It's a smoking outside one...

[DoggettandBoo]

Yep, that time of year!!

Went for an early evening trip to a local child friendly pub, me, dd and dh. As schools out it seemed like everyone else had the same idea and there were limited outside tables so we asked if we could join on the bench of another family who had finished eating. They were fine about it till dh started rolling a cig and the other Dad went 'woah, not here mate, we're eating'. I'd be more understanding if they were but it was clearly plates of abandoned food and the kids were playing over on the climbing frame. Dh pointed this out but got up and went to smoke a few metres away and there was no trouble.

I'm not a smoker and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I think everyone has the right to smoke outside but we had jumped on 'their' table so maybe it's a bit different. Dh was really fucked off but didn't say anything directly. Just moaned and sulked on the walk home to me. I can see both sides tbh.

Outside or not your DH shouldn't smoke near others who clearly aren't also smoking.Given you had joined their table he really had no need to do it there.Its disgusting.

I'd find it rude if someone asked to share my table and then started smoking. It might be outside, but I didn't ask to sit right next to someone puffing away.

I would have to agree, sorry, I would have felt the same. Surely it's just common decency to ask the other people on the table if they mind if you smoke? Not to just assume? Not everyone wants to breathe in smoke, he should have moved away anyway.

If you sat on someone else's bench, then in my opinion it was fucking rude of your husband to light up. I think that people sitting outside have to expect to encounter smokers (revolting, antisocial habit that it is), as they can't smoke inside anymore. It's give and take. Smoking after you've sat at someone else's table though? Very bad form.

I think joining someone else's table and then smoking is cheeky. It would have been fine further away on your own table but I do g think you were right to light up right next to them when they'd don't you a favour and let you join them.

I would have just moved myself to be honest.

Yes you were outside but who wants smoke wafting in their face regardless of whether they'd finished eating or not.

They were entirely in the right and tbh your dh shouldn't need to be told to go and smoke elsewhere, he should have done it anyway. Smoking in beer gardens is horrible, people want to enjoy themselves without unpleasant smells and fumes around. When I rule the world or will only be allowed in a fenced off area of the car park!

And good on that bloke for speaking up, too.

Very rude of your dh, I am baffled as to why you even need to ask. Of course YABU

Dh was really fucked off but didn't say anything directly. Just moaned and sulked

Your DH needs to get a grip, was it really such an inconvenience to walk a few steps away to light up?

Very rude of your DH I'm surprised you need to ask!

YABU

Im a nonsmoker but do accept that everyone has the right to smoke outside

But you joined their table. So you're in close proximity to strangers who were there first, with food. It's rude to then start smoking. If you had been there smoking away and they joined you then asked you to stop then they would've BU.

Yeah I'm sorry but they let you share their table. You DH shouldn't of even considered smoking near them.

Sounds like the bloke was pretty polite about it.

It's cheeky to rock up at someone's table and light up

Smoking is such an unacceptable thing nowadays it's just common sense

I smoke but I wouldn't at the same table as my kids

I think because you were at the same table then it probably was right for your DH to move. If you'd been at a separate table then I'd have thought fair enough you're outside that's fine.

Also if the area you were sitting in was an area where people were eating, surely other tables nearby were still eating? It might be outside, but no one wants to be breathing in smoke when they're trying to eat.

Your DH was v rude, that behaviour used to annoy me back in the 1980's, whennit was pretty common, but now society has moved on, and its properly socially unacceptable.

I'm afraid that I'm on the side of the other family - even if they weren't actually eating, to a non-smoker the smell of cigarette smoke really is disgusting (not to mention the health risks and the example set to young children).

I've changed tables before when people have lit up near me. I don't deny them their tight to smoke if they wish, but I can't bear to be near it. As you say - you had joined their table, and if I had been them I would have felt justified in asking your DH not to smoke. It's not as though they had joined you and then asked him to out a cigarette out, which would have been unreasonable.

Smoking is very divisive, though, and I think years of being able to smoke anywhere and everywhere will take a while to get out of most people's systems.

I smoke. The other day I was sitting on a bench near the bus stop. When someone else came and sat down, I moved away. It's a bad habit and nobody else should have it inflicted on him. I always move away from non smokers.

Your DH is ridiculous to assume that other families are ok with him smoking around their kids. My DH smokes, I hate it and he is well aware he is not allowed to smoke around me, our DC or anyone else.
It's his choice to pump that shit into his body, tell him to grow up and of it's that much of a problem go get help and quit.

Dh was really fucked off but didn't say anything directly. Just moaned and sulked

He sounds pathetic. Sulking like a baby.

Sorry HWBU- I'm an ex-smoker and still think he was wrong. If you joined their table and they aren't smoking he can't just assume it's ok.

I know that smoking outside is legal, but in the good weather everyone wants to be enjoying the warm evenings without a lung-full of chemicals. Just move away.

Rude, sorry. And I say that as a smoker.

Ok, like I said I don't know how I feel about the whole thing so it's interesting hearing other people's opinions.

I think because it was originally their bench it makes it more wrong.

Neutrogena he's just one of those blokes that hate being told what to do!!