Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand parents crying at the end of infant school

311 replies

SEsofty · 20/07/2017 15:59

So today my eldest left infant school, and will be continuing onto the junior school along with ninety percent of the year.

I was surrounded by parents crying their eyes out, incredibly upset. I simply don't understand.

So could someone please explain to me why lots of people are crying simply because their child is going onto the next year of school.

Aibu to not understand?

OP posts:
2ducks2ducklings · 20/07/2017 19:49

Laundryelf- I blame the teachers tooWink
They knew what they were doing when they started playing 'Goodbye' by the Spice Girls as we walked into the hall. Or 'Never Forget' by Take That as they projected the photos of the kids who'd spent the last 7 years growing up together.
I get that some people find it irritating or a bit Hmm, but I honestly couldn't help it. It wasn't attention seeking as I was genuinely mortified on the Nursery playground and I didn't want my then 3 year old children to think there was something sad about going to primary school. Luckily my kids just think I'm a bit crazy and think it's all very funny.
They also need to know it's ok to cry too though.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 20/07/2017 19:54

If you think that's bad wait until year 6. Our hall was swimming with parents teachers and children's tears.

End of an era and all that.

skislope · 20/07/2017 19:55

Maisy Pops, I burst into tears without meaning to if someone says something remotely kind at the moment. It's an emotional time!!

I suppose there are some people like the ones you describe out there but I don't see it. Sounds odd behaviour all that wailing and that. I just find it hard not to cry and I hate that.

LittleBooInABox · 20/07/2017 19:56

It could be the last child, so their upset that's the end of the chapter.

It could be an only child and not by choice, so again upset.

Don't be so heartless,

randomer · 20/07/2017 19:58

Blimey what would you do if something really bad happened

skislope · 20/07/2017 19:58

Also you have no idea how others are feeling and what's going on in their lives. This could be a trigger for something else you know.

GreenTulips · 20/07/2017 19:59

It could be the last child, so their upset that's the end of the chapter

How about saving it till they get home? Or stay home - I've heard loud sobs and it's embarrassing to see grown woman crying so much - they aren't dead!

It's just so self serving

Merhaba · 20/07/2017 20:02

I didn't cry at all when DC1 left their primary school. Indeed I scoffed at all the silly parents who were getting emotional. When it was DC2's turn to leave I cried for days. As LittleBoo says it was the end of an era - in our case 10 years of the same school, same headmaster (who was also leaving), wonderful teachers and the DCs' friendships (the year group was scattering quite widely).

AwaywiththePixies27 · 20/07/2017 20:04

How about saving it till they get home? Or stay home - I've heard loud sobs and it's embarrassing to see grown woman crying so much - they aren't dead!

Why? What's embarrassing about crying? It is just an emotion after all.

Laughter is an emotion. No one ever tells you to stop laughing. People shouldn't be told or made to feel like they cant be sad too.

ReesesPeanutButterCups · 20/07/2017 20:23

I didn't cry but I did feel old and I absolutely understand why some people would cry.

Silvercatowner · 20/07/2017 20:32

It's just so self serving

It really isn't - stop reading stuff into it that isn't there.

We're all different. We react in different ways. Why does it bother you so much?

lazycrazyhazy · 20/07/2017 20:39

I cry when I see infants singing Christmas songs or doing nativity plays. I think it's the innocence and the fact that in a few years time they'll be hairy, smelly teenagers (much as that is a fun phase too).

MsHarry · 20/07/2017 20:41

lazy me too, I only have to hear the opening bars of Little Donkey and I'm gone! Doesn't help working in a C of E primary school!

MsHarry · 20/07/2017 20:44

As for saving it until you get home, I don't have that sort of control. I don't sob but tears roll and I get a big lump in my throat. It's spontaneous. I cry at the cinema too and in my car if a certain song comes on.

BarbarianMum · 20/07/2017 20:45

Of course i want my children to grow up. Who wouldnt, given the alternative? But i occasionally miss the children they used to be, much as i love the people they are now. And, given how much i love our lives, I do sometimes find the way we are all relentless hurtling towards the grave a bit dispiriting.

Ds1 leaves primary tomorrow. All fine. But in 2 years when ds2 leaves too i think I will be upset. I'll be cutting ties with a place and people who have been hugely important to us for 9 years. That's never easy to do.

Fruitcorner123 · 20/07/2017 20:47

Do you usually find it hard to see things from other people's perspectives?

The passing of time can be bittersweet. Will you be emotional when your child reaches any landmarks? What bout when they leave home, get married etc.

Even if you can't feel emotional about these things can you honestly not see why others might? It's perfectly normal!

Eolian · 20/07/2017 20:50

I can understand parents being upset if they see their child is upset. I was verging on tearful when someone else's child was beside himself at the yr 6 leavers' service - it was so sad!
But I think being upset at your child moving on to new things is not great when your child is fine about it. It seems a bit selfish and self-indulgent tbh. I love seeing my children go onto the next step in life. I don't like the idea of constantly wishing youf child would stay the age they are

DixieNormas · 20/07/2017 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScruffbagsRUs · 20/07/2017 21:05

I must be made of stone as I didn't shed a tear at DD (our last DC) leaving primary school. Neither did I cry at DS's primary school leaver's service last year. I got some funny looks when I realised that most of the parents were bawling their eyes out and I was just sitting there all proud and excited that DD was going to 'big' school (secondary school).

I've loved seeing my kids grow up and it has been very interesting to see who they have become, and who they will be when they go through those stages of maturity throughout their lives.

Notonthestairs · 20/07/2017 21:09

I'm in the same boat as DixieNormas and saying goodbye to an amazing TA that has supported my ASD child all the way through Infants - she's been amazing and we will miss her. Things have not been improved by the school telling me and my child that the TA would move with her and then deciding TODAY that she won't be...
So yeah I might cry tomorrow - judge away.

PeppaPigObsession · 20/07/2017 21:14

I cried when my 2 year old moved from the Baby Room to the Toddler Room at Nursery.

It was a mixture of happiness and sadness.

Happiness because she has extra needs and despite them she moved on a few months behind the other children she started Nursery with.

But sadness because DD is likely to be an only child and I was sad I'd never have "baby" again.

Fanjango · 20/07/2017 21:22

I shed a tear last year when twins left primary. Not for the loss of the school but because I knew ds simply wasn't ready. Now diagnosed asd with phobic anxiety he hasn't been to school since September. I guess I knew that was coming hence the tears. Some people have genuine reasons for the tears, not all like the drama. We are living it. Sad

Roomba · 20/07/2017 21:25

Well I got very emotional today when DS1 finished Y6. I didn't shed a tear when he started school and am not generally the sort of person who sheds a tear at this stuff. I didn't cry out of sadness at all! It was more just feeling overwhelmed with pride after watching the leavers' assembly. They've all grown up so much and done so well, and I was feeling proud of DS for overcoming things which made life hard in primary too.

One of the class sadly died this year too, so many of us shed a tear thinking that they should have been there today.

I'm certainly not distressed or upset by DS growing older or time passing - it was the absolute opposite as it was a happy tear (not buckets, that would definitely not be my style!).

peppaisapig · 20/07/2017 21:28

I cried when my dd started pre school, left preschool, started reception and now feeling sad she's leaving reception. Without doubt I will be one of the crying mums when she leaves primary Sad im very emotional about these things!

kmc1111 · 20/07/2017 21:32

I found it incredibly weird. At my DC's leaving ceremonies it wasn't just people with a few tears running down their face, it was full blown hysterical sobbing from dozens of parents.

I felt bad for the kids. They came out all excited and smiley and quickly started looking nervous and scared. Moving on should be something they're made to feel great about, but the reaction from parents very clearly freaked a lot of them out.