To be scared of how poo life can be with a DC?

[BlueIsYou]

Specifically a very young DC.

I'm due soon and all I really see on Mumsnet is the awful of having a newborn

I don't recall seeing anything good said about newborn/young DC.

I'm quite scared of it all. It's as if the good doesn't always outweigh the bad at all?

In my own experience, I have three very much so younger siblings who've been gold from day 1 really, and never caused many issues.

My DM certainly never went without showering and she never had any help (apart from me, but I rarely stepped in).

Is it really that awful sometimes? That you can't even brush your teeth if you are determined to?

I'm extremely odd about personal hygiene and I would rather someone imprison me and cut off all my luscious locks than someone forbid me from having a shower/carrying out my routine of dental hygiene.

The sleep deprivation is better managed with just one DC to attend to, surely? I can understand the sheer relentlessness of it if you have another DC to run after though.

Honestly, new parenthood just seems a bit shit when you look on MN

Just remember that no one is going to write a post online saying actually today with my newborn was lovely. There are tough bits but it is honestly lovely too. It's easier as they get older though! I always managed to shower too. I fed the baby and then showered straight away. By then the baby would be going to sleep again. Also make sure you do the NCt or similar. Meeting up with new friends who were going through the same stuff really did help. X

Also- I always managed to shower, brush teeth and have a relatively tidy house. I had no family support whatsoever- not a stealth boast but just reassuring you that some people do manage and enjoy the first few months. Good luck.

It's not. It's a period of time in your life which is completely different to what you're used to. You'll give birth to a baby that society has told you you'll fall in love with and Mother Nature will kick in. But seriously, it's hard (no one trains you for this role), it's not how you envisaged it but it also not how anyone else can advise you it's going to be. Your baby is your baby. Your circumstances. Yes it'll be shit at times but it'll be amazing at others. That's life in general. It's just now you've got this little person looking to you for every little step - and you're making it up as you go and that's absolutely fine. Make it the way you want it. You'll make mistakes - as has everyone else and as will your child one day - don't feel guilty.

As someone who is going back to work and stepping back out of that "mummy box" again. Enjoy it as much as you can. Even the shit times (colic for 12 weeks and no sleep at times) are now fonder memories as they were time spent with my boy. Bad or good. Don't worry about not loving the little one straight away - it'll come flooding in and those memories of days which seemed a chore at the time will fade. You're about to start the best bloody job of your life - congratulations.

I loved life with a newborn, he was an easy and very happy wee boy who was a pleasure to be around I just couldn't put him down I was so smitten. Still am 2years on. He had some reflux issues and was not a napper so it wasn't always easy and I had no help or support and didn't really make a decent mummy friend until he was 8 months. You just have to persevere sometimes things take time and you won't always get it right or have a great day but it's always worth it. Just remember to take time to look after yourself it will help especially when you have a harder day.

I found it hard work but enjoyable, overall a really happy and special time in my life. I find it much harder with a full time job and a 5 year old! He wasn't a great sleeper - still isn't - and there was the never ending washing, poos up his back as we were about to leave the house, a painful bout of nipple thrush etc, but mostly it was excitement at every milestone, closeness and cuddles and new baby smell. Sometimes something has to give, but it doesn't have to be your shower, and it's only for a little while. Enjoy your time with your new baby, they really do grow so quickly xx

Newborns aren't tricky. It's them toddlers that drive you batty 10 times an hour, but even then you grow and learn how to adapt each stage.

People will complain about the bad stuff but rarely share the good stuff because it sounds smug.

My coping tricks:

• Shower with baby in my line of sight in a carry car seat. It handled my anxiety of her needing me and my not knowing and for my company obsessed little one (she's 10 now and still loves company) she knew I was nearby

• Brush your teeth when you wake...I only really forgot on days when I planned on brushing them after breakfast. As breakfast for me normally morphed into brunch/lunch until DD1 was old enough to eat with me it invariably meant my teeth would be missed.

As for everything else you'll figure it out.

Pregnancy trains you for sleep deprivation and it's surprisingly easy to carry on as normal on just 3 or 4 hours of sleep while you all get used to this new version of your life. Just make sure you get some booster naps booked in when DH/parent/in-law/sibling is happy to take over for an hour. It doesn't sound like long but it's so worth it and they'll love the time to get to know baby without you hovering/watching like a hawk.

Just enjoy the first few months as much as you can. There's nothing quite like it. I didn't savour the 2am feeds with DD1 but I really did with DD2 because I realised how precious that time was and how fleeting it can be.

Best of luck

If baby is safe in his bed, fed and clean, even if he's annoyed, you can take 10 minutes for a shower!

It's definitely a shock to the system and now and again in the early days it was mid afternoon before I remembered I hadn't brushed my teeth yet but it's not impossible. Plus they make them very cute! It's hard to hold a grudge when they start smiling and laughing at you.

Sometime they just have to cry for a few minutes though so that you can do basic things.

If it was that awful nobody would have more than one child

I had twins and it was fine - it was a bit of a fug of feed-wind-change-sleep-repeat for 3 months or so but I never went a day without a shower or had to forgo teeth scrubs or eating. It's fine. You'll be fine. It's not all hearts and rainbows but it's fine, promise

I have a 5 month old DC. It's not been bad at all. In fact I've loved it the vast majority of the time! The first two weeks were tough with sleep deprivation but after that I adjusted and he also began to sleep better as the weeks went by, and now sleep is quite good. Ive always had time for 2 showers a day, plus I don't find it hard to get 15 mins or so in the morning for hair and make up etc. I eat nice food, go out every day to do something or other see friends etc. It's actually been one of the happiest times of my life.

Hands down it's never as terrible as people make it out to be, so don't worry! Everything in life changes, yes, but all for the better.

DD is 4 months, and is the best little human ever (even when I'm changing her for the 3rd time after a poo explosion or she wants fed NOW).

I've had a shower and brushed my teeth every single day since she was born (including the day she was born!), and if I don't manage to dry my hair and put on makeup it's because I've chosen not to.

A bouncy chair is handy to stick them in in the bathroom, DD likes the sound of the shower while I'm in it and the sound of the hairdryer. Think ours was about a tenner, and it's her favourite thing!

Best of luck and enjoy your lovely little baby when he/she arrives!

My ds is 16 weeks old. I wouldn't say it's difficult or horrible. It was hard the first couple of weeks because I ended up having emergency c section, so lifting him, etc was tough. Sleep wise, he's only really ever gotten up at 4am. He still does. Yes, it was hard to begin with when dp went back to work, trying to have a shower/eat/do housework/bf/express, but you get into a rhythm. My ds has reflux and it's been hard to see him sick & upset & sore, but I love being a Mum. It's awesome. I still look at him and am in total awe of him. Good luck, you'll do great 😊

f it was that awful nobody would have more than one child

If I'd had the second one first, I wouldn't have had another child...

Some babies are "easy" some aren't.

If it was all completely horrific then the world would be full of only children.

Everyone has their moments and their horror stories, but each stage lasts such a short time. On bad days, usually something happens to counteract it. Just when you think you are at rock bottom because you are tired, they choose to smile for the first time and your heart just melts and all seems well with the world again.

Yes, there were days where I struggled to get a shower, but they were days, days out of years, not weeks on end.

Don't worry! Obviously some people have difficult babies but the majority don't. I have a 12 week old girl. I always have time to shower and clean my teeth. I've left the house every day. My house is clean and tidy, although I do have a cleaner. I do the clothes washing and ironing and often prepare dinner. I don't have help from my family as I don't live in the UK and my husband works 7 days a week at the moment so sometimes I'm bored/lonely.

When she was a newborn she slept the majority of the time I almost forgot about her! She only ate every 2 - 3 hours so I didn't have the experience I've frequently read on here of mums constantly feeding at the early stages. Now she does like to be held when she's awake as she doesn't like lying down but will sometimes be happy in her bouncy chair so I can get on with things. If she didn't then I would let her cry in her bassinet if I desperately needed to do something eg clean my teeth. She tends to cluster feed in the evening at the moment but I can eat my dinner with 1 hand.

She sleeps about 10 hours a day and I'm significantly less tired than when I was pregnant. It is amazing when she smiles.

I still feel exactly the same person as I did before! Kind of dreading the toddler stage now though...

Never missed a shower and was never too busy to have lunch. I bf both dc on demand, but i am v organised and need to have routine. Dc 2 was a ducking nightmare, but lunch time used be the highlight of my day until weaning: cbeebies, sandwich and cake for dc1 and me and big feed dc2.

I felt the same as you op, despite loving babies I absolutely dreaded the newborn stage. Mental image of myself wandering zombie like from room to room with a nappy on my head for several months!!
It wasn't like that at all and I have to say I really really enjoyed the baby stage.
Yes I was tired and sleep deprived at times but I coped. The bits people don't tell you are how much you love your baby. How you glow with pride when somebody admires them and how much fun it is watching them grow and develop.
Yes people moan online because a post saying;
Hi everybody I wanted to say I'm happy, enjoying my baby and getting enough sleep.... Would be a bit pointless.
You will be fine, you will find your way though the tricky bits and occasionally you will stop in your tracks and think "I made a human being!!"

It can be tough, but as is so often said it really does pass quickly and you do just get your head down and get on with it.

When DD was ten weeks old DH was deployed to Afghanistan for six months, it was tough, I won't lie, but honestly as long as you and baby are fed it's a good day.

For what it's worth I never went without a shower, I took the philosophy that a few minutes of crying in a safe environment (in the cot or bouncy chair) wouldn't harm her.

I didn't find it too hard with one, especially when still on mat leave.
When I had another was when everything went to shit. My roots are so bad that my hair is currently half brown, half brown with grey streaks

Mixture of ages mentioned but this is a nice thread to read:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2978463-Those-little-moments-when-you-just-think-I-love-being-a-mum?pg=1&order=

I developed horrible depression and debilitating anxiety when DS was born. Hopefully that won't happen to you, but my experience is pretty common. If you feel truly black and get absolutely no joy at all from life then don't wait, see a doctor asap. I loathed the baby stage but most of my ante natal friends actively enjoyed it, sleep deprivation and all. Statistically, you will too.

I have a 2 month old and am loving it so far! It really is not that bad and those little smiles make everything worthwhile.

It's hard in ways you haven't experienced before, and you'll be more tired than you've ever been, but oh my goodness it's the most wonderful feeling to have a newborn baby

It can be hard at times (to put it mildly) but what you don't hear about is how much you love them. It really is quite staggering. Honestly it makes everything worth it!

Also this is coming from someone who was shell shocked and took a little while to warm up to the whole new mum thing

Why bottle feeding though, do you really want to disadvantage your sc?