AIBU buy they copied our wedding dance

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Background-
Group of friends, all couples, friends for about 4/5 years. DH and I got married last year and this particular couple came. Earlier this year, all couples together watching films and the song that came on when the credits rolled so DH and I decided to recreate our dance after a few drinks. A few days later female friend said to me that that was actually the wedding song they have planned, they had completely forgotten we had used it at our wedding (how could they?! Our dancing was amazing, lol) and did I mind? Of course I said no, it's a song, who has ownership of a song etc.
Fast forward to their wedding this weekend, and they used said song, but also had exactly the same dance routine. I mean, everything identical (we went to lessons and learnt it). Isn't that a bit weird? Like less than 12months later they're doing the same dance routine to the same song? Even if they went to lessons to learn it (but they say they haven't had lessons) then they could ask for a different routine ?
I know you can't have ownership of a song (or a dance) but AIBU to expect that you at least do your own version? Mutual friends attending both weddings so if they care (probably don't) it would be pretty obvious.

Why do couples feel the need to put the wedding guests through this level of cringe?

They have bought a wedding gift, travelled for miles, bought a new outfit, are about to stay in a hotel they wouldn't dream of staying in normally, stood around for the photos etc. Why punish them even more?

I've seen one awesome choreographed dance. It was such a laugh and the bride/groom were just enjoying themselves.

99% of them are cringey.

YANBU to think it's weird that someone has copied a chunk from your wedding. It's odd.

YABU to be worried that anyone would notice it's the same dance. Unless it was something very unusual and fitting to the couple (like the one I loved!) then it's just a dance.

I hope it's made you all feel better to tell the OP how terrible and tacky her wedding dance was. What on earth is the point of that?! Does it make you feel superior? She isn't throwing a hissy for or making a big deal, she privately thought it was odd and went into an anonymous forum to see if others agreed. It didn't take her any longer to write her OP than it did for you to construct your snide replies. None of you would ever dare be so bitchy to a brides face.

Yes OP, it is strange that they would copy you. Anyone else who was at the 2 weddings would have thought so too but are too polite to say. Think of it as a form of flattery and do as you have been doing- maintain a dignified silence.

Wow what a bunch of nasty mean spirited comments on this thread. So some of you don't enjoy a first dance? No need for a pile on, it's a traditional part of weddings and it's nice if a couple makes a bit of an effort. Especially if they enjoy themselves, get a bit of exercise and learn a few new moves. What in the world is the harm? It's like, 2 minutes of a guest's life at the wedding of two people you're supposed to like and want the best for!

Anyway OP it's a bit odd to be flat out copying something but you did it first and anyone in your mutual circle will either be so pissed by the first dance they'll think they're imagining it, or will raise an eyebrow at the copying (and apparently if they're a MNer will be off cringing and dying somewhere or making spiteful comments because someone danced a bit )

Well we will see shortly what the comments in the Daily Mail will be. They love a MN wedding thread.

Did you go to lessons for this dance or was it a really obvious one like dirty dancing?

Doesn't the whole "first dance" thing just stem back to when that would be a traditional form of entertainment after a meal? Even until fairly recently, there'd be the annual firm's dinner dance and there'd be a point at which the meal ended and the dancing began, so it fell to someone to indicate this by getting up on the floor and starting the dancing. In the 1960s dinner dance scenario, this would likely be the MD or some boss type and would indicate that "dancing is okay now". At a wedding, the tradition is that it's the bride and groom who open proceedings, but surely as a way of just "starting things off", rather than as some sort of display of dancing prowess?

A vast majority of people on MN seem to hate weddings... I enjoy watching first dances, speeches, the ceremony and all the stuff that makes a wedding a wedding!

I'd love to know what song it was

Whenever I see a first dance particularly a choreographed one I can't help but think of David Brent slightly aggressively dancing at a slightly uncomfortable crowd.

I don't think it's nasty to say you find something embarrassing. It's quite divisive a subject, some love it some hate it. If you've got the confidence to get up and do a 'performance' (sorry that word is cracking me up today) then you should be able to take it that not everyone will be celebrating with jazz hands.

My sisters sil and bil did a choreographed dance at their wedding. Half loved it, half cringed apparently. I don't even know her name but it's the only thing i remember her for. I doubt she knows my name either but probably only knows me as the woman who fell over drunk at bils 50th!

Do any of you who cringe at the dances / singing ever go to watch performances? Do you cringe then?
Perhaps people cringe at the guests dancing? Either way it shows a break taking level of arrogance and superiority to cringe at all.

YABU- people and their weddings, Jesus.

I think getting drunk and falling over is far more cringeworthy!

I go to the Strictly Tour every year. It is in no way comparable to watching a first dance at a wedding. That would be a bit disrespectful to the professional dancers.

I wholeheartedly concur @OuchBollocks. If I'm lucky enough to be included at a friend's wedding and they decide they want to do a 72 minute Tibetan throat singing solo whilst playing the didgeridoo with their arse as an expression of love for their spouse, then I will watch that AND I WILL DAMN WELL ENJOY IT

head
It's not so much dances that make me cringe. I loved one of them that I saw.

I just think it has to be executed well and is very difficult to pull off. Get it right and it's fabulous. Get it wrong, it feels a bit David Brent and awkward.

But then I'm not into lots of staged things at weddings e.g. come round and watch as we release doves, look at all our favorite photos (or at one wedding, a photo slide show we were forced to watch before the wedding breakfast!).

*when I say 'get it right', I don't mean you have to be amazing dancers. I just mean it has to be pulled off well.

Are choreographed wedding dances a thing now? Quite honestly I doubt that most guests paid any attention or cared. They won't remember either.

So get a grip and stop worrying about it. No-one is going to notice or care.

I love weddings but the first dance was the part I was least looking forward to. We told the DJ to invite the guests on the dance floor after about 30 seconds just to follow a bit of the tradition but I was cringing the whole time at people watching my husband and I rotate in an awkward circle.

I do think choreographed dances are pretty awful no matter how good the dancers are (or think they are in some cases maybe) but I think that's because for me it seems on odd thing to out effort into.

@AmIAWeed I think what you've described sounds nice actually, but at least you've acknowledged that it was more of a fun thing for you in the run up to the wedding than anything else.

I do think YABU OP but I also think your friends are a bit odd for copying the idea, especially if it isn't a standard wedding dance like Dirty Dancing.

YABU for having a choreographed wedding dance...it's so cringeworthy!

But you copied the dance and music off a film. It wasn't like you wrote the music and choreographed it yourselves.

Why do you think you own it?

Yabu for having a choreographed dance. And so are your friends.

I think the truth is found in this bit of the OP female friend said to me that that was actually the wedding song they have planned, they had completely forgotten we had used it at our wedding

It wasn't as memorable as you think OP

Of course you do Head, that's why i said it. We all do things other people find embarrassing. I wear jumpsuits. i love them. One of my friends takes the piss out of me constantly as he finds them really embarrassing.