It's a smoking outside one...

[DoggettandBoo]

Yep, that time of year!!

Went for an early evening trip to a local child friendly pub, me, dd and dh. As schools out it seemed like everyone else had the same idea and there were limited outside tables so we asked if we could join on the bench of another family who had finished eating. They were fine about it till dh started rolling a cig and the other Dad went 'woah, not here mate, we're eating'. I'd be more understanding if they were but it was clearly plates of abandoned food and the kids were playing over on the climbing frame. Dh pointed this out but got up and went to smoke a few metres away and there was no trouble.

I'm not a smoker and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I think everyone has the right to smoke outside but we had jumped on 'their' table so maybe it's a bit different. Dh was really fucked off but didn't say anything directly. Just moaned and sulked on the walk home to me. I can see both sides tbh.

Your DH was being really rude.

I hate sulky men too.

I understand why you might share someone's table in a busy pub, but it would make me highly uncomfortable if someone sat at a table I was already at. I'd be very self conscious about talking, find it distracting overhearing other conversations and feel pressured to leave - so I do actually think YWBU about that.

DH smoking at the table was incredibly rude and I think the other guy dealt with it well. I hope you show your DH this thread, so he can avoid a sulk and moan about it in the future and just be considerate of others from the onset.

And No he doesn't smoke in the house ever.

As far as the table thing goes. You can share a large table between two groups of two people and have as much space as between tables for two in some resteraunts. It totally depends on the size and space imo. Have shared many times, have offered when people are looking for a table

Rude, sorry.

Back in the day when I smoked I used to always find a corner of a pub garden to go and smoke. I felt so bad doing it anyway, esp of people around me didn't smoke or there were children around.

I don't smoke anymore

Very rude of your DH. What was he thinking?

I'm a smoker as is DH and wouldn't join a table and light up.

In fact we have been at pub tables first and when people have asked to join us, I have said upfront that we are intending to smoke.

What was he thinking? I don't think he was thinking at all tbh . He's a really heavy smoker so I don't think much of a thought process goes into it. Just habit.

YABU

I think it would have been fine if we had a bench to ourselves even if there are kids and people eating there.

It's not fine, it's disgusting. I'm so glad that in Australia smoking is illegal anywhere that serves food, inside or outside.

Thinking about himself it seems.

Well he is a man Constance!

Sharing a table is totally fine
I've ended up having a good piss up with people who have asked to join our table on a hot sunny day!
But I would ask someone if they minded before I rolled a cig
And I sure as fuck wouldn't have a sulk about it.
Your DH sounds like a child

I'm a smoker but your DH's behavior was unreasonable IMO. Although smoking is allowed outside it has become socially unacceptable to smoke around others, and for this reason I move away even if I'm at 'my own' table surrounded by others, eating or not and kids or not.
Pubs that are child friendly and serve food are bound to be busy at the start of the summer hols especially in good weather. Our place was packed to the rafters. Did anyone think ahead to book? Or even call and see if there would be room? No! I'm afraid if you're going to go out at peak times you have to expect places to be busy and to be in close proximity to everyone else, and if you smoke then these days you have to accept that you either need to move away from others for your cig, or be told. It's the way society has changed and I'm for it - maybe had it been as unacceptable then as it is now I wouldn't smoke. So hopefully it'll at least reduce the next generation of smokers. That said some people are so intent on having a dig on here about smoking that the comments are said just to cause bad feeling. Smokers need to move with the times I'm afraid and realise they need to move away and non smokers need to make it clear they don't want smoking near them - but not be so inflammatory about it.

Don't make excuses for him OP!

Our place was packed to the rafters. Did anyone think ahead to book? Or even call and see if there would be room?

Tbf there aren't many pubs around here that take bookings, apart from big chains.

Just because they had seemingly finished eating doesn't mean they were done with their table and about to leave.
They might have been planning to order pudding or have more drinks and enjoy the evening.

I've had people join my table before and it just means that I'm left feeling uncomfortable and end up leaving sooner than planned.

Fair enough if I have finished and planning to leave and see someone looking for a table, I will offer it to them

I should have start the AIBU of pub table sharing!!

Good on that bloke for speaking up! I hate smoking and would also speak up - I don't even let my mum or sister smoke in my garden. I'm not sure why your DH thought it was ok to smoke in front of them, given that you'd joined their table, they were eating and yours and their children were about!

^PigletWasPoohsFriend

Our place was packed to the rafters. Did anyone think ahead to book? Or even call and see if there would be room?

Tbf there aren't many pubs around here that take bookings, apart from big chains.

^

Fair enough but the point I was making is expect places to be busy and expect to be in close proximity to others - that aren't smokers. If you want a quieter place where you can sit somewhere and smoke then don't go at a time likely to mean it's very busy.

I'm a smoker and would have moved away from the table to smoke. It's nice to be given a chance to be decent though, I would have been pretty annoyed if someone pulled me up on staying seated while I was only rolling a cigarette.

I wish they would ban smoking anywhere food was consumed in the UK like in Austrailia. Or at the very least have specific smoking tables grouped together.
Especially so in child friendly places.

It's fucking gross when you settle down outside and some arse lights up next to you so their smoke blows right in your face.

Pregnant at the mo so not currently a smoker but when I was smoking I always took myself away from others to have a cigarette if they weren't smoking themselves. It's just common decency to appreciate that lots and lots of people really dislike cigarette smoke, and it's not considerate to force them to inhale yours. If there were children around, and food, then that's even more rude. Being a smoker comes with a certain amount of social exclusion, you have to respect people that don't smoke.

What was he thinking? I don't think he was thinking at all tbh grin. He's a really heavy smoker so I don't think much of a thought process goes into it. Just habit.

To be honest, I think this is a lot of smokers..not in a mean way but they just dont realise how smelly their habit is.

I have finally got through to OH how horrible it is for him to go and have a smoke when we have finished a meal and him to come back to the table reeking of fags. It totally spoils having had a nice meal.

He now goes for a quick walk

I'm a smoker.

In any place I am where there are kids and/or people eating, I always move as far a way as necessary to ensure my smoke doesn't bother anyone else.

I actually hate people smoking near me when I am trying to eat, even if it's the next table.

Last week I went out for a posh brunch with DM and DS.
It was a place that all the windows fold back so is essentially open on 3 sides.
I went over the other side of the road to have a fag, because I knew it would bother people, even if I went outside the doors.

It's called consideration.

I would never spark up in a pub garden filled with people eating, even if there weren't kids playing.
I would move far enough away that smoke didn't bother them, even if it inconvenienced me a bit.

Your DH is a selfish arse who gives the rest of us smokers a bad name, sorry.

Don't smoke anywhere near anyone who isn't smoking it's not difficult! Smoking is vile and harmful and the smoke spreads. I and most people I know would have said exactly the same as the other bloke did in fact I'd have been VERY surprised to have even needed to say that,it's basic manners not to inflict your smoke on someone else! Your DH was being an entitled arse to even consider doing what he was going to do,rude!