To think actually no my dd doesn't need to learn letters at 3

[Nicpem1982]

My dd is 3 in September, and mil was asking for present ideas this evening. The budget is silly so have asked her for a couple of small educational toys and some school shoes and remaineder into savings as don't want a house full of toys

Told her what we've bought mainly STEM based toys and games to which mil replied

"She needs to concentrate on letters from her birthday not just science and nature (my dd is a huge fan) she'll be behind if she can't read for reception"

I'm in no rush for my dd to read and write we encourage her interests (for the record she has fun toys to but she shows little interest in anything outside of the following

Nature hunts
Mud pie making
Playing on the park and generally being outside
Playing with her toys (mainly Lego, dinosaurs, board games, small world imaginative play)
Arts and crafts

For the record I have an excellent relationship with my mil but this has really irritated me, I don't want my dd forced into reading until she is ready the issue is my mil covers a large portion of our child care I'm now worried that she will start forcing her to try and learn to read and my dd will lose the love of books she has

Aibu to be irritated and think let my dd be herself at her own pace or should she be learning to read?

Sticker books are workbooks - how about them? Mine loved them.All that finding and sticking - turning pages, guessing what is missing, counting, knowing which way round the book should go.....tracing the way out of a maze with a pencil (teaches pencil control).
I agree you don't know if you like something until you've tried it.

belle the education system in this country is not dire, it's actually excellent. I'm a teacher and my colleagues work much harder than their European counterparts, who turn up, teach and go home again.

Peng -absolutely and when she's ready I'm sure she'll show interest in the literacy items we have at home.

Head - I'm not sure why she needs any type of workbook TBH

She doesn't NEED Lego, or NEED arts and crafts.
My point was that there are fun things that are build literacy skills without you realising.
I'm not sure why anyone would go out of their way to reject opportunities to learn.

My dd is almost 3 and has known the alphabet since she turned 2, as someone bought her a chunky alphabet jigsaw puzzle and she loved playing with it. We just named the letters as she played with them (i.e. handed her the A and asked "Where does the A go?") and she picked it up in no time. It was all part of play. She shows huge interest in writing and typing and can type her name, her sister's name and "Mummy" and "Daddy" on the computer, unaided, and can recognise those words if she sees them, but that's all in terms of reading so far. We haven't pushed it. We read books together all the time, and she likes to pretend she's reading and will make up the story if she doesn't remember. Her sister plays "schools" with her and they have recently been drawing letter shapes together. The little one can trace over most letters perfectly already, but again, to her it is just part of play. I agree, it seems far to young to be concerned about getting them to read or write if they'd rather be playing in the garden, but it may be worth introducing letters and numbers to see if your child shows an interest in them. Learning to read can be a lot of fun and doesn't have to be seen as "formal education" at all. They all learn to speak without having to be formally taught.

Not - that's my point my dd doesn't show any interest in these activities

Head- I'm not going out of my way to deny learning opportunities I've already said in my previous posts my dd has access to literacy toys/activities and doesn't show any interest, she does however show interest in Lego etc

Sorry only got to about pg3.

However op's is 3 in Sept so has 2 full school years to go before reception and will be amongst the oldest in the year. In a class with children who won't be 2 until August! (Assuming in england/wales). It is way to early to be pushing for anything and will likely result In a bored kid by the time she gets to school - who probably won't push her on as they have to get the rest of the class up to initial reading.

From what I have seen of recent curriculum maths is where the kids seem to need to have a better start. Simple counting, and counting on - adding up using tools - blocks, toys whatever. None of this was put on paper until into year 1 though so again no need to push.

I asked before my daughter went to school what she needed to be able to do (she is now 7 so not out of date) they said for a normal child:

1. take herself to the toilet fairly consistently, (they expected some accidents, but not still needing nappies)
2. eat her lunch unaided - someone would open a packet but not spoon feed her for example, and
3. sit on a carpet or wherever and listen - to a story or some instructions etc. THAT IS IT!!

Some children are interested in books and learn to read without having to be sat down with flash cards. My daughter was one of them and could already read quite well by three, but if she wasn't I wouldn't have pushed her on the basis of needing to read for reception. As far as I was concerned she would be learning the basics when she got to reception anyway, whatever she already knew from home or playgroup. The best thing you can do is make books and stories fun so that they are keen to learn when they get to school, and if they happen to learn to read before that then all well and good. It doesn't hurt to join the library (I was an early reader too and had my own library card at 2) so they get used to making their own choices about what they'd like to read. Perhaps you could say to your MIL that you'd rather not pressure your dd with formal learning of letters just yet, but if she would like to take her to the library once a week that would be lovely? That way it remains a fun thing for your dd but your MIL cannot say you are against fostering early reading skills. There might even be a 'story time' that they can join and you can say it's good practice for sitting nicely with the other children when she gets to reception . I'm just thinking that she might get chatting to other 'mums' and realise that your dd doesn't really need to be pushed so much at her age, without you having to make a big thing about it.

I think that it sounds like your DD has a lot of toys. 😂

I've four D.C. and I was amazed at how differently they all learnt things.

I don't think the fact that your DD hasn't shown any interest in letters means anything. It might be that by next week it's her favourite thing ever... I swear one of my DC learnt all his colours in the space of a few hours with his Granny. I t hadn't crossed my mind to teach him. went to collect him he suddenly knew all his colours. Another one of my DC had an electronic game and self taught herself all the letters and sounds. It didn't teach her reading but meant it was a lot easier.

I think it's best to be quite relaxed and open about teaching things to little kids. Some are genuinely desperate to learn while others are to busy with other things.

She sounds perfect. Mud pies are excellent fun. Learning reading is best done through exposure to books pre school so you're doing everything right. Thing is games and learning letters won't hurt her. It's not forcing her to read it's opportunities- as all things are. Matching and sorting games are good whether it be a button box of tub of plastic letters. Workbooks are just as good for scribbling in as plain paper. She'll come to no harm and might enjoy it so breathe in and let it go.

Pynk - she has a few favourites 😂

Crumbs - I don't think it'll hurt her if it's her choice she has access to letter games/toys etc but they don't get a look in -I am however fully aware that this could change tomorrow 😂

I'm off with her for a large chunk of time through the summer so all of her home toys get dragged out at some point so alphabet fishing will feature again no doubt (water filled bucket with foam letters and a net)

Pixel the library thing is a good idea the local library is near preschool so convenient for after mil picks her up

Miaow - we already have that as mil is somewhat enthusiastic when it comes to present buying, her hearts in the right place though

In the nicest possible way, I think you're being ridiculous.

Nobody can force a 2yo to do anything! Your mil can have as many workbooks and flash cards as she likes but if your DD isn't going to pay attention or sit still, she'll be wasting her time. How does she propose forcing a 2 or 3yo to pay attention to something she's not interested in?! If some of it does capture her attention, well doesn't that show your DD is actually interested? And wouldn't it be in her best interests to allow her to indulge her interests?

I'd wish your mil good luck and leave them to it.

Smitff - by forcing its more removing the other toys so dd is left with the reading stuff of mils choice

But yeah thinking about it good luck too her because my dd is a nightmare if she's bored 😂😂😂

My children went to a Montessori nursery where the focus is on play....but as part of their play they did reading type activities and letter recognition for example writing letters in the sand with their fingers. To be honest your post confuses me - if your child is two I doubt your m'n'law would be able to force them to learn letters. I don't see the harm in have some educational play. Even just reading to a child is educational - but it can also be fun for them.

Sowhatusername sorry only just seen your post. DD is 4 end of Oct.

It's all a bit barmy the pressure on their development at this age I think. DM is always trying to read with DD but she's adamant she'll only do stories at bedtime. And why would we force her?

We have books upstairs and downstairs and she won't pay attention during the day. She just wants to play. Plus she likes the same stories again and again and you have to be clever about introducing new ones. It takes weeks. That's just her. Not worried.