Professional Northerners

[DonaldStott]

Disclaimer - I am a Northerner, but I cannot fucking stand these people. Jason Manford, peter kay, shelley lindsay, paddy mcguinness, 'ooh I'm so northern I go the chippy for me breakfast', ooh only northerners get me cos I'm so northern',

Fuck off.

Only because I have just heard jason manford on the radio making up his northern stories that never happened and it really annoyed me

Jason Manford used to send me really flirty verging on sexual messages on twitter when I was 18 and he was married. So a real nice guy?

To be honest Quinten, I don't think the Gallaghers are that exaggerated. A lot of working class Mancs talk like that.

I

I was born in the Isles of Scilly so anything past Penzance is north to me

I don't think it is particularly a Northerner thing. My father is a professional Cornishman, which is interesting because he was born on a large country estate in the Home Counties.

I do work with a woman who does the whole "I'm from the north so I'll tell it like it is and if you don't like it then it's because you're a soft southerner" but it's just an excuse for being a rude old bag especially after she let it slip that she has spent most of her life in Surrey

Cilla was also one of the worst professional northerners. Her accent was totally put on. She's not lived in Liverpool for years.

She's not lived anywhere for years.

Gwenhwyfar No actually rude. Friend turns up unannounced and asks if I've got the kettle on. I say, "Actually I've got my cousin and her husband here, can we do coffee another day?" Friend, (barging past me) "Oh, I'll only stay twenty minutes or so". Rude.

I remember Cheryl cole on the x factor a few years ago and a contestant was from Newcastle and worked in a chippy. Really annoyed me when she said " ooh they do gravy there"... as though its just a Newcastle thing.. yeah love think you'll find gravy in most chippies ( I'm from Liverpool)

hunted it's less the accent than the general attitude. Liam in particular.

I don't think Gravys a thing with chips down south though is it? so my friend from London tells me anyway.

he said "battth" and "pattthhh"

What does that mean? How do you pronounce all those extra ts and hs and how is that northern?

What do you all think of Billy Connolly?

He's a professional al Glaswegian

I think a lot of what people dislike on this thread comes from the fact that for years we had jokes about how the north was all mines, whippets and flat caps and that you didn't get culture north of the Watford gap. Now that people have discovered that's not the case (well, some people have) we obviously get a bit defensive. We've been doing things up here in a certain way for years, that kind of thing.

I must confess to my belief that you can't get a good cup of tea past Birmingham!

It's not just professional Northeners, I really want to smash the TV when I see and hear professional foreign chefs with the deliberately heavy accent.

Anyone in particular toads?

I can think of one that proper gets on my tits. There's no way his accent is still as strong as he pretends it to be either.

We don't have gravy in Southern chippies or curry sauce or mushy peas

I hate this too. I'm from Merseyside and see ordinary people do it, so not like it's just part of an act for laughs. 'only in Liverpool!' no, it's not unique or special and has happened a thousand times over across the world. 'we've got the best sense of humour' nah youre just trotting out the same shit you heard growing up, nothing funny or witty about that. I just think people are people and there's nothing wrong in having pride in where you're from but it doesn't define you and you are an individual. It is so insular and I see it in loads of places (in the nw!)

Northerners have always found that strange. I went to live in London from the North many years ago for a few years and couldn't believe they didn't have gravy or curry in the chippies.

We don't have gravy in Southern chippies or curry sauce or mushy peas

Hence the urban legend about Peter Mandelson pointing to the mushy peas in a Hartlepool chip shop, and asking for some of the Guacamole.

& make it appear that we are all uncivilised louts.

Nah then....we are, aren't we?

I'm well and truly baffled by where people think Salford is 😂
As for professional northerners - can't get upset about it. Maybe I am one?
I like gravy on my chips, listen to the stone roses, talk like Sara Cox and moan about the rain.
I've never had a saveloy (not even sure what one is) and have only seen three £50 notes in my entire life.
None of this is an excuse to act like a dickhead. And I don't think I do.

Hence the urban legend about Peter Mandelson pointing to the mushy peas in a Hartlepool chip shop, and asking for some of the Guacamole

I am desperate for this to be true

I hate pointedly working class 'i' m so real' behaviour, chippies, birds, football, pub, daily mail 'reality' crap North or South but I know what you mean about manford

Lol eastmids

I'm from the North East (Near Sunderland) and I can't say it bothers me in the slightest

The 'I'm so real' comes from not having very wide horizons I think. If that's what you grew up with and that's all you know, anything outside of it seems fake.

I've never had a saveloy Oo, I love a saveloy!