To ask what age you consider to be socially acceptable to have a baby these days?!

[campino]

I'm currently pregnant with my first and from chatting with my 24yo sister today I was shocked when she told me how many of her school friends have had babies of their own already. Not a bad thing by any means but thought it'd be interesting hearing your opinions on what age it goes from "OMG 'X' is pregnant" to "how lovely 'X' is pregnant!"

Ostensibly 25-45....

However, I think 25 is incredibly young to have kids - I know it's not, but I don't know anyone who had DC anywhere near that young.

I also think 45 is really pushing it, even 40 is knocking on a bit. I was 35 and 36 myself, so not young at all.

Obviously these are 'inside my bead thoughts', I'd never voice them in real life, and if I met you and you'd had DC outside those age ranges, is no doubt think you were lovely and well able.

No definitely the sexism new

Can't you follow the implications of your own posts?

These single people becoming parents who you're so much more judgmental of than the couples...what do you imagine the vast majority of them look like?

Took my dd for her second cervical cancer jab this week. She had to be asked if she could be pregnant. My face was this . She hasn't even started her period. The nurse said sorry they have to ask. Which is absolutely fine. She said I'd be surprised these days.

Among my friends/family/acquaintance, I'd say 27 +. Couple of school friends had them at 16, quite shocking, a friend while at uni age 20, and then one or two in early/mid 20s. I think 30-35 is the average....but we haven't come out the other end into our 40s yet so harder to comment on an average upper limit.

Of course there's nothing wrong with having a baby at any age, it depends on the person and especially the couple. But it is interesting to see what is average among different groups/people.

I was in my thirties when I had mine, and at my antenatal groups that certainly seemed the average age. I know very few people who were in their 20s when they had children so that seems young. Having said that though, now I'm in menopause in my early 40s, I'd advise my DDs to have children younger if they can/want to. I had no idea before my first DC at 31 that early menopause runs in my family.

I think the socially acceptable age to become pregnant varies according to which country you live in, your culture and your socioeconomic status.
I used to live in SW London and the women living on the local council estates had babies young. I would say 18-22 was standard.
In my social circle in SW London which was university-educated middle class professionals it was more like 29-34. However my friends in Ireland who were also university-educated middle class professionals had their babies a bit younger, like 25, 26 was standard for a first pregnancy.
I am not passing any judgement. Just commenting on what I saw.

Groupie123 it definitely applies to men. Children are a lifelong commitment and IMO 2 parents are better than one. So if two people can commit to each other for life than I 'expect' that they will be 'more likely' to be capable of handling the sacrifices and commitment of children especially those sacrifices and commitments that being younger or older parents bring.

I'd stop posting new. You're embarrassing yourself. Why do you want everyone to know you're so hard of thinking?

I don't know why people think you can't support yourself financially under 25 🙈 I qualified as a nurse at 21!

I had two before I was 25.
I feel sorry for the people who have the energy to get so wound up about that. It must be so exhausting.

To me it's when they're in a good position to be able to provide for a baby. That could be any age.

I had ds at 20. Probably quite usual here. But then I'd worked full time since 16, owned my own house and been with his dad 4 years by then. It's not the age that makes you an acceptable or unacceptable mother it's more the circumstances surely? And even then so many people overcome difficult circumstances and become fantastic parents anyway.

Amazed people think 24 is young to have a baby! What world do you live in.

We had our first at 21 and last at 36 and our regret would be not having all 4 in our early 20s.

You are fitter and then yojng enough to enjoy and identify with the teenage years.

I think having first babies 40 + must be incredibly hard.

However each to own and my 'shock' ages would be under 16 and over 50.

Anyone happy to be pregnant that's great despite age

steeley me too. House at 22 although that was in the good old 80s with 90% mortgage and a deposit of £700. Whole other debate.

Same topic but slightly different question, what would you think to your DS dating a teenage mum.

I had DS at 22. I don't think of anything being "socially acceptable", it's what's right for you as a person. Of course having children older may mean that you're more financially secure but I think having kids is hard work at any age.

For me personally, I wouldn't have any children at the age of 35+. I just don't want to be 50 years old and still doing school runs, etc. That's just personal preference though, I'm not "shocked" by people that do.

Can't believe people would be shocked if under 25 - I don't think anyone was shocked in my case.

Same topic but slightly different question, what would you think to your DS dating a teenage mum

Why? So you can ramp the judginess up to a whole other level?

You realise that there will be teenage mums and former single mums reading this?

This thread It reads like "let's all froth for the sake of frothing". Bad even by MN standards.

If someone has a specific dilemma, then fine, but this is just unpleasant.

I'm 23 and 31 weeks pregnant and this thread made me feel like a pile of shit. Maybe it's the hormones!

Oh ignore it jitter. It's just weird competitive pearl clutching.

Special spot prize to lapin for slipping "council estate" in, though 🙄

30 plus in London because of the cost of living.
Under 25 and I do double-take these days and assume someone is a bit rubbish with contraception but I see that is very prejudiced of me!

Jitter - I'm 40 weeks pregnant and 23. Don't let em get you down

Steeley and waitforit you're not unusual but you're definitely ahead of the curve.

Steeley you took a vocational degree and essentially started your stable career at 18. And wait property ownership is no joke.

So what's more important than your financial status is the implication that you are at a life stage/maturity/stability that most people won't reach until much later on.

I imagine that if people are prejudice towards either of you then your professional and financial status would override your age when thinking about 'social acceptability'. I also imagine you've both heard the phrase "ohh, I thought you were older"

NB. Nice humble brags about your profession and wealth

My sister had her first at 25 - I was 27 and it seemed normal to me. Her DD (my niece) had her first at 25 and she seemed WAY too young.