I've been thinking a lot about phobias and why it bothers me that there's a new law which could (theoretically) allow someone to access female "safe" spaces.
Some people argue that if someone did and assaulted someone, then they could be prosecuted. But I don't think it's even about fear of being raped or something for me. It's more nebulous than that.
It made me wonder if men-who-want-to-become-women can understand the massive unconscious sort of fear that women are generally programmed with from Day 1 without realising it?
I say that fully expecting some eye rolls and at least some people to say it doesn't affect them - but then I used to think I wasn't afraid and that men didn't affect me in the slightest, that it was pathetic and judgemental for anyone to be like that. And as I've gotten older I've realised that first, even the most confident of women usually have their limits (e.g. man walking steadily behind them on empty street).
Also, most are trained to adapt without even thinking about it, modifying body language and clothing and activities and so on without any conscious effort. I've noticed that women can get really awkward or less open when men are around, and change their behaviour, there's often a performance or judgemental element even if they'd deny it.
And finally, actually men can be pretty scary. I've always found them to be loud, even when just being cheery they can be alarming or jarring with the sheer volume. They're just so much stronger (even my non-muscly DH can pin me without trying), so no wonder they're statistically more physically dangerous than women. When drunk on buses or trains, or bad tempered, they can be physically terrifying. When they're in groups they seem to get especially riled up, though that's testosterone or an ancient hunter-gatherer instinct I don't know.
And yes of course the opposite is true too; women can walk threateningly and talk loudly and bully and hate and assault and do all terrible things too, and on the flip side some men are gentle and kind and loving and decent (and many in my daily life are).
Yet generally I'm more unconsciously relaxed around women in a way I wouldn't have realised if I hadn't really thought about it. I just haven't experienced as much negative stuff from them. I don't know if others are the same. Maybe this is all indicative of me and my childhood more than others.
But I just wonder if a man-born-and-grown-as-man can understand that innate momentary insecurity which comes from seeing a man (even a cleaner) wander through the women's toilets.
Maybe it does just come across as personal attacks to them?
(Oh god I've written another long post haven't I?)