To think that I don't have to style my hair every day for dp!

[toughasnailz]

I've come back after work where I wore a cap as had been swimming with my mindees!

Dp as usual when my hair isn't styled non stop complained about it to me since the minute I walked in the door. Now, I do style my hair, but with the young kids, there just wasn't time after swimming and there were more important things to do.

This happens any day of the week and tonight I've just had enough of it and told him that I couldn't be bothered to listen to him any more! I've said that it's ridiculous that I get all his grief on how my hair is and that I can't just not to it any day of the week, even Sundays! Because of him!

I'm usually a very quiet person, but ffs, I'm tired, and I'm trying to cook our meal and leave me alone!!

My aibu is that this is very out of character for me, was I being unreasonable to be so rude to him?

For OP and anyone else in a similar situation - how would he cope with your appearance if you had (like a previous poster) chemo and lost your hair? If you had a disfiguring accident, suffered permanent scars or lost part of your facial features in some way?

What upsets me so much about situations like these is that what is happening is a woman's mental health / self worth is being chipped away at tiny piece by tiny piece everyday. Looking at the specifics of one conversation, the woman says to herself it's silly, it's no big deal.

Please take a step back - this needs to stop. If he keeps chipping away for years there will be nothing left of you.

Please have a think about all these sorts of comments etc. These will have had a huge impact on you over years

You are perfect - hair, face, everything. It's bad enough to have to tolerate the media's onslaught in a woman's appearance. You don't need this shit in your home and in your main relationship.

Please, please find a way to address this situation as a whole, not the individual instances.

All the best xxx

Bloody hell. Had a quick shower today without washing hair, as I went out to walk someone's dog in the rain and knew I'd get wet.

Got back and has quick shower, couldn't be bothered to wash hair (was washed y'day) so it's still up in scraggy bun-ish thing. No makeup, was a bit mortified when friend unexpectedly knocked on the door (she lived abroad but was in quick local visit) as I would have like to have had a bit of lipstick on!

But DH mentioning hair styling. Tell him to bugger off.

He wants you dolled up ALL THE TIME!

An ex-bf tried this lark on me once, apparently getting changed into comfy clothes when i got home after work was 'lazy' and 'scruffy'

Apparently by refusing to be dolled up in front of him all the time was me 'not making an effort'!

Does HE get all smartened up and look perfectly groomed and polished all the time for you?

I'd be tempted to tell him that
You don't "style" yourself for him and he is mistaken if he thinks you have any fucks to give what he thinks about your hair.