To think that I don't have to style my hair every day for dp!

[toughasnailz]

I've come back after work where I wore a cap as had been swimming with my mindees!

Dp as usual when my hair isn't styled non stop complained about it to me since the minute I walked in the door. Now, I do style my hair, but with the young kids, there just wasn't time after swimming and there were more important things to do.

This happens any day of the week and tonight I've just had enough of it and told him that I couldn't be bothered to listen to him any more! I've said that it's ridiculous that I get all his grief on how my hair is and that I can't just not to it any day of the week, even Sundays! Because of him!

I'm usually a very quiet person, but ffs, I'm tired, and I'm trying to cook our meal and leave me alone!!

My aibu is that this is very out of character for me, was I being unreasonable to be so rude to him?

I'm not sure I've ever styled my hair... and DP never comments

My DH likes my hair loose and curled. Which I do too, but it takes around an hour to do so it's for special occasions only! 99% of the time it's tied back in a ponytail or up with a clip. He always comments when I've made the effort that my hair looks nice, but never ever in a million years would he ask or tell me to do it. That's really weird and I wouldn't like it at all.

My hair is rarely styled by the end of the day. Ok, or the beginning of the day. There's probably a balance, but it's not on for an adult to make such demands.

Oh, I didn't read the whole thread. So op works fulltime? And her "d"p does not contribute anything at all, besides hurtful comments?

Well, that makes it much easier to leave, doesn't it?

My DP is lucky if I brush my hair some days! If I don't want to wear make up or do my hair that's my choice... to be honest the only time he comments on my appearance is if I'm done up to go out and he will give me a compliment.

That's really odd of him to be fixating on how you wear your hair. Is he controlling with other things re. your appearance like make-up and clothes? And why is majority of childcare and housework left to you?

Well I look like Yahoo Serious most days and I've been happily married for almost 25yrs. It wouldn't have been 25 days if my DH had ever said anything so controlling. Tell him to eff off.

That's very weird, hair make up, it's weird. The most i will get is the occasional, what you getting all done up for, or if he knows why, oh you look nice. I genuinely can't imagine him telling me to do my hair or make up. I honestly would look at him like bats had just flown out his ass, before laughingly telling him to fuck off as I'd think it was a joke.

Does it not make you feel insecure? I think if someone was constantly telling me to fix my hair or put on make up, I'd eventually feel a bit insecure.

What would he say if you commented on, for example, his clothes "looking crumpled and scruffy" when he got in from work? Or if you said (as soon as he walked in through the door) "Hmmm, your face looks very sweaty from the commute - when are you going to sort that out?"

Oh that's right, no-one in their right mind would say that to their partner, at any time let alone at the end of a busy day.

My DP doesn't notice when I do my hair YADNBU OP!

@gamerchick I have enough anger about it now that I would literally just shave big chunks out of it to make the point

I now have a picture in my head of a had enough woman holding a head shaver aloft getting the fucker told.

He needs a good snarling at by the sounds of it.

tell him it's your hair and you style it for your own satisfaction not his, so his opinion is irrelevant.

@Bluntness100 oh he has made me feel very insecure, now he complains I don't talk that much!

@gamerchick That's exactly how it would be! I'm so angry about it all!

I swear I will scream, if you come back on here and say, "but he's a brilliant dad and he's got really good points too". He's so like my ex this actually gives me the shivers. Get rid of the bastard, before he starts damaging your daughter and she grows up feeling like shit.

"Dp as usual when my hair isn't styled non stop complained about it to me since the minute I walked in the door."

What business is it of his what you do or don't do with your hair? (serious question).

All of your posts are making me realise more and more what his game is, I'm getting so angry thinking that he's not appreciative of me and I want the way your men treat you to be the way he treats me. Probably won't happen though,

I'm so angry about it all!

So what's the plan of action to sort it out?

@PovertyPain I wish I could say that. He thinks he raises ds 50% because he is the higher earner, he earns 3x what I earn! We have some behavioural issues with ds when dp is around! He plays up and seems to be wanting his attention, dp does talk to him but there's never any play unless it's a few sparring matches (ds does Tae Kwon Do) and that's twindled to maybe 1 a week

Btw, op, think of the way he has managed to make you feel about yourself and you're an adult. Can you imagine how your tiny daughter will feel having to grow up listening to and being judged by this sexist, bullying shit?

Lol he wouldn't last long with me - my hair is generally ragged on my head. Shave your head and they'll him if he prefers that? ( or wear a bald cap lol) .... what about his hair ?

He sounds like a twat. Tell him to get to fuck.

My idea of styling my hair is to just wash and brush it. Plenty of times I even go out with it still wet. I don't do make-up either. As far as I can tell DH doesn't even notice.

Sorry, op, I misread as daughter. Can't find my glasses. 😳 Though I still stand by what I say. He will have an horrendous effect on your child.

This is not about hair, is it?