To wish the world was more autism friendly?

[Tobythecat]

I wish for the following -

• dimmed lighting in all supermarkets shops and offices

-neutral packaging with no patterns in shops and supermarkets

• every road or busy side road to have a crossing
• Easily read signs to helps with finding your way around
• Phone calls not allowed on public transport unless an emergency
• No loud chatting on the bus and giggling like a banshee

-Autism-friendly jobs (perhaps linked to individuals special interest)

• Autism rooms in shops/supermarkets to retreat to if feeling overwhelmed

-No music in shops -Loud people must be fitted with a volume control device, and if they exceed the limit, they get hit on the head

• People who beep their car horns to greet friends on the street/road should have their horn removed and wear a t-shirt that says I am a twat.

Feel free to add your own!

And in the real world........

Your "real world" may well be NT, mine and that of my kids isn't.

Maybe my requests were a bit unrealistic, but what's the harm in wishing? Obviously I won't be hitting loud people over the head, you fool

Lidl dont play any music at all (my local ones do, I'm assuming others do too?), it was weird at first but now I love the mental break from being blasted with muzak.

Also there must be a middle ground between dim and ultra bright the supermarkets have?

Obviously I won't be hitting loud people over the head,

The supermarkets that have the worst lighting are Aldi, Tesco and Asda. Sainsburys is a lot easier to deal with.

Home bargains/b&m is just cruel, way too harsh lighting and about 10000 brightly coloured patterned objects. I get really bad derealisation in there

Free ear muffs given out in particularly loud films thinks about Dunkirk
And more Autism friendly screenings, released at the same time as the film, not 6 months after!!!

I'd like some parents to realise that adults can have additional needs too.

I've lost count of the times that someone has had a go at me for flinching when a young child shrieks. I have no issue with them being there, I just can't control my reaction to the noise (and usually end up leaving)

I'd also like different types of autism-friendly events (and more of them); at the moment there really aren't many and those that there are seem to mainly cater for a set of needs I can't cope with.

Mainly, though, I'd just like people to be kinder and more tolerant.

I agree

Definitely with the tolerance.
WRT lighting daylight style is generally better tolerated than yellow light. LED would be better than flickering, buzzing strip lights. I don't think either of those specs would affect other needs?

I also flinch when young kids scream. I can't help it. I spent a lot of time when mine were small with my hearing aids out. It doesn't mean that I think the kids shouldn't be there or should be 'made' to stop it (and chances of anyone making that happen are as likely as stopping the tide) it's a physiological reaction - I can't help it. I know they can't help it either... but the filthy looks I get aren't nice. It's another tolerance one.

Honestly, I would be happy with mental health professionals that gave a shit at this point.

And the plan thing somebody else mentioned, yes.

Obviously I won't be hitting loud people over the head, you fool grin

That's a relief, DS1 is safe
It'd be easier to hand out ear muffs to passers by than it is to get him to be quiet.

I would like complete silence apart from organic sounds, and nobody within three feet of me in any direction.

And drivers obeying the Highway Code!

I wish other children wouldn't stare at ds (8) and exchange smirky glances / grins or whisper to each other when they see that he is excited, jumping up and down, flapping his hands; or when he comes out with one of his 'interesting facts' to announce to all and sundry. It pains me to observe this sort of thing when he is at sports clubs, etc. I know that kids can't help it, but sometimes I sometimes think more parents need to educate their children about tolerating others and their differences. Thankfully I don't think ds notices unless they have been directly unkind to him. I also wish that I didn't feel worried about what other adults think about ds behaviour in public - it's generally very good, but he can have meltdowns at times and he also speaks to adults in a very grown up fashion - some really don't know how to take him, I can see it in their faces. I guess I just wish that the world was more tolerant in general.

I'd like no people anywhere, if we're talking wishlists. I explained to my CPN who was getting to the root of why I'm afraid to go outside and when she asked what I was most afraid of, my response was "people".

'Id like an extendable safety harness for DS. Like one of those extendable dog leads.

Erm... I've done this with our autistic son when he was 2-4 years old. Reins, with an extending lead attached to them. It worked!

I think supermarkets should have quiet hours, but should also have other disability friendly hours when noise is acceptable. Our autistic son has an auditory stim, he has to be listening to music (child's toy) but hates headphones. So he'd annoy all the autistic children who prefer silence ...

This is the real world for nearly everyone else on this post.

Ds hates shopping at Asda but will tolerate tesco. It took me a while to realise that Tesco don't have loud music and their aisles are much wider than those in Asda (local comparisons anyway!) so it makes it more bareable.

This is the real world for nearly everyone else on this post.

^^this!

Can we really not just have a little corner were we can share, in a lighthearted way, how bloody difficult everyday things can be when you have Autism.

If reading this thread is making you feel confused or hmm then I suggest you try having a little empathy.

Tolerance, definitely, not just in society for day-to-day things but within the professionals that we and our dc have to deal with so frequently.
Often, one of them doesn't 'get' a particular aspect of autism and challenges it, thereby disrupting someone's life.

I would ban the phrase and thump whoever said "X has no problem with that, X could do it if only X tried harder" because X is already trying several times harder than an NT peer.

blankface in a similar way I would ban the phrase "X needs to learn to do Y". Used to stress me out because I was dealing with, well what if X can't learn to do Y. I preferred the attitude "X can already do A, the next step from that is to try to learn B". Enough of those little steps and who knows, in the end X might really do Y.

@jumpingjellybeanz look up boomereins! Too sick and tired of it all today to give comprehensive wish list but really wish there was more understanding from family, more effort to learn what autism is and how it can manifest. Ditto re bloody ignorant so-called expert professionals.