needy conversational tics (see above) creating a cycle of increasing disengagement. It is like I am her validation window on the world. A role I don't have the time or emotional resilience to deal with.

Dianag111
While I feel very sorry for your loss thats an incredibly unfair thing to say.
It can be used for almost any situation, too.
Eg,
"My dog is doing my head in"
"Well my dog got pts last week you never know when it'll be the last time he humps the postman/shits on the sofa/barks at his own fart"

"My husband has upset me by doing x y and z"
"Well I'd love to hear my husbands voice you never know when it'll be your last argument"

"Aibu my sisters an entitled cow?"
"YABU she might get hit by a bus tomorrow!"
Not a reasonable thing to say by any means. I am however very sorry for your loss and hope you are doing okay.

When I speak to my mum on the phone, we have what feels like a lovely conversation - nobody dominating, flowing nicely from topic to topic, both interested in what the other is saying - but when she puts the phone down, I guarantee that if there is anyone else about at her end she will say "good grief Freezer can talk!' as though I have just been bending her ear for the last ten minutes and she's not got a word in.

My sister and her husband were there from overseas for a while a couple of months ago, and mentioned it to me - they thought it seemed really odd. So then I started listening really carefully for any indication she might want to get off the phone, and not chatting for as long as we might usually - and according to DSis, she still did it!

Mind you I think some of this is from viewing the phone as a bit of a luxury/for the transmitting of urgent information rather than chitchat. (She still sometimes worries if I phone in the day as it's more expensive then - except it isn't...). What's weird is that she seems happy to chitchat at the time....

I feel like i need my own thread about this to be honest. The thing is (belligerent - listen to this!) we (all 5 of us - me, DH 3 adult DCs and our three year old) are leaving our home and moving in with my mother soon so that

1. we are nearer her and i can care for her and
2. so that we can make the most of our biggest family asset - that house and it's land - and build on it making it big enough for us all to live there happily ever after together.

Some nights i wake up in a cold sweat. It will certainly cure her loneliness and makes financial sense, but by this time next year i recon i'll have gone insane.

My mum phones to tell me trivia about strangers, the plots of series I don't watch and everything she's done in minute detail. It's not age related, she has always nattered on about this stuff. I just think she's really into trivia and can't get her head around the fact that not everyone is. The odd thing is, her mother was not like this at all, I used to have lovely, interesting conversations with my gran. But my dad's mum was exactly the same. She would talk for hours about random crap and not listen to a word anyone said in response. I sometimes wonder if he married her because he'd been trained to nod and smile and look like he was interested in Jill's postman's dog's hairdresser's aunt's bunions.

See that's the thing; I'm the same age now as my mother was when I left home, so I've been talking to her on the phone every week for the past 30 years and she's always been like this. It's in no way age or loneliness related. She has more friends and interests than I do.

Like Saskia said, my nan wasn't like this. She was always interested in my life and what the kids were up to.

Oh Laiste, Laiste, Laiste you are sooooo screwed!

You need to get a hobby that takes you out of the house a lot.

I couldn't do it, my mental health would not hold up, you're a braver omen than I - kudos.

1forAll74

I've wanted to start my own thread about this for ages.
My Mum never shuts up. Ever.
Boring, negative, complaining, repetitive, self absorbed shite. Its not an age thing, shes always been this way.

Too much interest in what the neighbours are doing, no interest in me and my life whatsoever. I hardly tell her anything as she just dismisses it and goes back to talking about herself.

Repetitive crap about people I don't know.

Mum: Dave's in hospital
Me: Dave who?
Mum: Sheila's son.
Me: I don't know him.
Mum: Well I only met him once, he wore ugly shoes

A few days later....

Mum: Dave's still in hospital
Me: Dave who?
Mum: Sheila's son.
Me: I dont know him.
Mum: Well I only met him once, he wore ugly shoes

A few days later.....

Mum: Dave's out of hospital
Me: Dave who?
Mum: Sheila's son.
Me: I dont know him.
Mum: Well I only met him once, he wore ugly shoes

This went on for a few weeks, exactly same responses from me until I exploded and asked her to STOP going on about people I don't know.
She got all huffy then.

I could go on but I'd be here till next week.