AIBU to think it is really cheeky for dd's friends to put their undies in our wash basket

[NormaSmuff]

and i should refuse to do it/bin them?

All my kids have their own laundry baskets in their rooms even though I still do their laundry. It's far easier for multiple reasons.

No I'm not offended I just find the idea that as soon as a child hits 16 they should be doing their own everything. Fair enough it was your choice, so my comments don't even apply to you; it was more directed at parents who think their children are not part of their household because they are 16 (or whatever) now. We just live in a more 'together' house. But just to clarify, I wasn't directing my comments at teens who chose to do this, but parents who enforce it.

But yeah, certainly not offended, the whole thing just completely baffles me that's all

*odd

I don't think I would have a problem with it. My ds lent a friend a pair of pants after a sleepover. No problem. I think one of the few good things about the loss of privacy (due mainly to internet/social media) this current generation are experiencing is normalisation of normal things - everyone wears pants but many older people would hide them amongst other clothes if they had to do washing away from home. My kids aren't embarrassed about pants and I was rather happy the other day when I realised my ds was at ease with bras and crop tops rather than in the old days when boys considered them a bit more mysterious and something to be twanged

OP if you are so fastidious, germ conscious, squeamish, whatever, give DD a couple of those zipped net washing bags. Then any alien undercrackers can go through the wash without your having to touch them. You do have those big wooden laundry tongs, don't you?

The bags are good for keeping socks in pairs too!

Only weird thing is you still do your 17 yo washing

Why on earth is that weird? Do people cease being part of the family at 16/17

Do people who live in he same house really wash their clothes separately confused

Jesus mumsnet is one odd bastard of a place sometimes

Yes, I am finding it odd about all the comments about how Lazy the DD is!

Maybe she does sometimes put a wash in and on this occasion the OP startled the wash!

DS1 who is nearly 18 hardly ever does a clothes wash at home because several nights he stays at his girlfriends so when he does stay there is usually less than a handful of clothes to wash. I just put them through with everything else, so I still wash my son's clothes so critise me! call him a lazy, entitled sod because I put his clothes away ironed. I would add that he does hoover up a couple of times a week without any asking or promoting, gets shopping, again without asking. Gives me lifts when I need them etc.
Swings and roundabouts. I get a bit saddened when people seem to suggest that once a child is 16, 17, or 18 ( depending on the thread) the 'child' is expected to almost fly solo even though they are still living with the family. Bonkers!

I think i would actually be a bit cross if my DD's put dribs and drabs of their own washing in instead of making up more economical loads. We have a communal washing basket which everyone puts their stuff into and i like to be the one who manages it. If anyone wants something washed in a hurry they would ask if anyone had stuff to add to the load. I think at uni my DD and her friends sometimes share a load as the machines are big and it works out cheaper for them.

My DCs will put a wash on but I wish they wouldn't. They mix whites and darks, tumble dry stuff I prefer line dried, hang them on the wrong hangers or in weird ways. I could go on. I just bite the bullet and let them get on with it. It's the only way they will learn....unless I see them approaching the machine with a cashmere jumper. Then I step in!