To ask what age you consider to be socially acceptable to have a baby these days?!

[campino]

I'm currently pregnant with my first and from chatting with my 24yo sister today I was shocked when she told me how many of her school friends have had babies of their own already. Not a bad thing by any means but thought it'd be interesting hearing your opinions on what age it goes from "OMG 'X' is pregnant" to "how lovely 'X' is pregnant!"

Of course the main thing is whether you're a good parent or not, but the op is about the 'raised eyebrows' thing, and that happens if a woman is under 18 or over 42. Having a baby over 45 is almost a miracle!

AIBU to be secretly quite pleased to be judged socially unacceptable by some MNers

I am socially acceptable by my own standards, and that's all I give a fuck about, quite frankly.

I'm in your club, Floofy!

I had mine at 15 & 20, 15 was obviously young by anyone's standards, 20 for round here is still very young.

Im 28 now and my friends are just settling down and starting families, personally I'm glad I got past the sleepless nights stage when I did, at 19/20 I could have 3 hours sleep and feel fine. These days anything less than 7/8 hours makes me grouchy as hell.

*banana but you choose to live in London so you go with that flow.

There's a huge other country that also has child care costs and mortgage/rent to pay where it's stil perfectly normal to have babies at 20 something and still have professional careers.

London is not the template for the whole country even if Londoners think it is. 

It's unusual where I live to have bsby 1 at 41 but it's none else's business anyway*

Absolutely. I'm not saying London is like everywhere else

But it's not about pregnancy yoga and crystals that's why people have children later in life in the SE

It's entirely possible and normal to have a family and home and professional careers in your 20s in the rest of the country precisely because London isn't the template

But it's disingenuous to suggest it's because Londoners are special snowflakes that it's the norm to have children later in life

It's acceptable to have a child at any age

In the SE it's not the norm to have a child until late 20s at the younger end of the scale, because it's not financially within reach for most

I'm not complaining, those of us who live in the SE choose to do so and thus that absolutely has a knock on effect on ability to have a home and start a family

Simply responding to the suggestion it's because of pregnancy yoga and crystals that's it's the norm for Londoners to start a family in their 20s

Not a complaint, simply an explanation

I got pregnant with my first baby at 15 and my second at 18. They are 8 & 5 now. Not that it matters, but I am still with my partner 11 years later.

Obviously I was very young but I know of older people who are awful parents. Not all teenage parents are immature & irresponsible. Age is just a number - it doesn't determine what type of parent you will be.

Age is just a number - it doesn't determine what type of parent you will be

It's not just a number, and yes, it does have some affect on what type of parent you will be, unfortunately.

I think anything below 30 would raise an eyebrow in my social and work circle. Which is crazy.

I was 21 when I had my first and 23 for second. By the time I was 31 I was peri menopausal so I'm quite glad I didn't wait.

Many of my friends had their DCs in their 30s but I also have many friends who were teen mums. I think it's whatever is right for you and no one else's business really, I don't think the words 'socially acceptable' should come in to it.

Of course age matters. It does affect the type of parent you are. For example a girl getting pregnant whilst still at school isn't going to have any money behind her and will have to rely on others to pay for her child. She won't have enough life experience to guide a child as she is still a child herself. A very old mother will need her children to care for her while they are still young and will likely die sooner into their lives.

I'm sorry but there are some ages where it doesn't make much sense to have a child.

It's not just a number, and yes, it does have some affect on what type of parent you will be, unfortunately.

For some parents yes, but not all. The same as with any age. My children are happy, healthy & loved as they should be - my age does not come in to it.

I said SOME affect. For example if you are 15, you may be a loving parent but you are unable to provide for your child yourself, and that is part of parenting.
Of course it has an effect, how could it not?

I don't know anybody who has had a baby post forty.

Biologically and geographically this fact is not surprising to me.

As long as you have a stable relationship, stable home and adequate finances in place to provide for the child without relying on the state then age shouldn't matter. However, in reality most people are unlikely to be in that position until at least 25, probably more likely in their 30s, these days. Hence the age of the average first-time mother in the UK being over 30 now.

I was 21 when I had my first, 23 when I had my second and 25 when I had my 3rd.

Judge away! Even though you have no other information. Which is the problem with most people who have opinions. I think it just makes people feel better about themselves.

No, she doesn't. Reported.

I'll have had 4 in my twenties after I have this baby. I had my first at 20. I know thats relatively young but I can't imagine starting having kids in my thirties. That's time for me to enjoy watching them grow. But its each to their own. I don't think there really is an " acceptable" age.

I thought that said my roommates sister in law was 76! Was going to say, yep that's too old!

I was in the middle of my group of friends (se london) to have my first at 26. My friend who had a dd at 16 is an amazing parent. Her daughter is a teenager now and is very smart, polite, ambitious, caring and very emotiallly secure, which is the most important thing for children in my opinion.

At the other end, a friend is over 40 and considering a third. I have no doubt the child will be well looked after and loved like her other children.

I don't think I'd judge but tend to think 25-45 is a good age for a baby after having travelled or done other things for a bit. People settle down at different ages though, someone who didn't go to uni but for a job met someone by about 19/20 and bought a house at 22 getting pregnant is different to some at 22 at uni still
Living with parents and out six nights a week getting pregnant.
Most of my school friends have had their first babies in the last 18 months at 33/34 but I also know one person from school who had her first at 16 whose now 18 year old daughter just had her first baby.

I just had my first at 29, and was one of youngest in my antenatal class. Around here the average is mid 30's.

I might get flamed but I think it's very much class based .

I'm from a middle class background and had my first DC at 26. I was the first of my friends to have a baby and honestly felt like a teenage mum at times from other people's reactions.

I now have friends from a more diverse background and 20/21 is not considered especially young to have a baby in more working class circles.

I wass the youngest in my antenatal class, the youngest at the mother and toddler group and im the first of my friends to have a baby.

I met my dh at 17, married at 25, pregnant after wedding at 25 and first time mum at 26.

Yes, it's class-based. Because climbing the ladder towards a high powered job is not compatible with having a baby. There's a lot that needs to happen in society, in terms of maternity pay and better provision for childcare, before that changes. Having a kid straight out of school and skipping uni isn't optimal, and we don't benefit our kids by pretending it is. Get a good job, get a stable relationship, get your shit together, then have kids.