To not understand parents crying at the end of infant school

[SEsofty]

So today my eldest left infant school, and will be continuing onto the junior school along with ninety percent of the year.

I was surrounded by parents crying their eyes out, incredibly upset. I simply don't understand.

So could someone please explain to me why lots of people are crying simply because their child is going onto the next year of school.

Aibu to not understand?

You must remember, this is MN. Competitive not giving a shit about anything is par for the course.

You have to realise op most if not all of these children would have started here when they were 4 years old. They have spent 7 years with the same familiar faces and now they will be small fish in a big pond mixing with 16 year olds. It's a big thing for the parents and children.

I have the hide of a rhino about most things - my job brings me into contact with some real horrors - but seeing my little boy up there, singing his heart out with his friends, when he's been through so much... I am so, so, proud of that kid. And I'm not ashamed if it shows a little bit.

You have a point kmc1111. Primary schools and secondaries do a huge amount of work preparing the children and getting them excited, normalising the transition so the children are as calm as they can be, excited and looking forward to it.
When they see parents crying hysterically and making a massive fuss must be totally confusing for the children. I'm also willing to bet that thr parents who treat secondary subject teachers like a primary teacher (think updates on normal friendship issues, notes about homework not being done because they were busy at the weekend, wanting to know why each subject can't call them up for an update after 3 weeks) are probably the ones who've hyped transition to be some massive thing rather than a fun and exciting moment in life.

MadMags It's not competitive not giving a shit. It's about realising that we are the adults in a situation and that it's perfectly possible to show emotion and be proud/excited without making an eye roll worthy fuss/scene.

Maybe the junior school is shit.

I have seen a few leavers assemblies and when the teacher's cry or a child gets a mention who has shown resilience through their time at the school, it gets me. Our children spend a lot of time at school and have close attachments to their teachers, they can feel like a second/third parent sometimes.

Sometimes watching kids sing or perform at these assemblies makes me well up because they're so innocent and have the world at their feet. I held it together at DS's y6 leaving assembly because I'm excited about him moving on. But when he won a special award I did cry, through pride and happiness not sadness.

Being so emotionally incontinent that you literally descend into a ball of loud sobs at your child's leaving assembly is utterly pathetic in my opinion. Yes, i understand the sadness and even some tears, but I thought it was either toddlers or those who've experienced a genuine calamity that legitimately could be expected to have so little self-control.

AIBU to cry reading this thread? I didn't cry at eldest dc's leaver's assembly today but the tough of all these little people being slightly less little and moving on in the world is bittersweet.

I'm agog that some pps believe sadness is the only emotion expressed by tears!

It's just emotion whether from pride (the Yiddish word kvelling sums it up beautifully), loss, laughter, sentimentality, regret. Many emotions can cause tears and I'm sad that some still see them as a sign of weakness.

I always remember my late father (born 1915) wiping away tears one day when I was a teenager. When I asked him why, he had simply been moved by the sight of a family clearly caring for and loving a handicapped child. No hope for me I think.

I'm sad that some still see them as a sign of weakness

It's not weakness - it's inappropriate and disproportionate

According to whom, though?

I think we may be talking about different levels of crying. I haven't seen anyone wailing or bawling - but I've seen plenty of mums discreetly wiping a little tear out of the corner of their eye.

Because, as DD (7) says about why she had tears pouring down her cheeks during the leavers songs, "I'm so happy, and so sad at the same time."

The songs are stirring stuff, deliberately chosen by teachers to be tear-jerkers, all about empowerment and going into the future to do good, and support of your friends and stuff. And when the kids start crying the parents start too.

There's also something particularly moving about young voices singing in harmony when they truly believe the hope and idealism in the songs, and seeing their innocent hope and the confidence they can change the world is bittersweet.

I'm quite sad that my my youngest dc willhave her last ever day at nursery tomorrow, she's been there two years and it's flown by. I can't get my head around her going to school, she's still my baby! I'll probably shed a tear or two when no one is looking 😶

I also got upset when my eldest did her leaving yr6 assembly...it's just sad to see them growing so fast

Op you do understand the obviously
You just don't feel the urge to cry yourself . Which is fine

*though

It's really not that difficult to understand is it really?

I'm a cryer. I was a wreck when DD left nursery. And when my older DDs left year 6. And even when they left a school they had only attended for one year. I also cried, in public, when my nanny left for maternity leave.
I wish I didn't cry, I find it embarrassing, but I can't do anything about it.

Didn't think I was going to shed a tear at DDs leaving assembly at all. Not until 60 little voices all beautifully sang "Proud" together and hearing "I'm on my way, can't stop me now..." finished me off completely!!

And don't get me started on the last song they all sang together at the end. They are splitting to go to 3-4 different middle schools and finished their last assembly together with "Sing"
"Sing it stronger, sing together, make this moment last forever.."
Tissues needed all round!

If I cry when youngest DC leaves school, they will be tears of joy. Planning to dance a jig in the playground while waiting for the Leavers' Assembly!!

Am not made of stone. Cry at stupid things all the time. Just not about kids growing up (am I supposed to prefer the alternative?)

I cried at ds1's leaver's assembly yesterday. Partly because one of the girls I'd never have expected to be upset was sobbing her heart out. Partly because they played an emotional song over a slide show of photos of them then and now. Partly because we've know quite a few of them since they were 2 years old and the last 9 years have gone in the blink of an eye. Partly because it was a reminder that we should have already been to a leaver's assembly the previous year but didn't as our eldest child died. So very bittersweet.

Gentle- so sorry to read your post - no wonder you were upset at the assembly. Things such as that must make life that little bit harder for you all.
Music, as i said up thread, always makes me tearful at these type of events.they always choose the saddest music too.
Lots of cold hearted people around though who never cry. my dh is one of them!

Oh well clearly we are all different

Did it really take the thread for you to understand that?

DD1 had her primary school leavers service last year and I was fine.

DD2 has hers this morning and I may be a bit emotional as it means primary school is no more for us but ultimately happy that I will not be doing that school run ever again as they will now both be able to walk to school.