To think actually no my dd doesn't need to learn letters at 3

[Nicpem1982]

My dd is 3 in September, and mil was asking for present ideas this evening. The budget is silly so have asked her for a couple of small educational toys and some school shoes and remaineder into savings as don't want a house full of toys

Told her what we've bought mainly STEM based toys and games to which mil replied

"She needs to concentrate on letters from her birthday not just science and nature (my dd is a huge fan) she'll be behind if she can't read for reception"

I'm in no rush for my dd to read and write we encourage her interests (for the record she has fun toys to but she shows little interest in anything outside of the following

Nature hunts
Mud pie making
Playing on the park and generally being outside
Playing with her toys (mainly Lego, dinosaurs, board games, small world imaginative play)
Arts and crafts

For the record I have an excellent relationship with my mil but this has really irritated me, I don't want my dd forced into reading until she is ready the issue is my mil covers a large portion of our child care I'm now worried that she will start forcing her to try and learn to read and my dd will lose the love of books she has

Aibu to be irritated and think let my dd be herself at her own pace or should she be learning to read?

My little boy has just finished school nursery before that he was at home with me. His nursery is very much play based learning which i love. They put all their names on cards on floor and ask them to find their name, they also give them white boards to draw/ write on, they play games and sung songs about letters but mostly play, do fun activities, play outside, create things and learn about nature. My little boy who is 4 knows quiet a few letters but not all, can identify what some words begin with, and some words eg cat - say c a t makes cat. This seems to be the norm from what i can see at nursery with some doing a bit more some less. They are only tiny i really dont understand why people want to push them so much. They are all going to learn to read, write ect. Let your lovley daughter learn at her own pace and follow her interests.

My daughter is nearly 3 and she can recognise some numbers and letters. She knows A for Apple, m for mummy etc. She is obsessed with her ABC book at the moment, I wish she'd want proper stories!

So it's not muh but mm etc. Don't put an u sound on the end of sounds. Have a look online and there may well be videos showing the correct pronunciation and letter formation.

saoirse31 - she has a Pram and a pile of Disney princess dolls that we bought for her and they're back gathering dust in the corner along with the sylvanian families and toot toot drivers range

She has jigsaws, games that she loves and we're in the process of upgrading her orchard games. Teddys are taking over my house a she enjoys playing vets and had a medical set to aid in this.

The educational toys came about as she wasn't playing with the toys she had at home despite rotating them etc and she gravitated towards one particular marble run type toy at a play group so we replicated some of these toys at home and her interest has grown so weve added to it.

Peng - we think a rounded education with practical examples is a better foundation than theoretical and text book I suppose.

Also the primary school that my dh and I attended did projects where all subjects were taught around that project through out the school term

It doesn't sound that rounded if she has limited books, no writing materials or letter toys. My DC never went to nursery but we had all of the toys your dd has,they did all your DC does and we managed to include reading/ writing toys and activities too. Wasn't that hard.

Reading and writing is crucial for being good at STEM too. No good being good at science if you can't read your notes,write legible writing,spell well or draw a neat graph/ diagram.

I have kids good at STEM and believe me the above skills are crucial in secondary school.

Peng

The OPs children will not be one of those. She understands and has the resources available to her to be on board with what school requires

I'm a reception teacher. She won't be behind if she can't read. Recognising and having a go at writing her name would be great.

STEM stuff and messy play is great as it extends their curiosity and questioning skills.

I actually wish parents wouldn't push children to learn to read before reception, the number of parents I have that happily inform me their child knows all their sounds only to realise they can't pronounce them properly because they've been taught incorrectly is huge (tuh, muh, nuh etc) it actually makes our life a bit harder.

sowhatusernameisnttaken
here

Books were regularly read throughout the day in our house because the kids brought them to us and knew that we'd never refuse to read a book. Learning the letters just evolved naturally. The same as counting steps as you walk up them or counting things aloud over the course of a day as the opportunity cropped up.
No forced learning but encouraging natural curiosity in a fun way. The same way as she's learnt what a T Rex likes to eat. You didn't sit her down and formally teach her that but you used the moment of curiosity to impart information

Let mil do as she wishes. Just emphasise that she shouldn't force her if she's reluctant.

I agree with you ladyvimes

Op, I wouldn't push it, let her be little and enjoy being a toddler. Plenty of time at school to do all that stuff. My ds started reception unable to read and finished with an 'exceeding' in reading. just enjoy reading books with her and let her take the lead.

This thread is hilarious! The child is 3 in Sept which means she isn't starting Reception for another TWO YEARS! And there are some seriously smug posts on here as well.

"muh for mummy, duh for dog" etc - I thought this was phonics?

No, it's mmm and nnnn.

Google jolly phonics...there are lots of songs with actions that you sing and it starts with the most common sounds and not a, b, c etc...lots of videos on you tube etc, it's great.

This thread is hilarious! The child is 3 in Sept which means she isn't starting Reception for another TWO YEARS! And there are some seriously smug posts on here as well.

Totally agree with this! Child is 2!!! She will spend at least 13 years if her life in some form of education... let her enjoy being little and explore her surroundings and learn things at her own pace with no pressure from MIL!
As for whoever made out that learning to read before getting to reception is pretty much THE entry requirement for Cambridge... really?! And as if that is the be all and end all...

Erm...nope. The national GCSE pass rate for English Language remains stubbornly at around 63%. That is over a third of 16 year olds who can't really read and write. Something is very wrong there.

Yes but I don't think the low GCSE pass mark is due to kids not learning their letters when they are 2 and 3 years old.

The government is pushing and funding early years education because it has a big impact on attainment further down the line.

The ones who are furthest behind usually stay that way.
The gap grows, not shrinks.
I think if she is reading books to her - that's literacy isn't it? Don't you want her to do that?
Some words you can't do with phonics, so you have to use a range of strategies anyway.

These are the children who at five and six can't read properly.

Most five and six year olds can't 'read properly'. Most five and six year olds are still going through the reading schemes and building the skills to be able to read.