To be scared of how poo life can be with a DC?

[BlueIsYou]

Specifically a very young DC.

I'm due soon and all I really see on Mumsnet is the awful of having a newborn

I don't recall seeing anything good said about newborn/young DC.

I'm quite scared of it all. It's as if the good doesn't always outweigh the bad at all?

In my own experience, I have three very much so younger siblings who've been gold from day 1 really, and never caused many issues.

My DM certainly never went without showering and she never had any help (apart from me, but I rarely stepped in).

Is it really that awful sometimes? That you can't even brush your teeth if you are determined to?

I'm extremely odd about personal hygiene and I would rather someone imprison me and cut off all my luscious locks than someone forbid me from having a shower/carrying out my routine of dental hygiene.

The sleep deprivation is better managed with just one DC to attend to, surely? I can understand the sheer relentlessness of it if you have another DC to run after though.

Honestly, new parenthood just seems a bit shit when you look on MN

I sympathise. Our first is due in November and although for the most part I am really excited - the various posts on MN do make for scary reading!
I'm trying to comfort myself by thinking that if you have an 'easy' baby and no major issues, you wouldn't need to post on a forum about it... and that's why you can read more negative stories than positive ones.
Congratulations to you!

Life isn't that bad. I always managed my shower and to brush my teeth. I did bottle feed though so DC was quickly in a routine and slept well

ethel I'm due in November too

dada I will be bottle feeding too

I had a really bloody hard baby first time. I didn't manage to 'sleep when baby sleeps' as I don't really find napping in the day pleasant at the best of times. Also when I got a break from rocking the reflux, puking, farting and belching beast I was cleaning up all the sick covered clothes, blankets, furniture etc.

I always managed to shower, dress, style my hair and apply concealer (under the eyes v. important).

People don't tend to go on about easy babies so much. What is there to say? Plus they were in danger of being murdered by me if they went on about gurgly smiles, perfect weight gain, self settling and actual sleeping.

She was a lush toddler though. Absolute ray of sunshine with blue eyes and curls. Never easy though.

I think it can be tough with a non-sleeping, reflux-suffering, colic-stricken (delete as appropriate) baby, but it can also be pretty straightforward and lovely, and - for some people - a total breeze.

For me, the early days of getting the hang of bf etc were a bit tough, but all in all - it was a lovely, happy time. Showering continued as normal. And DS was, and remains, the best thing ever. He turned my life upside down, but mainly because I had NO idea - not ever being someone very maternal - how much I'd love him. There may be some long days, but no - it was never shit.

I have 3 DCs, youngest is 5 months and oldest is 11. I love the newborn stage. I've been luckily an none of mine have had colic or reflux so have been fairly happy, but all with their challenges (currently lying in my bed as ds(5mo) won't sleep without me next to him). The hardest thing imo is adjusting from being child free to having children.

I've not found it too bad. First few weeks were tough because Ds was in hospital but I've always been able to shower. Mostly I just stuck him in a chair on the floor of the bathroom after a a feed.

I was talking to DH about this earlier. Ds is now six months and we've found the whole baby experience overall enjoyable. I'm beginning to find the sleepless nights tough now I'm pregnant and when Ds had colic that wasn't great but overall I've loved it

Well, I'm one who says it was the most wonderful time of my life.

I think on here people rush to support those who are struggling, but I can see how it might look as though a lot hated being parents in the early days.

For me and my friends, though we had the odd bout of PND, mastitis etc (so it wasn't entirely troublefree) it was never ever thought that we were better off before we had them. Our children brought us joy. Yes, there are worries and yes you get tired, but never ever did we think "if we could change back time, we would."

Ds also has reflux and took ages to have his milk allergy diagnosed but it was ok despite this

I liked the baby phase. I don't think there was ever a day where I couldn't have a shower or brush teeth. It does help if you have a baby that naps though, but I used to bring her into the bathroom in her bouncy chair or just on a playmat if necessary!
I am finding the toddler stage harder.

You're right, nobody starts threads to say that it's lovely. It would be a boring thread and would be horrible for people with "high needs" babies to read. But since you asked I have a toddler and a 4month old. It's honestly lovely and the toddler is much more work than a newborn! Have always managed to shower, even if on the odd occasion it's been with the baby in a bouncer in the bathroom and the toddler in the shower too - needs must and all that!

Once she got to to two I was brave enough to do it again. Not so bad second time but clingy baby. I was used to the baby in sling while doing housework routine by them.

I'm not a natural, patient mum and I didn't get the easiest babies but no regrets. I would have had another if we were younger and richer.

Hi
I BF which felt like I was doing it 24/7 but managed to shower every morning & keep a (relatively) clean and tidy house.
Like you ... someone said to me 'oh well you won't have time for make up after baby comes' . My full face of make up was done daily whether I was staying in or going out !!

Don't panic. Newborns are easy and I had twins. They sleep loads, smell heavenly. Don't stress yourself out or try to do too much.

If it was really so bad - the world would be full of only children.

GOOD luck OP

I breast fed, had no family nearby, had truly horrific sleepers (DD1 slept through at 3.5, DD2 was better at 18 months!), have a 19 months age gap, DH works away a lot and it was bloody tough going. Always managed a shower and to brush my teeth though! Like you, I don't feel I can function without those things.
Even with all our difficulties, it was definitely worth the effort. They're 3 and 2 now and great company.

I've generally always managed to shower and brush teeth. It's an incredibley big shock having a newborn and there is really no way to prepare yourself for it, but it does get easier. You get used to your new way of life, get better at it and get into more of a routine.

I have a 3 month old - so far I have washed every day (right at the start sometimes I had a bath with her and then gave her to her dad so I could wash my hair). I even have time to sit and have a cup of tea and read a magazine or watch a TV show on my own most days.

And I get cuddles with my lovely smiley baby, and watch her grow and change every day. She is practising sitting up while holding my fingers at the moment. It's wonderful!

(I shower now with them both running in every now and then to say things like 'mummy, why have you got hairs on your bits?')

Stop looking on Mumsnet! People tend to only post about issues or problems. It skews the picture towards the negative and isn't representative of reality.

Of course you can look after your personal hygiene if it's important to you. Some babies can be harder work than others, some people have less support from partners than others, or no partner at all. Sometimes extreme sleep deprivation means you'd rather just sit and rest if you get the chance rather than jump in the shower and floss your teeth. Sometimes PND happens and means women struggle with what would otherwise be possible. There are ways around these things and you'll work out a way to manage.

I think most people don't mention the good, because it doesn't even seem necessary to mention it. Your baby will be beautiful and fascinating. The first smile will amaze you. I used to spend ages just enchanted when DS1 was asleep on me after a feed, looking at his tiny perfect features. I enjoyed other people complimenting him when we were out, watching him learn to roll, then sit up and so on and so on. So much stuff that I wouldn't want to bash on about, but plenty of good stuff!

KC225 new borns are not always easy

Well I loved looking newborn DC, it is magic. Tiring but there is nothing like it! I've had four DC and I still yearn for the baby days occasionally! I used to bath with mine when they were little.

I'm sure that, as Ethel says, by reading posts you probably get a rather biased sample!

For me the newborn / first few months year are a walk in the park compared to toddlerdom / child with it's own opinions and cast iron will (can you tell I have a 2.6yo and 4.6yo ?)

The tiredness was difficult but for me I never found any the early stages hard. Both times baby was completely dependant on me, so I expected to be held to ransom if that makes sense.

I never went without a shower or food (my second was a clingy one who was later diagnosed with CMPA) and I was out the house most days.

There is nothing quite like a newborn for me. It's quite magical in most respects.

Then you get to glorious period when baby gets a little personality and starts to get a weeny bit independent from you (3m-1y is def my favourite time.)

When they get to the age of being willfully difficult, then you need

I have a 4yo and 16mo and I've never not been able to shower and blow dry my hair. The house is a lot messier and I'm a lot more tired but I loved the baby stage with both of them. Both were breast fed, both excellent sleepers (sleeping through at 6 weeks and 8 weeks respectively although DC1 did go through a bad spell later on).

I learnt to shower much more quickly, but always manage a shower! TBH, you don't know what kind of baby you'll get and you don't know how you'll respond. You might get one who's happy to lie in their cot while you shower or you might get a crier but feel happy to leave them to cry a bit while you sleep. Personally I love having a baby! It is harder to get other things done, but they're just so adorable you don't mind. There is absolutely nothing in the world as brilliant as snuggling your own baby. They won't even care whether you've had a shower.

If people have time to post on mumsnet they have time to brush their teeth.
It is fucking hard though.