DH doesn't Iike cooking for me

[OverTheHammer]

We both work so share the cooking but lately DH has been against cooking for me because I've become vegetarian and because I need to know exactly what he's put in my meals so that I can count the calories.

Yesterday he made me veggie steak, chips and mushroom sauce but got cross when I asked exactly how many onions and how many mushrooms were used in my meal so that I could work out the calories. He says it's all too much and he'd rather not do it.

Is this justified?

At BMI 21 i doubt you look fat, but you may look like you need to do a little more resistance exercise. I said may, btw.

Sounds like you need to either co for yourself always, or rely on a prick with a fork on his cooking days. Even if you eyeball onions and mushrooms, you're going to be a very small number of calories out though.

The m&ms were weighed. 25g - 150 calories and because I'd weighed everything else throughout the day I knew I could "afford" them.

You see that's kinda why DH weighing everything obsessively pisses me off so much. I don't want to go down the road of obsession and strict control and self imposed restrictions. Now some people can simply weigh out their food and log it into MFP and happily go about their day but some people can't. You can't. Neither can I.

I'm doing resistance training to tone up and daily cardio to enable me to not feel so bad about the food intake. Today I did tennis, gym and swimming - hence the m&ms lol.

The m&ms were weighed. 25g - 150 calories and because I'd weighed everything else throughout the day I knew I could "afford" them.

Yep, you definitely have an eating disorder. Please see your GP as soon as possible; it can be very dangerous.

Weighing mushrooms and onions is disordered eating. I don't blame your husband for not wanting to enable this behaviour. Weight is not always a good indicator of whether someone has an ED.

Please seek some help OP.

He don't have an eating disorder! Honestly I still cave and eat takeaway/crisps/chocolate like anyone else. I'm just making a conscious effort not to!

Being conscious about your weight - or taking active steps against becoming fat is not an eating disorder.

Mushrooms and onions have negligible calories.
Weird, man.

You're in denial, OP, and that's understandable and expected, but you would be wise to listen to what everyone is telling you.

Your behaviour around food is disordered and you need to seek help for it.

I'm not very good at getting things across on here so I apologise if it seems I have some kind of eating disorder. I don't. I'm just actively trying to lose weight to reach my target and look good for my holiday like many other people.

Is vegetarian one where the cow has only eaten grass?

The vegetarianism is nothing to do with losing weight. I'm vegetarian for ethical reasons in addition to hoping it will improve my IBS (which it seems to be doing)

*Today 23:46 OverTheHammer

I'm doing resistance training to tone up and daily cardio to enable me to not feel so bad about the food intake. Today I did tennis, gym and swimming - hence the m&ms lol*

Fuck me. You did 3 lots of exercise today to allow yourself 25g of chocolate?

You have some sort of disordered mentality about eating.

You do realise this is not normal?

Your BMI is 21, how much weight are you wanting to lose? Surely that's totally normal?

As I said I'm not very good at getting things across on here. I've had 1594 calories today. I don't think I'll waste away anytime soon 😁

I only have another 6lbs to lose to reach target. Then I can maintain.

There's basically no calories in onions and mushrooms. Let it go, if you're counting everything else you can afford to not count the meals your DH cooks you and just appreciate his cooking.

So, a totally normally day food wise. You do realise how all your previous posts sounded?

Fuck me, that extra mushroom will have pushed you over the edge

So half a stone would
Take you down to 20?
What do you weigh/how tall are you now?

If you're worried about calories then don't eat all the chips.YABU,Cooking Canberra a chore but if you start questioning minute content of the food it probably feels like a criticism and ungrateful/rejection.

It is disordered because of the emotions involved - you feel anxious and guilty if you arent running a calory deficit.

It wouldn't matter if some days you gained weight, you'd still have a healthy bmi. So why is it so important to control it so carefully?

It is disordered because of the obsessiveness, that you would rather cook all your own food than not know how many mushrooms you have eaten. That means that your anxiety about calories is impacting your day to day life with your partner.

I obviously didn't mean for my earlier posts to come across like I was eating less than I should be. I eat a healthy amount of calories. Some days I even go over (shock horror!) but when I do, I feel like shit.

I'm 5ft 10in and 10st 6lbs. Target is 10 st. (Which would still be a healthy weight).

I think that if you're feeling really anxious about calories and you need to weight it all/plan how much exercise you need to do to allow a 'treat,' then that's an awful lot of energy and stress regarding diet in general.

Does all that stress make you happy?

Happy, no. In control, yes.

I can't just eat what I want and end up overweight, it would do me in.