To be scared of how poo life can be with a DC?

[BlueIsYou]

Specifically a very young DC.

I'm due soon and all I really see on Mumsnet is the awful of having a newborn

I don't recall seeing anything good said about newborn/young DC.

I'm quite scared of it all. It's as if the good doesn't always outweigh the bad at all?

In my own experience, I have three very much so younger siblings who've been gold from day 1 really, and never caused many issues.

My DM certainly never went without showering and she never had any help (apart from me, but I rarely stepped in).

Is it really that awful sometimes? That you can't even brush your teeth if you are determined to?

I'm extremely odd about personal hygiene and I would rather someone imprison me and cut off all my luscious locks than someone forbid me from having a shower/carrying out my routine of dental hygiene.

The sleep deprivation is better managed with just one DC to attend to, surely? I can understand the sheer relentlessness of it if you have another DC to run after though.

Honestly, new parenthood just seems a bit shit when you look on MN

It honestly depends on the child. 1st baby was a dream- slept for 12 hours from 10 weeks had 2 huge days sleeps etc no problem with maintaining previous routine. No. 2 didn't sleep for 18 months and no. three is 9 months and doesn't sleep ( day or night). Put it this way.... there won't be a fourth 😂😂 In all honesty if you want to do something you make time! No sleep is hard however I get up at 5 despite being so tired to exercise as it is my time and I enjoy it... once you find a routine thinfs will be fine

Yes it is 100% hard but it is lovely. For me I always felt like I was in my own bubble, I miss the network days!

I really enjoyed my maternity leave, the first couple of months were the hardest, but even then I always managed to shower (as others have said I just put baby in a little rocker chair in the same room, and she loved the sound of shower and was always fine). And I always managed to drink cups of tea when they were still warm! It's one of the happiest times in my life to be honest- and I wasn't really expecting it to be- but I wouldn't really ever say that in real life, because it sounds so smug and you never know how other people might be struggling (and I also know a lot of it was luck as DD was relatively easy). I second the advice of others that making some good baby friends makes the time off much more enjoyable as well. Good luck with your gorgeous newborn!

Motherhood is amazing. I've done a lot of career stuff before I had kids and went to some pretty exotic places. Tbh it was great but the adventure of having kids is just mind blowing.

Of course it's tough going and there will be hard times but there are moments that are just magical. Cuddles, laughs, watching them experience something for the first time. Best time of my life!

I appreciate I'm gushing and I'm currently trying to get my nearly 1 year old daughter down for a nap but she has other plans (seems to feel a few more laps of the cot are required) but it is great.

People don't post the good stuff because not everyone experiences it in the same way but believe me there are some amazing times ahead for you and your baby

Forgot to add, decide what your daily must dos are and your 'it would be good if this happened today' list. Tick off the first as you go (shower if that's important to you) and aim for the second set but don't beat yourself up if you don't do these.

Most importantly be kind to yourself - you are doing an amazing job just being a mum!

You're as likely to have a baby that's happy, easy going and sleeps OK as one that's not. Just do as you want, ignore everyone who says you should do x,y,z etc. Do what suits you and baby. Mostly though, enjoy.

It's not necessarily going to be awful and exhausting.

My first baby was a dream. So placid, so happy. I found it a breeze. I couldn't understand why other mums were finding things hard. He slept well and fed well. It was a lovely time. It's not something you always want to say though as it sounds so smug!

I have a 3 month old DS who was born 9 weeks early. He had a month stay in NICU, has reflux and colic and is the lushest, snuggliest, most gorgeous little thing in the world. Yes, some days are hard. Yes, he can be clingy and want to feed from me constantly and Yes, nightimes can be hard but I've always been able to make the time to shower, tidy up and cook for the rest of the family. He's recently started sleeping more at night which helps. I'm so in love with the little terror.
Ask for help from your loved ones and don't be too hard on yourself in the early days. It will be fine

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences with me

I've always been around delightful babies of a very content nature so the MN forums of very difficult small babies is a big shock for me! I'm hoping my DC is okay, and I'll go with the flow and see what's what

Rosie No one is 'disadvantaging' their baby by formula feeding. What could be disadvantaging to Mother and Baby is putting so much pressure on BF, on feeling like a failure of a mother if things don't work quite as well. That to me is a disadvantage. Happy Mum, Happy Baby has a lot to be said for

I've had both a very easy baby (dc1) and a very difficult baby (Dc2). Never had any issues with showering or brushing teeth, fine they didn't always happen early in the morning, but they happened every day.

I had a lot of cold tea, with Dc2 and we seem to eat crap for the first few weeks.

It's a special time. Don't have high expectations. Spend time cosy on the sofa with your newborn and enjoy. Sod the housework, someone else can do that.

I appreciate its not like this for everyone but for me the newborn stage was a doddle. DS was a good baby and pretty much from the start would wake at midnightish then 4 for feeds then somewhere between 6 and 8 for the day. He was small enough to take anyway with no hassle. He did have pretty bad reflux, 3/4 of every feed would come back up but besides that it was a lovely time.
Now however at 2, well different story lol. My karma for having such an easy newborn lol.

You can shower. You just might have to leave them screaming a bit sometimes. Ive been pretty determined not to be smelly or live in a shithole but you have to lower your standards a bit.

It does depend on your child. My first wouldn't be put down for one second (hence 4 year gap) while I had friends who spent their mat leave baking.

My 2nd slept continously for 3 months. I could have done anything bar leave him home alone

I had an easy first baby. She fed well, slept well (but not through the night till 10 months), didn't really cry. It was still very tiring though and there were days I just stayed in pjs. You learn to adjust...its a very different life and I do still miss my life pre-children sometimes. Currently pregnant with no 2 and struggling whilst pregnant and looking forward to having a newborn!

Also for showering I just take her bouncer in the bathroom and she watches me shower

In my experience, if you expect it to be a bit shit, it's better than that.

If you expect it to be amazing and beautiful and a walk in the park, it's not.

I was pleasantly surprised and it's been pretty awesome.

I just wait until she sleeps in the morning and then shower (or get up before her as she sleeps late)...honestly, you work it out and find a way to meet your needs. If you're not worried about showering, you won't. If you are, you will. It's that simple.

Mine were very sleepy babies. The hardest stage was when eldest one started school and other was a toddler. Every little thing was so hard and that's when I struggled to do anything for myself for a while. An interrupted five minutes was a luxury.

I have had two incredibly easy newborns - slept through from day one, not a bit clingy, etc. I've certainly never missed a shower. Those of us who are so lucky don't like to go around "bragging" about it; it seems unkind. There are plenty who have a non-poo time with a newborn though (-;

I agree OP! I'm not due for months yet, but I've been reading far too much MN and it does make it sound like every single baby gets tongue tie, reflux, milk protein allergy and won't sleep longer than 30 min and even then only if held the whole time! But I'm guessing PP are right, and the main reason people post on MN is because they want help and support, not to gloat about how well it's going. So it's not going to be representative of the whole range of experiences at least that's what I tell myself when I'm shitting myself about the whole thing

I have a 15 month old DC and I can say categorically that I have showered/bathed and brushed my teeth every single day since they were born. Some days are tough. DC is breastfed so not in much of a routine. It's still a fairly loose one. My routine has changed with them - in the beginning I used to put the bouncer or carrycot in the bathroom and get ready whilst they slept. Now, I either get up before my husband has left for work, or set them up in their cot with some toys, or get ready whilst they nap, but it changes daily. I think you have to remember that people are more likely to moan/post on a forum if they need advice, and people do exaggerate. Plus there will always be a few who have genuinely had it tough, but I think they are few and far between! I've loved every stage for different reasons, and yes there are always difficulties but the good far outweighs the bad for me! Congratulations and good luck!

my oldest was a dream newborn and baby until she could walk then all hell broke loose. shes just been diagbosed autistic and is bloody hard work, however she is also so funny so kind so loving and just absolutly bonkers. she lights up ajy room she goes in and makes me the best version of myself.

my youngest soent his first months in and out of hospital, if very quiet and very gentle but so cuddly and loving. His face lights up when I or his sister enter a room.

Their dad fucked off 6 months ago, its hard but the highs far outweigh the lows

The seven months maternity leave were pretty much the happiest time of my life. Of course some bits were difficult, but DS was a fairly easy baby, very happy and content. I always cleaned my teeth and showers were possible as well. I even washed my hair regularly!

He was breast fed but slept midnight-7am, had a feed then slept again until a bit after 9am, until he hit four months when it went difficult for a bit! Mostly it was lovely though.

I'm due in November and at the minute every one just seems to be hitting me with negatives too particularly about breast feeding. Feeling very overwhelmed at times.

I've had one difficult, poorly one and one easy, one. With both I still managed to shower and wash my hair every day and get out and about most days.
I admit with my very poorly first I had some really bad days. But the good still very much outweighed the bad. You get used to the sleep deprivation.
With my second I was more relaxed and I stopped fighting co-sleeping which meant we both got more sleep.

bittyboo - with regards to breastfeeding. I have breastfed two babies. With one of them, it was the hardest most consuming thing I've ever done, with the other, it was an absolute breeze. Yes there were still the odd day they were having a growth spurt and wanted to feed for hours, but it was very very rare and the majority of the time, she'd only feed for 10 minutes every few hours and only the odd night feed. Don't listen to scare stories. Every baby is different. I find a "wait and see" approach is the way to go. I didn't even say for certain if I was going to BF or FF, I just went with the flow and ended up breastfeeding. Just do what feels right for you and your baby and you won't go far wrong.