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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU buy they copied our wedding dance

401 replies

NotForSale · 24/07/2017 04:17

Background-
Group of friends, all couples, friends for about 4/5 years. DH and I got married last year and this particular couple came. Earlier this year, all couples together watching films and the song that came on when the credits rolled so DH and I decided to recreate our dance after a few drinks. A few days later female friend said to me that that was actually the wedding song they have planned, they had completely forgotten we had used it at our wedding (how could they?! Our dancing was amazing, lol) and did I mind? Of course I said no, it's a song, who has ownership of a song etc.
Fast forward to their wedding this weekend, and they used said song, but also had exactly the same dance routine. I mean, everything identical (we went to lessons and learnt it). Isn't that a bit weird? Like less than 12months later they're doing the same dance routine to the same song? Even if they went to lessons to learn it (but they say they haven't had lessons) then they could ask for a different routine ?
I know you can't have ownership of a song (or a dance) but AIBU to expect that you at least do your own version? Mutual friends attending both weddings so if they care (probably don't) it would be pretty obvious.

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 24/07/2017 07:14

Funny thread Grin

Funnyonion17 · 24/07/2017 07:14

A choreographed wedding dance is well tacky. I cringe whenever I see one.

Xeneth88 · 24/07/2017 07:19

Choreographed first dances are tacky and cringeworthy. So yes YABU.

mistermagpie · 24/07/2017 07:21

I agree with Corny I'm afraid, the whole OP makes me cringe. From you having a 'dance routine' at your wedding (wtf? Is this a thing now?) to recreating it for your friends, to being bothered they didn't remember said routine, to them having a dance routine... the whole thing makes you all sound about five.

But yes, it's weird they 'stole' your dance routine because it was a weird thing to do in the first place.

Elvisrocks · 24/07/2017 07:21

Choreographed dancing at weddings is the absolute pits. I think you need to find a more weighty issue to start getting het up about.

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 24/07/2017 07:21

I'm trying to imagine how drunk either my friends or dh and I would have to be in order to think it would be a good idea to either perform our own or watch someone else's wedding dance!!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 24/07/2017 07:25

I think you're unreasonable to have a song, have a dance, have friends who have a dance

This ^

But you did it first so yah, boo, sucks to them!

(After they have glided (glad?) across the floor in a poor imitation of your understated elegance, welcome them back with "Oh thank you so much! What an homage! We had no idea that you liked our dance SO much that you wanted to replicate it yourselves! I feel to thrilled!". Be very excited and gushy.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all.

BikeRunSki · 24/07/2017 07:25

BiL and SiL copied everything-
Her dress v similar style, colour, length (not a coincidence, was a not-white evening dressbin both cases)
Her flowers (Ox eye Daisies and irises, not your typical wedding flowers)
Cake (mil made them both, same cake, same icing at SiL request; mil is very talented at sugar craft and tried to persuade her otherwise).
Song for first dance
Date!!!!!!

Still grates 16 years later !!!!

Crunchymum · 24/07/2017 07:27

Sorry OP but I think you are being very precious.

So a few mutual friends would have seen the dance at your wedding, I assume the bride and groom's family weren't at your wedding to see your 'original performance'

Your dance couldn't have been that complicated if this other couple managed to recreate it after seeing it twice?

I find the whole thing naff (and I am being polite) but the thought of you and your husband doing your wedding dance at some random gathering is so cringe worthy it makes my fanny clench.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 24/07/2017 07:29

You could also give them a blow-by-blow (ahem!) account of your first post-nuptial shag (with diagrams) so that they can copy that too, if they want to.

Sparklingbrook · 24/07/2017 07:32

I really don't think anyone would notice or even care.

It is a bit of a shame that people had to sit through it a 3rd time though. I always disappear when the first dance starts in case I die of cringing.

Algebraic · 24/07/2017 07:34

Ah well. I guess we all move in different circles. DH and I have a lot of friends who enjoy performance. I can imagine the musicians wanting to sing a song to their spouse etc, so it wasn't unusual to us. I've honestly enjoyed every wedding dance I've seen, but perhaps just because I love dancing myself...? After speeches it's my fave bit! I even like those awkward stripper ones GrinGrin

Sparklingbrook · 24/07/2017 07:35

My favourite bit of a wedding are the vows-the important bit. Everything else is immaterial.

thesunwillout · 24/07/2017 07:38

Haha @ hokey cokey

MardAsSnails · 24/07/2017 07:38

I almost want to get married again so I can do the Friends 'routine'

A very good friend of my mine had a choreographed first dance. We all remember that a dance happened, but even he doesn't have a clue anymore what song they danced to.

Headofthehive55 · 24/07/2017 07:40

It's more boring surely to see the couple get up and just sway to some rock Ballard? Now that is dull.

I dint get the angst re choreographed first dances. DH and I will dance a choreographed routine at most dances we go to (as does everybody else).

KC225 · 24/07/2017 07:40

This post sums up weddings. For all the Fuss, drama and expense - guests wise they kind of all merge into one. Groom in a suit, bride in look at me dress, ceremony is virtually always the same. Ages taking photographs, speeches, bite to eat and a drink and cheesy dance afterwards.

I do enjoy weddings, I've been to loads (including my own) but they matter mire to the bride/groom and direct family. I think it's unreasonable to think your day was so unique in the history if weddings that people would remember a dance. Ask me to name the song the couple danced to at the last three weddings attended - nope sorry. But I enjoyed on the day.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 24/07/2017 07:40

I'm copying Corny. (Or is it a homage?)

LaSourciere · 24/07/2017 07:41

Gosh trhere'a a lot of snarky people on this thread.

Guccibelt · 24/07/2017 07:43

I have never seen a choreographed first dance in all the weddings I have been to over he years except on Youve Been Framed.

Awkward stripper dances? Please no

JustMumNowNotMe · 24/07/2017 07:45

To be fair, all first dances make me cringe, its just the choreographed routines are a whole new level of shit.... When I got married we skipped that bit! Grin

MrsKoala · 24/07/2017 07:46

DH and I have a lot of friends who enjoy performance

Oh dear lord. I would have to leave the room for fear of the embarrassment asphyxiating me. I find the speeches awkward enough let alone choreographed dancing - no matter how good it is, in fact the better it is the worse it is. It's the idea someone would go to lessons or spend hours practicing that adds to the sphincter tightening (i say this as someone who loves dancing and went to dance school from 3-15yo). If someone sang a song to someone or did any kind of 'performance' i'd feel the same. I'm actually blushing and feel cringey just reading this thread. Grin

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 24/07/2017 07:47

Dance routines are cringy. I would be laughing if one of my friends did it and would assume it was a piss take!

JustMumNowNotMe · 24/07/2017 07:47

Me too Koala, if someone started singing I would have to make a sharp exit to the loo, I couldn't deal with it at all!

AmIAWeed · 24/07/2017 07:51

ok so I am going to go against the grain here and say, We had a choreographed first dance.
We are terrible dancers
We still are terrible dancers
I don't doubt everyone watching thought it was terrible
BUT in the weeks leading up to the wedding we had 1 hour classes and regularly practised in-between, we laughed. We actually laughed, we didn't talk wedding, I didn't get arsey because the pom poms weren't ready or someone hadn't RSVP'd or made ridiculous demands like announcing they were vegetarian coming to a hog roast, we simply danced very badly and laughed and totally forgot the stress of the wedding and despite being terrible it was fantastic fun.
So I do think the couple were wrong to copy, simply because they've made something that should be fun into a competition.
If they mention it, I'd just laugh and say 'we did it better'