It's a smoking outside one...

[DoggettandBoo]

Yep, that time of year!!

Went for an early evening trip to a local child friendly pub, me, dd and dh. As schools out it seemed like everyone else had the same idea and there were limited outside tables so we asked if we could join on the bench of another family who had finished eating. They were fine about it till dh started rolling a cig and the other Dad went 'woah, not here mate, we're eating'. I'd be more understanding if they were but it was clearly plates of abandoned food and the kids were playing over on the climbing frame. Dh pointed this out but got up and went to smoke a few metres away and there was no trouble.

I'm not a smoker and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I think everyone has the right to smoke outside but we had jumped on 'their' table so maybe it's a bit different. Dh was really fucked off but didn't say anything directly. Just moaned and sulked on the walk home to me. I can see both sides tbh.

As someone who smokes, your DH was incredibly daft. Why would he even want to light up when there's kids sat at the table?! You move away from them!

Nobody wants to be sat near smokers. You don't do that, sit at someone's table then light up

Is this a reverse? It was incredibly rude in the first place to ask to join someone's bench? I would never do this and would say no if someone asked. However to be polite if we were about to leave and i saw someone looking for a table i would tell them we're just leaving if you'd like this one. Smoking is now generally socially unacceptable, your DH obviously chooses to smoke around your DC and you're ok with it but the majority of people would not be ok with strangers blowing smoke at their DC. Equally nothing to do with the health risks most people just find smoking gross and don't want it near them. You're all very U abd sound rather entitled.

I don't even think it's because it's their bench it was wrong, it's wrong full stop. Yes it's 'legal' to smoke outside but you were in an area with kids playing and people eating food, regardless of it being outside he should have moved away from the children and people eating surly you can see that. In my area smoking is banned in all outdoor Childrens parks, and apart from the very rare occasion everyone sticks to this. I don't want to smell smoke while I'm eating. To be honest I think smoking should be banned in all outdoor eating areas if people really need direction to realise that this is rude.

As a smoker, I'd have automatically moved away from others to smoke. It wouldn't occur to me to make other people put up with my smoke, whether there were children at the table or not.

Your dh lacks manners.

Also you OH sounds like a twat for showing off after this.

Ugh. Your DH WBU. Was he seriously just going to smoke at a table with children, eating or not?! I always move away if possible when someone starts smoking near me. In this situation I'd have expected him to ask if it was OK and to politely accept when I said no. It was very rude to just assume nobody would mind.

Sexy kitten it's really not rude to ask to join someone's table at a pub if theirs space

he's just one of those blokes that hate being told what to do!!

Then perhaps he should have better manners so nobody needs to tell him what to do...

This would really annoy me - you'd already intruded a little on their space so to smoke so near them I think is really out of order

If someone asks to join my table I'll say yes to be polite and to avoid awkwardness but inwardly I really don't like it

I'm a smoker myself but I think your DH was out of line. The other man sounds like he was polite about it.

You need to use common sense as a smoker. If it's busy and you are near other people, just move away to smoke. I c any enjoy a cigarette if I know I'm making everyone around me feel disgusted and uncomfortable.

c any = can't!

I wouldn't have sat at their table full stop. It would have made them feel awkward. Yes they had finished eating, but their kids were still playing, so they weren't looking to leave any time soon. Rude to start lighting up too. Yes it was outside, but that's just horrible.

It's not inherently rude that share someone else's table; in a busy public space sometimes it's necessary to do so. I've perched on the end of another person's table, and I've had plenty of people do it to me. Depends on the size of the table, but I imagine we're talking about a big pub bench.
That's a different issue from the smoking aspect.

Thanks for the opinions. It's helped sort out how I feel about it. Rude because it was so close to them but I think it would have been fine if we had a bench to ourselves even if there are kids and people eating there. It's not going to affect people health wise outside but not everyone likes the smell. (I hate the smell of tailor cigs and they set off my asthma if it's inside but I quite like the smell of a Rolly outside)!

I do think smokers get an unfair time of it a bit but I can see this situation wasn't ok.

Eh yes it is rude to ask to join someone else's table in a pub. It totally changes the dynamics for the people already there, you end up not being able to talk properly, conscious of what you are saying, way too close to strangers, way too close to strangers eating which is even worse again, it's awful and really rude, I'd have said no but to then go to smoke, have you no cop on between the two of you? And then your dh sulks, how entitled are ye?

Eh?! So if half a big bench isn't being used and the kids are off playing, two people get to use that whole bench because they got there first?

I'd be fucked off if someone came and sat where I was sitting and then proceeded to light up a cigarette.

If I wanted to inhale putrid smoke, I'd take up the habit myself.

I can't think of a single pub near me that allows smoking in outdoor eating or kids areas.

I'm a smoker but if I'd joined someone else's table id go away to smoke.

Yes they do, the children playing is not relevant, they will no doubt be over and back and at least want the option to sit down and not be unable to or squashed against strangers.

Queueing in a cafe for a sandwich and realising after there is nowhere to sit and asking to join the table of someone alone, eating quickly and leaving is one thing but joining the table of people out for a relaxing meal and drinks is just not on at all

Yeah and all your replies just support my view. Rude and entitled. Does you DH smoke in the house with your DC because its too much effort to walk 10 steps to the outside? same as this situation then. Lack of manners/caring for anyone else around. FYI if someone has severe asthma then smoking near someone even outside could effect them. Rude.

I think we're going agree to disagree on the table thing

Kitten I'm not rude or entitled at all. I don't know why you just seem to want to have a go. I listened and responded to people's opinions and it's helped me work out how I feel about it.