To ask what age you consider to be socially acceptable to have a baby these days?!

[campino]

I'm currently pregnant with my first and from chatting with my 24yo sister today I was shocked when she told me how many of her school friends have had babies of their own already. Not a bad thing by any means but thought it'd be interesting hearing your opinions on what age it goes from "OMG 'X' is pregnant" to "how lovely 'X' is pregnant!"

I agree it is class-based, and it's not just about careers.

I think middle class girls are more likely to be told they can do / be anything they want, and so are less likely to rush into a state of affairs that is, essentially, the rest of their lives.

You have all the time in the world for domesticity - the rest of your life, in fact.

But you only have your care-free 20s once.

Which means, traveling, having fun, going out, meeting people, making friends, having experiences, and yes, having a career.

All things most men take for granted. You don't see many teenage boys/men and young 20-something men rushing to have babies. There's too many other things to be doing first.

I am completely by the obsession with the age 25. An adult woman can surely have a baby at whatever age she chooses? I would probably be a bit surprised at much under 21 but that's a real adult right?

I had my first at 31 and move in circles where that is average. But I'm not so closed minded to think that it has to be the right and only way. Whatever works for the individual I reckon.

Yes, it's class-based. Because climbing the ladder towards a high powered job is not compatible with having a baby

I have worked with several successful women who had children young. You can do DC then build a career, it works for many. There is more than one way to skin a cat as the saying goes.

Imho it's not about age, it's about being in a stable, committed relationship and being able to provide financially for the child's needs.

Cause you can build a career with kids. We have 3 and still both work in careers. I do agree that I wouldn't have had children without property/marriage/career. You don't have to be older for all that though.

We do pay 800 a month for a nanny for the 3 of them though. I prefer this now we have more children ae the nanny does things that childcare settings don't.

Yes, it's class-based. Because climbing the ladder towards a high powered job is not compatible with having a baby.

Lol 😂

It's perfectly possible to have kids & still further your career.
Funny how men everywhere seem to manage it!!

I remember in my very early twenties a friend at work revealed she was pregnant and I said, 'oh no what are you going to do,' and she was furious that I hadn't said congratulations I didn't know we'd grown up enough for that!

Exactly Faith

Well, I had my first at 40 and will be at the tail end of 44 when DD2 arrives (all being well).

I wonder what exactly it is people are 'raising their eyebrows' at?

It's perfectly possible to have kids & still further your career.

Not for everyone... So many factors affect whether this is possible. Your dh or dp support or lack of, childcare, family support, earning potential etc

Funny how men everywhere seem to manage it!!

Mainly because women pick up the slack at home.

I wasn't actually an adult until I was 30. So I couldn't imagine being a mother before then. My friends were similar - mainly party animals. So had any of us found ourselves pregnant it would also have been 'oh no' not 'congratulations'.

After that we started to settle down and DC felt right.

Don't do it! Get a cleaner

If the cost of living wasn't so cripplingly high (housing being a huge factor as well as childcare) people wouldn't wait so long to have kids. I've spent time in Norway and Denmark and it's quite ordinary for educated, career-minded people there to have kids in their mid-late 20s. With subsidised childcare, generous leave and flexible working, people don't treat parenthood as some massive upcoming disaster to shore up against. Each to their own, but it's a bit depressing to have a society set up make it so difficult for young people to have kids.

I was 29 when I had my DS (I'm 30 now) and in all honesty, I still feel quite young in terms of having a baby. I own a house, I have been with my DP for 6 years (not married though) enough money, I think it's just my age I don't know why, as ridiculous as that sounds.

I think more people are having their first child in their 30's now and even though I know I'm not that young, I still feel a lot younger than the majority when I go to play group.

It could just be where I live though.

Yes, it's class-based. Because climbing the ladder towards a high powered job is not compatible with having a baby

Definitely true in my industry. You have to be of a certain level of seniority to have the authority to insist the business works around your needs if you have childcare commitments

At a senior level you can set the terms and say that you have to leave at 5.30pm every day to do pick-up, and colleagues have to arrange meetings etc around your schedule - at a more junior level you just can't be that inflexible

In my circle the standard age for first pregnancies was 28-35. However, I'm surprised that a 23 or 24 year old in a stable relationship would illicit an OMG from many on here, rather than a Congrats. It's hardly that young. And not everyone wants to party all weekend and travel a few times a year. I did, but I accepted that others didn't.

I'd say 23-43 but I'd still slightly raise an eyebrow anywhere outside of 26-40.

Why do we have to judge others so much? Surely what matters is that you are happy and able to parent well?

Around 30. I was 30 (nearly 31) for my first and 37 for my last. I'm nearly 40 and feel too old for any more. Although I'm not menopausal so always a possibility. I felt much older by 37 and more tired etc but that was possibly the relentless years of childcare in the interim.

At 30 I felt I had time to be me, travel, stay out late etc etc. I think if I had had a child much earlier I would have felt resentful. But it is a personal thing.

I agree 25-45 seems to be the "normal" range nowadays but I know plenty of people who had them younger and were great Mums. One girl had her daughter when she was about 14 or 15 and has done a wonderful job of bringing her up with a lot of family support. She has recently got married and had another child (she is now 29). They are a lovely family.

Funny how men everywhere seem to manage it!!

There's a very good reason for that - not many women have wives at home, ready to pick up the slack for free!

It's definitely a personal thing, people feel ready at different ages. For me I started going to raves/clubbing at 14/15, I went travelling in my early 20s. By the time I was 25 I was bored of that.

I had a mortgage and was married at 25, 26 didn't seem old at all to have my first.

I know people my age (31) who are happy going out every weekend, travelling and playing video games in there spare time (while having a decent professional job) and they wouldn't want children now. For them, having kids in 4 or 5 years will suit.

I can't be the only one who has grown up with 25+ being an older age to have your first DC?

If you're in your mid/late twenties, with your first DC, it's actually not as common... Not to mention being in your 30s or later!

And no, I'm not from a deprived area.