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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU buy they copied our wedding dance

401 replies

NotForSale · 24/07/2017 04:17

Background-
Group of friends, all couples, friends for about 4/5 years. DH and I got married last year and this particular couple came. Earlier this year, all couples together watching films and the song that came on when the credits rolled so DH and I decided to recreate our dance after a few drinks. A few days later female friend said to me that that was actually the wedding song they have planned, they had completely forgotten we had used it at our wedding (how could they?! Our dancing was amazing, lol) and did I mind? Of course I said no, it's a song, who has ownership of a song etc.
Fast forward to their wedding this weekend, and they used said song, but also had exactly the same dance routine. I mean, everything identical (we went to lessons and learnt it). Isn't that a bit weird? Like less than 12months later they're doing the same dance routine to the same song? Even if they went to lessons to learn it (but they say they haven't had lessons) then they could ask for a different routine ?
I know you can't have ownership of a song (or a dance) but AIBU to expect that you at least do your own version? Mutual friends attending both weddings so if they care (probably don't) it would be pretty obvious.

OP posts:
LEELULUMPKIN · 24/07/2017 06:17

You ABVU. They have as much right to be as tacky, cringeworthy and chavvy as you. Don't sweat it, I am guessing most of the guests were probably too busy hiding behind their chairs in embarrassment for you to remember they copied.

Lweji · 24/07/2017 06:29

Was it from a film or a video with a dance routine?

Please let it not be Dirty Dancing.

notomatoes · 24/07/2017 06:32

YABU

No one remembers your dance. It happened very briefly a year ago. The only people it is memorable to are you because you spent time learning it. They might remember the song, but only maybe. It just doesn't mean much to other people!

The chances are the same generic dance is taught to a lot of couples in your area. Unless you are both trained dancers to begin with there are limitations on what you could achieve and dance teachers are unlikely to waste time personalising every dance for every couple they teach.

So let them enjoy the memories of their day and you enjoy the memories of your day.

NorksAreMessy · 24/07/2017 06:40

Was it the Gellers' 'routine' from Friends? I do hope so
Or Barney and Robins wonderful dance at the wedding from HIMYM?
Or 'Gangnam Syyle' like Mr Balls?
Or the mirror dance as performed by Dawn French and Darcey Bussell?

All classically wonderful and so, so romantic Grin

Algebraic · 24/07/2017 06:41

@SerendipityFelix Btw you know if your anus is relaxed then shit comes out, right? 

😂😂😂

RuggerHug · 24/07/2017 06:42

Yabu for the reasons pp have stated. Of all the many (many, many ) weddings I have been to in my life I remember 1 first dance song. They do blend into each other, unless you had batons with flames at the ends?

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 24/07/2017 06:42

I'm guessing 5,6,7,8 steos

babsjonhson · 24/07/2017 06:43

I just googled wedding dance lessons. There are hundreds of classes. Probably all doing the same routines to a few songs.

How hideous. I agree with the pp who felt sorry for the mutual friends having to sit through it more than once.

BoysofMelody · 24/07/2017 06:44

Most weddings are absolutely identical despite the couples being convinced of their originality.

Absolutely. It amazes me that women invest so much time and money into their 'special day' and they also end up looking the same as everyone else's.

DressedCrab · 24/07/2017 06:44

YABU.

Most people hate wedding dances and find them embarrassing. Then they forget them.

Only seen one, it seemed to last hours. Tacky,tacky, tacky.

Algebraic · 24/07/2017 06:46

Nothing wrong with being proud that I can dance cail. Smile
Must we be British and pretend we are terribly awful at everything and have no redeeming features?
Dancing is the only thing I do well, it made my day to dance with my DH. Our common love is dance.
It was a fun five minutes. I'm sure no one remembers the moves but I would be surprised if a close friend nabbed the song.

BoysofMelody · 24/07/2017 06:51

The good thing is that first dances are a superb opportunity to go for a wee and hit the bar and avoid the queue.

stoplickingthetelly · 24/07/2017 06:52

Don't worry about it. You did it first, they copied you. So they're the ones who will look unimaginative.

Boredboredboredboredbored · 24/07/2017 06:54

Was it the hokey cokey???

Cailleach666 · 24/07/2017 06:54

Dancing is the only thing I do well

What level have you achieved in dancing? Grades? Styles?

CorbynsBumFlannel · 24/07/2017 06:55

I personally think anyone is bu to have a choreographed wedding dance as it's about the tackiest thing I can think of but that aside since that's not what the aibu is about...
I imagine when they asked if you'd mind they meant if they used the dance as well as the song. I wouldn't personally want to lift anything from someone else's wedding. It's much nicer to have your own thing as a couple be it personalised vows or a dance if that's what you like but it's up to the couple what they include. Like you said, you don't own the song or dance.

Miserylovescompany2 · 24/07/2017 06:59

I'm still stuck on our dancing was amazing

People really do this don't they - then copy it! (It will NEVER end...)

Rudi44 · 24/07/2017 06:59

Yes, honestly however great you think it was I promise you people won't remember your or her dance. It's special to you and that's great but it's not in the least bit special to anyone else.

Headofthehive55 · 24/07/2017 06:59

Not sure why people think it's tacky to have a first dance with their DH!
Its not unusual to have a routine with your partner if you ballroom dance.

Headofthehive55 · 24/07/2017 07:02

In fact having a routine for a dancer is a bit like knowing the words for a singer. You wouldn't expect a singer to get up and hum, therefore you wouldn't expect a dancer to just dance.

JassyRadlett · 24/07/2017 07:02

Must we be British and pretend we are terribly awful at everything and have no redeeming features?

No, but in that case we also don't need to be buttonned up and say 'oh how lovely' when some people see their wedding dance as a chance to perform before a captive audience, rather than as about the newly married couple enjoying a first dance together that is in the same vein as all the dances that will follow.

You may be brilliant. Your DH may be brilliant too. But for most people who've learned a routine for their wedding, it's clear they've spent so much effort learning it and now remembering it that they aren't actually connecting with their new spouse during it. And so yes, quite cringeworthy and a pity really.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 24/07/2017 07:06

I'm betting this wasn't ballroom. I'm thinking more one of the 'funny' dances that are all over social media that the guests are supposed to really enjoy watching.
Nowt wrong with swaying along to a soppy ballad imo. Tis tradition.

Primadonnagirl · 24/07/2017 07:07

Must we be British

Hell, yes I'm not changing my nationality just to take part in a thread!

peachgreen · 24/07/2017 07:08

I'm pretty live and let live when it comes to weddings but I cannot understand why ANYONE would do a first dance. Everyone ALWAYS looks uncomfortable and embarrassed. Normal first dances are bad enough but choreographed ones makes me want to cringe myself inside out.

We waited until almost everyone besides our closest friends had gone home and then stuck on 'our song' and had the cheesy romantic 'staring into each other's eyes' moment in semi-private. Grin

Cailleach666 · 24/07/2017 07:08

our dancing was amazing

I can guarantee it wasn't.