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AIBU?

To ask what age you consider to be socially acceptable to have a baby these days?!

258 replies

campino · 26/07/2017 22:50

I'm currently pregnant with my first and from chatting with my 24yo sister today I was shocked when she told me how many of her school friends have had babies of their own already. Not a bad thing by any means but thought it'd be interesting hearing your opinions on what age it goes from "OMG 'X' is pregnant" to "how lovely 'X' is pregnant!"

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IcingSausage · 26/07/2017 23:03

I don't think of it as an age thing so much as an individual/personality thing. My sister had a baby at 18 and was/still is, a wonderful mum.

A friend I've know since primary school who's now 34 just announced she's pregnant and my reaction was 'OMG X IS PREGNANT'. She's just not someone I can imagine with a baby. But I'm sure she'll be great in reality.

itstoolateforthisbollox · 26/07/2017 23:05

its not my business but personally I think younger than 25 and older than 45 are mad to do it.

rollonthesummer · 26/07/2017 23:06

I was 25 when I had my first, I can't imagine anyone thought that was particularly young?!

missiondecision · 26/07/2017 23:08

It's a myob issue and I would not voice it to anyone but, younger than 25 older than 45 I'd raise an eyebrow.

SerfTerf · 26/07/2017 23:09

You were shocked that some 24 year olds had babies? Because you have some sense that that's not "socially acceptable"? Is that what you mean?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/07/2017 23:10

I also think 25-45 and outside of that might be socially unacceptable. I'm in the middle so grateful that my parents were 22 and are young GPs.

Titsywoo · 26/07/2017 23:12

I was the youngest in my antenatal group, all the mother and baby groups then of the mums in dds class at school. I had her at 25. Maybe it depends where you live but nearer to 30 is more typical nowadays.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 26/07/2017 23:12

I had my first at 23 and I am a perfectly socially acceptable person thank you. It's down to a person's situation at the time. Is not acceptable to have a child if you are hooked on heroin whether you are 16 or 36 for example.

MumsOnCrack · 26/07/2017 23:14

I was 35 - don't judge anyone - least of all my friend who had DS at 18. Live and let live. 💕

missymayhemsmum · 26/07/2017 23:14

it depends. Round here most of the kids will be at Nana's 40th birthday party. In polite, middle class john lewis shopping circles 30-35 is customary. It also depends on circumstances, surely. A wedding is generally regarded as notice that you intend to procreate forthwith, announcing pregnancy without having permanent relationship/home/income sorted assumed to be unexpected/ problematic at any age.

MelinaMercury · 26/07/2017 23:14

I had a kid in school by the time I was your sisters age, he's a bit odd but generally alive and thriving well :o

In my hometown it's almost normal to have a baby (or 2) by 18 but where I live now it's probably more accepted around 21.

Personally I'd rather my kids waited until 25+ but if the parents are responsible and willing to put their kids wellbeing first then I don't think it matters.

80sMum · 26/07/2017 23:14

Gosh, is younger than 25 unacceptable? I had had 3 children before I was 25 and a 4th before I was 26. I married at 20.

SerfTerf · 26/07/2017 23:14

I'm really confused what you all mean by "socially acceptable". What do you do when a 22yo or a 47yo has a baby? Shun them?

elQuintoConyo · 26/07/2017 23:14

Between 17-50.

I have know fantastic parents at both ends of the spectrum. Fantastic parents. Not just mothers.

ThinkOfTheHorses · 26/07/2017 23:15

I think normal is 24-40 but I know many 15-22 year olds with children

BunnyBardot · 26/07/2017 23:35

In my area, 32-45.

ElizabethShaw · 26/07/2017 23:37

I'd say 20-40 is the norm.

AtSea1979 · 26/07/2017 23:39

To say OMG rather than congrats. Probably younger than 16 and older than 50

Brokenbiscuit · 26/07/2017 23:40

I'd say around 25-45 too.

KentMum2008 · 26/07/2017 23:40

I had my DCs at 20 and 22. Where I lived in London I was in the minority, but where I moved to in Kent I was one of the older mums!

TartanDMs · 26/07/2017 23:41

I had DS at 21. I was an older mum at his first primary school and a younger mum at the second primary. At secondary it's a mixed bag but it's a deprived area, lots of teenage mums.

3wayburger · 26/07/2017 23:41

Had my Dds at 19 and 24

BackforGood · 26/07/2017 23:42

It's more about 'stage' than 'age'.
If you left school and went to work at 16, or 18, you are at a different stage of your life aged 20/21 from your peers who are at University at that age.
If you are in a steady relationship and have been living with your partner for some years, you are in a differnt 'stage' from someone (who could be years older) who met their partner 2 months ago, or, who might have been seeing each other for a while but who live apart.

etc.

etc.

Notinyournelly · 26/07/2017 23:44

You need to be pretty fit having kids at 45.
I've got three and they wear me out.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 26/07/2017 23:44

I had my first at 27. I felt like I was extremely young to be having a baby!

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