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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man in ladies toilets

662 replies

ItsAHardKn0ckLife · 26/07/2017 10:23

Okay I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable here, husband works away, have an unwell toddler and I'm a little sleep deprived. So not sure if emotions are getting the better of me.

Popped into our local M&S, DS (2yo) in tow. Needed to use the toilet before shopping. Walk into the ladies (small bathroom, only 2 cubicles) to an older man and woman (late 60's at a guess) changing a babies nappy. I stopped in my tracks, confused, checked I'd definitely walked into the right toilets.
I said "you are aware this is the ladies?"
"Yes" the woman replied, "have you got a problem?"
"Erm, well yes actually I have"
Cue lots of tutting and huffing and puffing whilst I waited patiently for him to leave.
On their way out of the door I was told I was being "absolutely ridiculous" and "totally unreasonable".
In hindsight I probably should have ignored, but I was feeling pretty pissed off so I went to inform a member of staff.
The couple were standing near me and they were shouting that I'm a hypocrite as I took my DS in there with me. Again repeating that I was unreasonable etc and what did I expect them to do? They then walked off.

I ended up crying Blush

The staff were lovely and offered me a very nice cup of tea. I apologised for being an emotional wreck and causing drama.

So was I wrong for being unhappy about this? Would you have said something or just turned a blind eye to him being in there?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 26/07/2017 16:05

Maybe if they find nappy changing such a struggle, they should re-think where they go with the child

Yes grandparents must refrain from taking a baby to M&S. Hmm

DeleteOrDecay · 26/07/2017 16:06

If they can't change a nappy without both of them present, and there are no unisex changing facilities then yes, they should.

Sparklingbrook · 26/07/2017 16:08

Anywhere else DeleteorDecay? Confused

JessieMcJessie · 26/07/2017 16:08

The phrase "Who cares?" Is being taken somewhat literally here....Hmm

For the avoidance of doubt it was used in the sense of "I personally think that caring about this is a load of nonsense". I wasn't doing a survey.

DeleteOrDecay · 26/07/2017 16:09

Well either he learns or he stays out women's toilets. He doesn't get a free pass cos he can't he arsed to do it.

Exactly, it's not hard to learn to change a nappy many new parents manage it every day.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 26/07/2017 16:10

There are usually plenty of places where both of them coukd have changed the baby with out going to the ladies

And many of us have said that if he had been a bit apologetic then there would probably be no problem

And Shock at the idea that a grandparent cant be aggressive or abusive...

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/07/2017 16:10

Men being too stupid to do something simple or too lazy to learn seems to be an acceptable excuse to inconvenience or upset everybody else on MN these days.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/07/2017 16:11

That was @Delete

Spikeyball · 26/07/2017 16:12

Yes let's keep those who struggle/cannot do things on their own away from some places.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/07/2017 16:12

They got to m&s didn't they probably involving strapping onto car seats and collapsing a night but yes no clue about nappies Hmm

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/07/2017 16:12

Collapsing a buggy.

DeleteOrDecay · 26/07/2017 16:12

Quite a few places these days have family rooms with changing facilities. My local Asda and Tesco both do as well as other places that aren't supermarkets. Failing that make other arrangements, change baby in the car if you have one (I've had to do this many times, sometimes needs must!). Not being able to change a nappy alone doesn't mean a man can just walk into the ladies and have a go at anyone who questions it.

Sparklingbrook · 26/07/2017 16:13

Nobody even knows how they got to M&S did they? They may even have walked...

Sparklingbrook · 26/07/2017 16:15

This thread has now run into 8 pages. The OP has posted 3 times. Hopefully they will come back and fill in the gaps.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 26/07/2017 16:16

What gaps sparkling ?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 26/07/2017 16:17

If i was the OP I wouldn't come back on here

People have been quite harsh

Sparklingbrook · 26/07/2017 16:17

Some more information...

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 26/07/2017 16:18

Well i get that lovely..

But i dont know what other information would help

User843022 · 26/07/2017 16:21

'Yes let's keep those who struggle/cannot do things on their own away from some places.'
Yes let those pesky grandparents know they must never ever bend the rules slightly to ensure their dgc is clean and dry lest they bump into a mumsnetter with a cat bums face.

rosyvalentine · 26/07/2017 16:24

GrinMyrtle

Sparklingbrook · 26/07/2017 16:25

Well there is a lot of 'maybe this' maybe that' going on on this thread, much reading between the lines trying to second guess what actually happened and why. Only the OP was there so they could confirm or dismiss people's questions perhaps.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/07/2017 16:25

Well if it's ok to bend the rules then it's ok to use the men's then no?

We've already had a man say they wouldn't like that either and no ones calling him hysterical or saying yes preventing people from going out?

Spikeyball · 26/07/2017 16:27

It's one thing saying you think he shouldn't have been in the women's toilet. It's another saying that people who need help, shouldn't go to places.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 26/07/2017 16:28

True sparkling very true

but i woukd be hiding, i have seen OPs come back and still get slammed Smile

Sparklingbrook · 26/07/2017 16:30

This is AIBU. A thread about a man in the ladies loos. It was always going to be divisive to say the least.

Swipe left for the next trending thread