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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Strangers giving my DC biscuits

123 replies

Bubbinsmakesthree · 22/07/2017 07:16

We (toddler, baby and me) frequent a cafe that is also popular with ladies in their 50s/60s who seem obsessed with offering my toddler biscuits.

Now I welcome the fact that they seem to be charmed by the toddler, and any day where he's happily chatting with a cafe lady whilst I feed the baby (rather than him badgering me, whining, throwing a tantrum or whatever) counts as a win. If he ends up eating biscuits then so be it.

But I am still a bit 'WTF?' that cafe ladies take it upon themselves to offer him biscuits either without asking me at all or only checking with me after they've waved it in front of his face (so I've got a choice of biscuit or tantrum).

Are the cafe ladies being U to feed him biscuits or am I being U to find their friendly gesture a bit annoying?

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 22/07/2017 07:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyheartbelongstoG · 22/07/2017 07:28

Its a biscuit ffs

confusedandemployed · 22/07/2017 07:29

A biscuit in a cafe? If that's all you have to worry about you're doing ok.

Neverknowing · 22/07/2017 07:30

It's a bit strange but I wouldn't worry about it honestly.

AtHomeDadGlos · 22/07/2017 07:31

The fuckers. I'd report them to the police.

AtHomeDadGlos · 22/07/2017 07:32

In case OP doesn't get sarcasm - yes, YABU

Loopytiles · 22/07/2017 07:32

DH once got cross about an elderly person doing this. I thought he was being weird.

Pengggwn · 22/07/2017 07:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 22/07/2017 07:33

I might say something. Like: Oh thank you! We've just had one so why don't we save this one for later.

Dawnedlightly · 22/07/2017 07:33

I guess if they've done it once and you didn't mind, they guess you don't mind...
Generally people offer. YANBU

OccasionalNachos · 22/07/2017 07:34

YABU but I understand if it happens so frequently that you're worried about sugar/his diet. (If it's occasionally that YAB very U) or is it food allergies you're worried about?

Stormwhale · 22/07/2017 07:34

I guess if you are leaving cafe employees to watch your child, you can't really complain when they feed them. If you don't want them to, keep your child with you.

ButtfaceMiscreant · 22/07/2017 07:40

I had similar when my DC fell over and grazed their arm and leg outside a cafe. While waiting for the accident book (it was an attraction type place) they asked them if they wanted an ice cream for being so brave, and waved a Twister in their face so I couldn't say no (well, I could but the tantrum would have been immense coupled with the upset of a bleeding arm). I wish people would ask discreetly before offering, rather than asking the adult loudly with the child in full hearing range.

Pengggwn · 22/07/2017 07:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OwlinaTree · 22/07/2017 07:45

Food equals love. That's why they offer.

pinkdelight · 22/07/2017 07:54

Why is that gesture anything other than lovely, buttface? Unless dc can't eat ice cream, which you would be used to explaining, then it's just the shop being nice. Likewise the OP - does dc have but allergy or gluten intolerance? If not and you're just objecting on principle, it's weird. They're being nice. Plenty of people will treat your kids less nicely.

pinkdelight · 22/07/2017 07:54

Nut not but!

NotYoda · 22/07/2017 07:56

That's a nice thing

Be grateful

knityourgobshut · 22/07/2017 07:57

YANBU - allergies are dangerous and they wouldn't know if your DC have them, also you may choose to exclude certain foods from their diets and these ladies wouldn't know that either.

pinkdelight · 22/07/2017 08:00

Well they would know because OP would pipe up and say don't give him that, please, he has xyz allergy. Which she could say anyway if it's so bothersome.

NotYoda · 22/07/2017 08:00

knit

The mum's sitting right there. I'm sure anyone with a toddler with a life-threatening allergy would be watching them like a hawk.

Heroicallylost · 22/07/2017 08:01

No one can read minds, just tell them 'no thank you, we don't have biscuits' and hand it back

cdtaylornats · 22/07/2017 08:02

knity - that's why we have language. I assume the child may at some point have eaten things in the cafe without a million questions being asked as to the contents of the food or demands to sweep the cafe free of nuts - so they knew the child was okay with biscuits.

Xmasbaby11 · 22/07/2017 08:04

Just mention it before it happens and say you don't want him to have any.

I don't think it is a big deal depending on how many biscuits or what type. I'd assume if you objected for whatever reason you'd step in.

I think using the word stranger is rather emotive here. It's someone who works there isn't it? It's their job to serve food.

Ohwoolballs · 22/07/2017 08:06

It's a bit of a lovely grandma trait I think. My grandma used to always feed us up when we were children and now my mum is getting into the habit of offering snacks to my toddler. A day will come where I will probably start doing it!
As a pp sail, food is love. They want to see your toddler smile, laugh and be happy.
They might think they are doing you a favor keeping him distracted while you sort out the baby.