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To think that actually, 4.30 am is not an acceptable time to start the day?

116 replies

TooGood2BeFalse · 22/07/2017 09:09

Hi all.

I have a 1 year old and a 5 year old. I have just left an abusive marriage and am currently staying with my 60 year old dad.My lovely mum died of cancer 3 years ago.

I left our home with no intention of returning and I never will. In the 3 months I've been staying here, my 1 year old has decided to start the day at 4.30 am :-( I have tried everything from different food, putting him to bed earlier/later, he's just now trying to walk so loads of physical time etc. This has been the past 2 months.

I'm so tired.My older son is on the autistic spectrum so has to go to bed at exactly 8pm (he is 5 but an expert on telling the time).But it takes me perhaps 30mins to wind him down, we have to recite the alphabet forwards, backwards (and In french) before he can relax.He is very high functioning and since we started his therapies he's just blossoming.

But I am also trying to work at night (writing, marketing, copy writing, etc) to support us as STBXH is skint and nowhere around.

I need to have a few hours in the evening not just to work, but to clean, do laundry,get my head together etc.But my baby, who is beautiful, lovely easy baby etc. Just insists on these early wakeups.

My AIBU is, I have asked his paediatrician for advice.I have (shamelessly) asked other mothers for advice. But the general consensus is, I am being silly to not understand that some babies wake up early.He will have a 2 hr nap about 9.30 and I'm so grateful that he goes down easily.But he refuses afternoon nap and then is a grumpy git from 3pm onwards.

Sorry I'm not making much sense.

Am I being unreasonableto expect a 1 old (not BF) to sleep longer than 6.45pm to 4.30 am?

On my knees here, hard hat on.Please help. I am trying my hardest to make a new, better life for my sons but at the minute I am so tired I am not functioning well.My dad is the loveliest, most supportive parent you could imagine but I'm trying not to wear him out either.

OP posts:

ProudBadMum · 22/07/2017 09:11

Put the baby to bed later. My 9 month old has a 8pm bedtime for this reason.


Cocklodger · 22/07/2017 09:12

Is 6:45pm a normal baby sleep time?
My dd goes down at 9:30 Shock


VestalVirgin · 22/07/2017 09:14

YANBU. 4:30 is not an acceptable time to start the day. I once had a job where I had to get up at 4 and it was hell.

But sorry, your baby is most likely displaying perfectly normal baby behaviour.

Can you take turns with your dad in getting up early? One day he, one day you? I assume your dad is still working, so would have to get up relatively early anyway, and may be able to go to bed earlier than you.


Sexykittenhells · 22/07/2017 09:16

Mine does 8pm-8am. 6.45 might be too early. Unless you've already tried that.


lottiegarbanzo · 22/07/2017 09:18

You're right but your baby isn't BU really. DD never slept for more than ten hours at night. Sounds like yours is the same. So, pick your hours.

I see that you're busy putting your older son to bed at 8ish. So, could the baby spend time with your dad then and go to bed at 9pm? Or could your dad put him to bed at 8pm?


WhatsGoingOnEh · 22/07/2017 09:18

Have you made the baby's room completely dark? Maybe the sun is waking him up. Use blackout blinds and pin them to the window if necessary - get it BLACK in there.


TooGood2BeFalse · 22/07/2017 09:19

I've tried an 7.30, 7.45,8pm, 8.30 bedtime. He still wakes up at 4.30-5am

OP posts:

TooGood2BeFalse · 22/07/2017 09:21

Thank you so much lottie, but the problem is because he refuses to nap in afternoon he is literally exhausted by 6pm and I have to work to keep him up.

OP posts:

gingergenius · 22/07/2017 09:21

My eldest was like this. Absolutely knackering. I used to let him come into bed with me and watch something on the computer. He's 15 now and could sleep for England (he's an aspie and his sleep was always challenging.) it is a common (although frustrating) problem. Would snuggles in bed with you help?


Namechangetempissue · 22/07/2017 09:22

6.45pm is incredibly early -my two went down at around 8pm. I think you need to try changing bedtimes.


Namechangetempissue · 22/07/2017 09:23

Ah sorry, see you have.


trinity0097 · 22/07/2017 09:25

It might get better when the nights draw in, I wake around that time too far more easily in the summer than the winter as its starting to get light.


TooGood2BeFalse · 22/07/2017 09:26

Thank you whatsgoingon I've got black out blinds, it doesn't mean a difference :-(

I also don't want to ask my dad to do anything as he's doing me such a big help by having the 3 of us here.He is great with the boys and never complains, but he runs his own business and has enough on his plate

OP posts:

OhHolyFuck · 22/07/2017 09:30

DS1 was the same as a baby, and sadly still is at 6.5
He needs an early bedtime to compensate for the fact that the second the day breaks, he springs out of bed and is ready to go
Complete opposite to ds2 (and me!) who are night owls and want to sleep in a bit more in the morning

For example right now, ds2 is still asleep, DS1 has been up 4 hours on a 'troll hunt' and I'm throwing coffee down my neck as I couldn't sleep til after 1am


AtHomeDadGlos · 22/07/2017 09:31

Have you tried just leaving him? My DD (19 months) sometimes wakes at about 5am. Has a cry then falls back to sleep until 8am.

We did sleep training with her (leave for 2 then 4 then 6 minutes etc) and after about a week or two she would sleep really well. Now just points to her cot, says 'night night' and goes off to sleep. Resettles herself when she wakes, occasionally with a 'shh' over the monitor.


BarbaraBitchFace · 22/07/2017 09:31

I would be looking to rearrange my time. Can some work/cleaning etc be done upon waking at 4.30? Go to bed earlier, sleep when baby sleeps? Can baby be given a snack/ drink but then left in crib with a few toys to play with while you doze?


tissuesosoft · 22/07/2017 09:32

Have you tried moving naptime later in the day? He may be ready for just one long nap a day. So nap about 11/12, bedtime at 7.15/7.30


JassyRadlett · 22/07/2017 09:33

One thing that worked for me with persistent early wake ups (that I heard on MN) was the really counterintuitive idea to wake them slightly about 20 minutes before the usual wake up time - just a little, then settle straight back down. It resets the sleep cycle.

It can take up to a week but really worked for us with both babies.


Bunnyfuller · 22/07/2017 09:33

I would gradually makes his bedtime later by 30 mins each day' in blocks of 7 days - it'll be shit to start with but you will gradually reset his clock. One later bedtime in isolation will have no effect.


mummmy2017 · 22/07/2017 09:34

I keep waking this early, it's the sunrise, black the room out, window covered in blanket.


Timetogrowup2016 · 22/07/2017 09:34

The 9:30 nap is likely your issue.
His making up the early wake with a early nap.
Can you push his nap till 11am.
Nap 11-1 then bed for 7 ish


Youcouldbemysilversprings · 22/07/2017 09:34

Sounds like he needs a nap, during the day, I always found both of mine were up at the crack arse of fan ifthey hadn't had a daytime nap. I'd try and persevere with that, an afternoon nap after lunchtime, I know it's not popular but I used controlled crying to get my two to nap and it worked.


Neutrogena · 22/07/2017 09:34

Google Andrea Grace and have a Skype appoontment


Youcouldbemysilversprings · 22/07/2017 09:34

*crack arse of dawn


TooGood2BeFalse · 22/07/2017 09:34

Thank you gingergenius I've tried that too. It seems as if the minute he stirs he is UP! DS1 is so bloody active, bouncing off the walls even, that I suspect he sleeps so well because he's exhausted.

DS2 is way more laid back and would be happy with loads of cuddles and songs..but not such a great sleeper!

OP posts:
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