To think that my DH is lazy at times

[ToughNorthernLass]

He roughly works around 3 days a week sometimes more depending on business and works shifts.

Sometimes I think he can be quite lazy. I'm a SAHM and I think he expects me to do everything all the time...when's my day off?

We have 2DS and he very rarely takes them out on his own as he wants me to come so I can basically look after the youngest who's quite hard work. He used to help sometimes with cleaning but now he'll just sod off to the gym and leave me with it all, we have a big house so it takes ages! Same when I have a massive pile load of ironing, he'll go to the gym and potter around doing his own thing whilst I'm ironing his bloody clothes. On a morning I'll get the DC ready and do their breakfast whilst he has a shower and sorts himself out. Another thing that pisses me off he will go off to the toilet with his iPad and he'll be gone 20mins or so and its usually when I'm packing away after dinner. He does cook sometimes though.

I wouldn't mind if he worked lots of hours but he doesn't.

AIBU to think he is quite lazy?

WHAT DOES HE DO IF YOU ASK HIM TO HELP????

@0100001 - I love you
OP - I give up

Thought I'd already answered this. He will sometimes help if I ask but I shouldn't need to ask.

Troll alert ffs

No. you shouldn't have to ask. However he clearly won't step up and do it on his own initiative.

Will he only sometimes help when you ask? What is his reason for not helping you every time you ask?

Or will he always help when you ask sometimes? Do you only sometimes ask for help, and then he does help you?

and you definitely hadn't answered the question of what he does when you ask for help.

(I double-checked every one of your posts, each time you posted without answering it)

no troll here - sozzles

"He spends his on call days in the gym, cutting the grass, having his hair cut or relaxing at home"

Surely the grass only needs doing 1 x 1hr a week and his hair 1hr every 4 weeks...max. is he genuinely spending all of his non-work time either at the gym or lounging around at home?

Does he really do NOTHING? never make the kids breakfast...gives them a bath... helps with homework... never cooks? never tidies up? never puts clothes away? never puts the kids to bed? never does the school run? never does DIY? never puts the bins out?

Is he really not 'helping' with housework/the kids/whatever or are if he helping but not as much as you'd like him to/think he should?

Is he not if he

Oh my word, I never said that he does nothing. This thread has really been blown out of proportion. Read the OP where I said that I would like him to help a bit more, especially with the DC.

I'm signing out now. God ol mighty wish I'd never bothered with this now.

Your OP says "He used to help sometimes with cleaning but now he'll just sod off to the gym and leave me with it "

That rather implies he does nothing. When pressed you said he cuts the grass, tiled the kids out rarely. So you are implying the only regular household jobs he does is cut the grass.

And then you took a long time to answer what happens when you do ask... Even then you only said he helps sometimes and haven't answered the follow up questions.

It's not my fault that we assumed he does nothing. When all we have to go on is the above.

We do actually want to help you. We all agree he should do more and you shouldn't have to ask. But clearly he hasn't learnt to read your mind yet, so you're going to have to tell him to help you.

It is important to know how he reacts when you do ask him for help. Hence the follow up questions.

So please let us help you!

When you say "he will sometimes help when I ask" do you mean that you ask him all the time and he will sometimes help? What are his reasons for not helping? Or is it that you only sometimes ask him for help, and he helps when you do actually ask?

I agree with the bulk of the replies on this thread about the cleaning not needing to take so long.

But what I really want to say is that I (and maybe it's just me and OP!) do my husband's ironing!!!

I HATE IRONING but it's something that I'm good at, DH is terrible at it and I don't have it in me to send him to work in a crumpled shirt.

That said, he does other jobs round the house to compensate so it seems like the OP has it tougher than me.