Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH doesn't Iike cooking for me

150 replies

OverTheHammer · 21/07/2017 23:06

We both work so share the cooking but lately DH has been against cooking for me because I've become vegetarian and because I need to know exactly what he's put in my meals so that I can count the calories.

Yesterday he made me veggie steak, chips and mushroom sauce but got cross when I asked exactly how many onions and how many mushrooms were used in my meal so that I could work out the calories. He says it's all too much and he'd rather not do it.

Is this justified?

OP posts:
starsinyourpies · 21/07/2017 23:20

YABU

AnathemaPulsifer · 21/07/2017 23:22

There are 22 calories in 100g of mushrooms and 40 calories in 100g of onions. If you're counting calories so carefully that you worry about veg like that when someone else has cooked for you, you have a problem. Doubly so since you're not even overweight!

RockyBird · 21/07/2017 23:23

Vegetarian steak? How does that work?

Porpoises · 21/07/2017 23:24

Sounds like you might have an eating disorder, I'm sorry to say.

Its not necessary to count calories if you don't have a weight problem. And even if you do, telling someone to count mushrooms is bordering on obsessive - they're pretty low calorie so most people would be happy to estimate.

Was your choice to go vegetarian related to a fear of becoming overweight?

LadyLoveYourWhat · 21/07/2017 23:25

I weigh what I eat too, if you are calorie counting to lose weight, it really is the only way to do it successfully. My husband did note down quantities for new recipes, but I found it much easier to get him to cook stuff I'd already calculated in the MyFitnessPal recipe builder and then to ask that he did make sure to measure out the oil he used for frying etc, a few grammes more of vegetables won't make much odds, concentrate on the calorie dense stuff. A bit of compromise needed here.

thefutureisfemale · 21/07/2017 23:27

are you underweight?

Rhubarbtart9 · 21/07/2017 23:28

You need to guess or watch him cook under the guise of being social

Original poster
OverTheHammer · 21/07/2017 23:29

Not underweight either. BMI is 21 but I look fatter than I sound. If I don't burn more than 500 calories more than I eat I feel anxious and guilty. I'll just cook my own food in future.

OP posts:
japonicaleaf · 21/07/2017 23:30

YABU.

thefutureisfemale · 21/07/2017 23:31

You clearly have disordered thinking when it comes to food- that's not your fault. YABU however to expect your DH to enable your disorder.

FeckinCrutches · 21/07/2017 23:31

You need some professional help.

FedUpWithBriiiiiick · 21/07/2017 23:32

OP it sounds like you have some serious issues with food. If you haven't already, it would be really worth seeking some support.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/07/2017 23:32

I weigh what I eat too, if you are calorie counting to lose weight, it really is the only way to do it successfully

You're trying to lose weight though, the OP does not have a weight problem; she has an eating disorder.

It's a very dangerous path to go down and should not be encouraged.

AnathemaPulsifer · 21/07/2017 23:33

If I don't burn more than 500 calories more than I eat I feel anxious and guilty

Seriously, this is heading into eating disorder territory. You're a healthy weight, you should be aiming to tone up and maintain a similar BMI. Muscle weighs more than fat anyway. Don't fret about the veg, Just eyeball how much you think is there - the calories are so low it really doesn't matter.

thefutureisfemale · 21/07/2017 23:33

OP you have HF aspergers don't you? It is common to fixate on things with Aspergers.

Can you talk to someone?

ArchieStar · 21/07/2017 23:33

OP, I know you don't think it but you need to seek help. This isn't a healthy attitude to food Sad

Porpoises · 21/07/2017 23:33

If I don't burn more than 500 calories more than I eat I feel anxious and guilty.

You definitely have an eating disorder :( Talk to your dp and get yourself to a doctor. Untreated eating disorders get worse as it messes with your brain chemistry. You don't deserve to feel anxious and guilty, and you can get better from this.

Original poster
OverTheHammer · 21/07/2017 23:34

I don't have an eating disorder, I certainly don't starve myself! I've just eaten m&ms 😁

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/07/2017 23:35

You do have an eating disorder, OP.

Starving yourself is not the only eating disorder out there.

skyzumarubble · 21/07/2017 23:37

Yabu. Either accept what he cooks or you cook. That's the reason I cook in my house or I'd be two stone heavier than I am.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 21/07/2017 23:37

You can still eat m&ms and have an eating disorder.

It's not normal to have such a fear of gaining weight or become so anxious if you don't burn 500 more calories then you eat, please seek some help before you get to a point you can't turn back from x

Gemini69 · 21/07/2017 23:38

Christ that's hard work....

I wouldn't cook for you either OP x

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/07/2017 23:39

An eating disorder is defined as:

any of a range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal or disturbed eating habits

You fall into this category, OP. It would be wise to seek professional help.

thereallochnessmonster · 21/07/2017 23:40

There's not much point demanding that your h count how many mushrooms and onions he's cooked for you, then eating M&Ms!

Sounds like disordered eating, OP. Suggest you ring your GP.

AdoraBell · 21/07/2017 23:42

YABU.

If my DH questioned me about exactly what I've used I would stop cooking.

If you make him a brew does he ask how many grains of sugar it contains?