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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ok WIBU at cinema?

139 replies

BrevilleTron · 28/07/2017 19:15

Went to Electric Cinema (as a treat) to see Dunkirk.
Lady next to us on the sofas was talking to her daughter throughout.
I asked "Could you be quiet please?"
Her "I'm trying to explain the historical importance to my daughter"
Me "Could you do it later I'm trying to watch?"

Silence

Then when the film ended I dashed to the loo and the woman said to her daughter " Very good film shame about that rude woman"
DP comes back with "She wasn't being rude YOU were being rude for talking!"

At which point I came back and caught the tail end and said "If you wish to impart information to your daughter please do it before or after. NOT during! And I do have a 16 yr old daughter and I'd say the same to her. It's not my fault you felt the need to educate your special snowflake during the film that everyone else had paid to watch" (disclaimer was 3/4 way down a bottle of white wine)

OK WIBU or was she rude?

OP posts:
reuset · 29/07/2017 12:36

Somebody usually does speak out and challenge the disruptive talkers, though. At least in my experience. Or they find a staff member to do it for them.

I've done it myself at the theatre. Not at all unbelievable that it happened at all.

Original poster
BrevilleTron · 29/07/2017 14:18

Not bothered what you think Corbyns
It wasn't an intentional drip feed that's just what she said when I came back from the loo.
Genuinely asking if I was BU and the answers given indicate that yes I partly was. So I've taken that on board.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrevilleTron · 29/07/2017 14:20

Yes apparently I had already upset the dd by asking her mum to be quiet. Oh well.

I won't be so harsh next time. It wasn't my intention to upset the dd.

I just wanted to watch the film.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 29/07/2017 14:21

I do think it would have been better to put the drip feed in at the start.

Original poster
BrevilleTron · 29/07/2017 14:24

Sorry sparkling it wasn't intentional. I had quaffed wine and my typing wasn't the best.

OP posts:
JoshLymanJr · 29/07/2017 14:51

I should add that if my mum was still alive, I'd have had to explain it to her. That would probably have annoyed modern audiences

Why couldn't you just wait to see it on TV and not ruin it for everyone else?

Fekko · 29/07/2017 15:02

My mum would had said 'eeeeee, those poor lads!' all the way through.

limitedperiodonly · 29/07/2017 15:03

It's okay Josh, she's dead now so no one's enjoyment was harmed during the screening of the film. Apart from mine, because I found it curiously unmoving.

hana32 · 29/07/2017 15:10

She was inconsiderate - but you were unnecessarily rude. "Special snowflake", really?

SapphireStrange · 29/07/2017 15:10

I'd have fucking applauded you, OP. Some people are so entitled about the cinema. If you've paid cinema prices (especially Electric prices!) to watch a film, you don't need some twat talking all the way through.

MaisyPops · 29/07/2017 15:17

YANBU!
She was being rude. If your kid is going to struggle with that type of film, explain before/after or wait for it to come out on DVD.
It's a cinema not a history lesson.

You shouldn't have called the child a snowflake but then if the woman had said that to me I'd probably have said something to the effect of 'I'm not speaking to or about your child. I am speaking to you. As a grown adult you should know basic manners means not yapping through a film.'

Elledouble · 29/07/2017 17:22

I don't know why people have this perception that the Electric is expensive Confused Surely the prices are pretty much the same as the Odeon, for example?

Gemini69 · 29/07/2017 17:28

Love this OP... LEGEND

limitedperiodonly · 29/07/2017 19:14

I got my two tickets for Vue, Regent Street, W1, for the equivalent of £5 in Nectar points. That's a nice cinema. Bloody glad I didn't pay full price, which would have been about £32. I got a £5 Pizza Express Nectar deal where we conducted a post mortem on the bloody dreary film.

People should never natter in the cinema but I can't believe the positive reviews Dunkirk has had

limitedperiodonly · 29/07/2017 19:44

Sorry, that's my beef about the film taking over. I found it extremely underwhelming.

Obviously people shouldn't annoy others in the cinema, and a running commentary through Dunkirk would have been inappropriate - though I wouldn't blame people for saying: 'Eh? What did he say?' during the brief bits of dialogue. People fucking mumble, except for the excellent Kenneth Branagh.

But I don't think there should be Trappist silence in cinemas in all screenings just because you've paid a lot of money. Yes, we've all had annoying experiences, but there are few things better than watching a film in a crowd. I love being in the dark with hundreds of other people when they laugh, cry, applaud or heckle. For me, it enhances the performance.

We all know what bad behaviour is, and I'm not condoning that. But if you can't cope with being amongst others, then just wait for the DVD.

MadMags · 30/07/2017 10:18

In the same token; if you can't watch it without offering the person with you a running commentary, wait for the DVD.

SheSaidHeSaid · 30/07/2017 10:21

YWNBU. Love your response too!!

SapphireStrange · 30/07/2017 11:20

limited, I agree there shouldn't be Trappist silence Grin in the cinema. Of course the shared laughter, crying, applause, gasps, shrieks etc is part of the fun.

Responding to the film in those ways is very different to someone just holding a conversation throughout it though.

I haven't seen Dunkirk. I don't think I'll rush to, going by your comments plus Chris Nolan's films are generally pompous and overrated

limitedperiodonly · 30/07/2017 19:29

No, I agree sapphire. People sometimes behave really badly. On the whole, I've been lucky though. A girl next to me was once defiantly texting with light and clicks because she'd rowed with her boyfriend over the choice of film. They looked rough, so I didn't dare say anything. I'm so grateful to the man in the row behind who tapped her on the shoulder and told her to pack it in. She told her boyfriend to stand up for her and he didn't say a word. I'm not surprised. I didn't look at the man, but from the size of his arm he was quite substantial Grin

That was 300 in 2006. And people did really get involved. I go to the pictures a lot, but like I said, I must be lucky. The worst thing I find is people who sit bolt upright in front of me, or worse, fidget, so I have to slalom round them to see. Damn you, man in front of me in Spectre.

Dunkirk is worth seeing as an event; and obviously lots of people like it, but like you, I'm not a fan of Christopher Nolan, and it is curiously unemotional. My friend and I expected to be in floods of tears and we not only didn't cry at all, we didn't care about any of the characters. It's a 12A so there aren't any violent deaths in it. It's not that I revel in blood and guts and wanted to see it, but in real life, when there is a direct hit on helpless people on a beach they do more than just fall over, and therefore I felt it was a cop out. Also, he made a big deal about not using CGI which meant there were a couple of big ships and about 10 Little Ships in the film. I know there were more because my dad was there and he told me.

Some scenes made me jump though and the aerial battles are done well and I liked the score.

That's all a bit too long and boring to fit on the poster Wink

limitedperiodonly · 30/07/2017 20:16

I take that back. I don't think it's all that and I don't understand the slavish admiration

IdentifiesAsYoda · 30/07/2017 20:27

Oh I take a zero tolerance approach in the cinema. It' costs a fortune but we go because it's not sitting in your front room talking and having your shoes off

I'm the one who's up first asking people to turn off their phone, or to be quiet. If you do it with a big cheesy grin, people are normally OK about it

Unless they are wankers

ManyManyShoes · 31/07/2017 05:15

YANBU and I wish people would tell.others to shut the fuck up. It seems in the cinema I went to nobody else bothers.

SapphireStrange · 31/07/2017 10:09

limited, I have also chickened out of telling people to shut up because I was scared of them. I'm such a wimp Grin I so admired my friend on one occasion who whipped round and told a couple of women in no uncertain terms to 'SHUT UP!!' I think she did it without giving herself time to think about it and wimp out. It worked anyway.

I'm going to experiment with Yoda's technique of doing it with a big grin. Interested to see how people will take that. I normally go for 'WOULD you please STOP that?' cat's-bum-face/schoolmarm mode.

IdentifiesAsYoda · 31/07/2017 11:23

Sapphire

I go as near to them as I can get, squat down and whisper kindly. It may sound counter-intuitive to put yourself in a vulnerable position, but I think if you go in arsey, it gives them an excuse to be aggressive back

NB I wouldn't want my DH or sons to do this...

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 12:07

I'm in no way advocating a running commentary, either in the cinema or my front room. I got the Dunkirk tickets on Nectar so they cost only £2.50 each. That doesn't mean someone can someone can spoil it for me.

I think a quickly whispered: 'He said such and such' to someone who's misheard it, is okay. But that's my standard. I'm not going to hold anyone else to it, but I find some views expressed on threads such as this to be unrealistic sometimes.

Being in the pictures is a public experience. It's not all about money. If you had lots of money you could have a private screening room in your house. If you are in the industry or have the right contacts, you could get the latest films before they've been released. I go to private screenings as part of my job - I don't have the money for a home cinema and I wouldn't build one even if I did.

For me, part of the cinema experience is being in a crowded auditorium. A lot of the problem is the attitude of the owners of multiplexes. They make a vast amount of money through massively overpriced snacks. So I'll walk past the queues for nachos and Haagen-Dazs and then be disturbed by people stumbling in late trying to find their seats. Yes, that's wrong of them, but they have been encouraged by the cinema because the management don't give people time warnings in the queues and they never stop latecomers blundering in to a screening that's already begun.

They also don't police anti social behaviour beyond an instruction before the film starts to switch off phones. If you're in the queue for popcorn, you'll undoubtedly miss that. I'm not saying you shouldn't think of that by yourself, I'm saying that cinemas pay lip service to etiquette while encouraging bad behaviour.

It's because they care more about their profits than your enjoyment of the film