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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ARE YOU SHIFTING ME?!

140 replies

Jessiecat27 · 30/07/2017 14:45

I'm fucking livid. Oh's 'D'gm came round yesterday, we've recently moved house and they both tidied and organised whilst I was out (really appreciated it) just gone to look for my council tax letter to send off along with a few other important documents and I can't find them anywhere. Checked in the bin and all of my bank statements, hospital letters, receipts for recently bought items I needed to keep have been shredded. No sign of anything else so I'm assuming they were also shredded and are in the bin outside! Would you go round to a family members house and bin their important documents?! I've never been so angry in my life. Angry

OP posts:
dudsville · 30/07/2017 14:47

Your oh did what while that was happening?

Anecdoche · 30/07/2017 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 30/07/2017 14:47

I would be livid. But you need to find out from oh what happened while you were out

Likely to be him?! Maybe she asked him?!

Clutching at straws I know. I feel your pain. Sorry Flowers

DJBaggySmalls · 30/07/2017 14:49

Thats so intrusive, I cant imagine doing it. I dont even read other peoples letter.

mrscropley · 30/07/2017 14:49

Threaten to post his testicles into the shredder. .

MartinJD · 30/07/2017 14:51

I think you are being a tad unreasonable here after they went to the bother of helping you out buy tiding your place for you.

if you had kept them somewhere safe such as in a filing cabinet this could have easily been avoided.

TheMaddHugger · 30/07/2017 14:51

it makes no sense. Why shred them ?? Why even touch them ??

TheMaddHugger · 30/07/2017 14:53

MartinJD Sun 30-Jul-17 14:51:04
I think you are being a tad unreasonable here after they went to the bother of helping you out buy tiding your place for you.

if you had kept them somewhere safe such as in a filing cabinet this could have easily been avoided.


I do hope that was sarcasm
ARE YOU SHIFTING ME?!
Original poster
Jessiecat27 · 30/07/2017 14:55

They were filed away safely. I have found the council tax and a few other bits but regardless, my hospital letters which I always keep along with my bank statements and receipts have been shredded. I'll be asking him don't worry!

OP posts:
MartinJD · 30/07/2017 14:57

When you say they where filed away where they actually marked as such? IE do not shred?

ConstanceCraving · 30/07/2017 14:59

U ok hun?

RitaMills · 30/07/2017 14:59

That's weird, really fucking weird! Shock

Is there some sort mental impairment at play here?

Beebee7 · 30/07/2017 15:00

Why on earth were your DH's relatives in your house, and in your business and paperwork?

Bit weird. Confused

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 30/07/2017 15:00

You shouldn't have to mark anything as 'do not shred'. Surely people tidying and organising should be doing just that!

I'm sure whatever happened was done out of misjudged helpfulness. But I would still be raging. Official paperwork and receipts would just get stashed away for the owner to sort through themselves. I wouldn't be going through anything so private

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 30/07/2017 15:01

MartinJD do you write do not shred on your documents? Hmm

Original poster
Jessiecat27 · 30/07/2017 15:03

No I shouldn't have to, he does as he pleases with his documents, anything with my name on it have always told him to keep as a lot of them are important, I regularly go through my own and bin them as I deem fit. I can't believe people are okay with this!

OP posts:
SpartacusSaiman · 30/07/2017 15:03

Why was she cleaning your house? Surely your OH told her not to touch any of the filing?

Or did oh no have a clue she was going through the papers?

Oysterbabe · 30/07/2017 15:03

Are you sure it wasn't OH? I have itchy fingers to shred the mountain of pointless documents my DH insists on storing. Planning to return that washing machine you bought 12 years ago and got rid of 5 years ago are you love?

Jammydodger81 · 30/07/2017 15:03

Martin why the fuck should OP mark her personal, quite obviously important letters as do not shred when they're in her own fucking house? You're just being a gf.

I hate things like this OP as she was obviously trying to help but has overstepped boundaries. If it was me I wouldn't have even read the paperwork, let alone destroyed it! Surely you just set it to the side for the owner to deal with?

AnotherLegoBrick · 30/07/2017 15:04

I think they will probably turn up somewhere. At the beginning of the thread you were certain that the council tax bill was shredded - now you have found it.

House moves are very stressful - don't start an argument without the evidence.

Original poster
Jessiecat27 · 30/07/2017 15:05

Things that I have bought in the last few weeks? Exactly, I would never go through someone's paperwork without them asking and certainly wouldn't bin anything, regardless of whether it was my oh or another family member

OP posts:
Original poster
Jessiecat27 · 30/07/2017 15:06

I've gone through the bin (indoors) and I can see my name and can tell what the documents are, I have a right to be pissed off.

OP posts:
Roomster101 · 30/07/2017 15:09

Unless your OH is totally nuts I would be very surprised if they decided to shred documents that you had safety filed away. More likely, you have just mislaid them. Whatever you do don't start accusing without good evidence (this has to be more than the fact that you can't find the documents btw,)

lastrose123 · 30/07/2017 15:10

They should not have done it. Ask them never to do it again it is not worth having a falling out over. You do have every right to be cross but they were trying to help.

MsPassepartout · 30/07/2017 15:10

You shouldn't have to mark anything as 'do not shred'.

^^ This. It's seriously not okay, or normal, to go into someone else's house and shred papers.

Put it on a shelf, sort it into categories, maybe even put some in a pile and say "this looks like junk but double check before binning it", but shredding it? No. That's seriously overstepping normal boundaries.
The only possible exception would be if you had a box labelled "destroy everything in this box". And I'm guessing OP's papers weren't in a pile labelled "please shred me".