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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU buy they copied our wedding dance

401 replies

NotForSale · 24/07/2017 04:17

Background-
Group of friends, all couples, friends for about 4/5 years. DH and I got married last year and this particular couple came. Earlier this year, all couples together watching films and the song that came on when the credits rolled so DH and I decided to recreate our dance after a few drinks. A few days later female friend said to me that that was actually the wedding song they have planned, they had completely forgotten we had used it at our wedding (how could they?! Our dancing was amazing, lol) and did I mind? Of course I said no, it's a song, who has ownership of a song etc.
Fast forward to their wedding this weekend, and they used said song, but also had exactly the same dance routine. I mean, everything identical (we went to lessons and learnt it). Isn't that a bit weird? Like less than 12months later they're doing the same dance routine to the same song? Even if they went to lessons to learn it (but they say they haven't had lessons) then they could ask for a different routine ?
I know you can't have ownership of a song (or a dance) but AIBU to expect that you at least do your own version? Mutual friends attending both weddings so if they care (probably don't) it would be pretty obvious.

OP posts:
Daydream007 · 25/07/2017 22:21

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Your dance must have been amazing but your friends have no imagination pinching your routine!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 25/07/2017 23:51

Fuck me! 16 pages and we still don't know the dance!

Itsnotwhatitseems I actually thought that was amazing (pg 14 or so for anyone who's skipping), although I had to stop watching after they put the shades on because it was all too much, but - bless 'em - they worked really hard.

OP, if you're still reading, please please PM me with the music because I REALLY want to know. I won't tell, honest....

Jaxhog · 25/07/2017 23:53

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Your dance must have been amazing but your friends have no imagination pinching your routine!
This

We have neighbours who have copied (badly) our beautiful deck, that my Architect husband designed. We console ourselves that it's a poor imitation (which it is). I bet your friends dance was the same poor imitation.

Refilona · 26/07/2017 00:04

This is so cringy I'm almost embarrassed I'm married.
My first dance song was picked by sorting my favourite songs from shortest > longest. We didn't want to make anyone (especially ourselves) go through more than 2 minutes of awkwardness.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 26/07/2017 00:41

Good Lord, has Mumsnet been invaded by a load of 15 year olds? "Oh my God it's so cringey, like dancing, actually dancing properly at a wedding. So cringe."

It's like being back at school with a bunch of kids who are oh so desperate to be cool and popular that they miss out on most of the actual fun.

OP your dance sounds great. Having a nice bunch of friends who no doubt giggled through your dance reenactment sounds great. Copycat friends sound a bit awkward.

SherbrookeFosterer · 26/07/2017 00:45

I can't recall exactly, but there is an old saying "imitation is a compliment" - something like that.

Don't be upset, just laugh it off.

CoughLaughFart · 26/07/2017 01:17

One of my wedding guests used our wedding reading (quite unusual and we had our best friends man and a woman read it as a dialogue between two people).

That sounds dreadful.

UnaPalomaBlanca · 26/07/2017 06:22

Not a fan of weddings so this isn't going to be positive. I think the first dance is cringeworthy. It is another attention seeking display of fakery. All set up for the day to project some false image.
Having said that, I could see why someone copying the song and dance you chose, might niggle you. Sometimes, imitation is the sincerest form of irritation.

FaithAgain · 26/07/2017 08:08

Refilona my friends chose their song for that reason too! They are both shy.

I've realised of all the weddings I've been to (numerous) I only know what songs people danced to at 4 - our own, my sister's and two friends! The others blur into each other.

OP it's okay to be a bit annoyed but I doubt they even realised it was the same! If people noticed, it reflects badly on them, not you. I can't believe you won't say what song it as or link a video Was it I don't wanna miss a thing from Armageddon?!

strawberrisc · 26/07/2017 09:35

It depends how "original" it was. If it was a dramatic re-enaction of "Closer" by "Nine Inch Nails" then YANBU.

ToesInWater · 26/07/2017 11:25

You think anybody else even noticed, or cared!

MrsMeeseeks · 26/07/2017 12:12

YABU - unless you are literally twelve.

twatchops · 26/07/2017 14:26

@coughlaughfart
It was evidently good enough to be copied! Grin

Decaffstilltastesweird · 26/07/2017 14:30

twatchops

Did I guess right? Did I, did I? Hmmmmmm? Not weirdly overinvested at all.

cherish123 · 26/07/2017 18:01

YABU

EezerGoode · 26/07/2017 18:10

Oh not for sale ,how awful for you..I compleatly agree ,I bet your dance was much better than theirs.i mean for f sake could they not of done their-own dance moves,I bet you looked amazing...why don't you pop a photo up for us all to admire,or better still can you link in a bit of it filmed? Would love to see🙂

Maireadplastic · 26/07/2017 18:21

Jaxhog, I've been saying 'my Architect husband' in my head all day. It's the upper case A that I most enjoy.

ArchibaldsDaddy · 26/07/2017 21:47

Meanwhile...in Syria...

If this is really the pinnacle of what bothers you...you're a deeply fortunate (or highly odd) person.

Lweji · 26/07/2017 21:54

ArchibaldsDaddy

Yet, you're here, instead of helping refugees in Syria. Funny that.

Crispmonster1 · 26/07/2017 21:58

I've seen a few choreographed dances at weddings. No ideas whose wedding, what song or what moves. I hope it was lord of the dance ? That would be hilarious.

milliemolliemou · 26/07/2017 22:20

Okay chaps

  1. Some of us (quite a lot) think First Dances are ludicrous.
  2. Some of us think choreographed dances can be entertaining but still ludicrous.
  3. I think all of these 1s and 2s agree people invest far too much in their weddings and who wears what, dances to what.
However OP is different and spent some time on a dance. Her friend copied it exactly.

OP - just relax. As others have said, you undoubtedly did it better and it was your wedding. Did you enjoy it? that's what counts.

wheresmyphone · 27/07/2017 18:41

please please please can you tell us what the song is

please please

OstentatiousWanking · 31/07/2017 17:15

What's wrong with a nice Waltz?
Or Gay Gordon if you feel a bit lively.
Not at all sarky btw.

Happydoingitjusttheonce · 31/07/2017 19:26

I'm cringing for you and the other couple for incorporating one of these choreographed dances into your wedding. They're naff

Ashspeed · 12/09/2017 05:15

Wow...cannot believe how bitchy and nasty some of these comments are. She asked your opinion on if she should be bothered they had copied the routine and all most of you can say is 'How cringe worthy' people doing choreographed dances is at weddings??? It was THEIR day, they paid probably a small fortune and did what they wanted to do to celebrate and you decide to belittle their choices? How horrible you all are!!!