To not understand parents crying at the end of infant school

[SEsofty]

So today my eldest left infant school, and will be continuing onto the junior school along with ninety percent of the year.

I was surrounded by parents crying their eyes out, incredibly upset. I simply don't understand.

So could someone please explain to me why lots of people are crying simply because their child is going onto the next year of school.

Aibu to not understand?

My child isn't leaving but half his class cane out crying this afternoon and surprisingly mainly the boys! There are y3 so plenty more years at school yet they have just had an amazing teacher that they were sad to leave the knock on effect was lumps in throats and tears from the parents it's very hard not to when surounded by your child and there friends crying ! human nature I guess!

I understand why people have a little cry.
I really hate it when people compare it to a bereavement though. That makes me want to punch them.

Being a bit tearful that your little one is moving on and growing up is natural.
Wailing and making a big deal about it is not, its annoying.

I didn't cry at my children moving from y2 to Y3.
But finishing Primary school... yes! I'm sad that they're leaving after 7 years even though I'm happy they're growing up, I remember my 4 yr old DD starting school as if it was yesterday and now she's 11. It's amazing what happens in a blink of an eye (trying to remind myself it was a long painful 7 years of shouting about reading books, missing uniform etc)

Then again, I'm not sure if OP meant leaving an infants school and going to a junior school on a different site? Not sure if I'd cry then or not.

For those people who understood that I was talking about the transition from year two to year three, you have nailed it.

I fully understand feeling emotional about children leaving primary school and the end of childhood etc

I don't understand crying buckets because your child has moved from year two to year three.

Oh sorry, I must have misinterpreted/misread!
In that case yanbu at all!!!

Education is not a luxury but a necessity, like clean air and water, shelter and safety. Would that all children had those things.
As a teacher I'd be concerned at the effect on small children of sobbing adults. Some must wonder how bad things are going to be at the next stage of their education!
Since my first year teaching I've alway had a tear in my eye at infants singing Away in a Manger. More recently grandsons in choirs tug my heartstrings. Including for some odd reason 11 year olds singing What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor? and slumping against each other at the end!
In teaching I still get shivers down my spine from a Christmas production. My class reenacted the Christmas Truce football game. The two groups slowly and cautiously approached each other, one holding a football and heads held high. I think it was that these 21stcentury inner city 10 year olds really got the tension of that moment a hundred years ago.

Okay, so I privately went and balled my eyes out when my dh started school. Struggled to contain them in front of parents, teachers and dh. Reason for me? Dh was seriously unwell after birth. It was touch and go for a long time. She made it, and against the odds is st school with her peers. No need for me to tell people this, other parents don't need our history, but for that reason it was massively emotional for me.

That won't be everyone's story, but parents are allowed to get emotional and shouldn't need to explain themselves. You don't need to understand or join in, but you do need to be sympathetic to the fact that it's a big emotional deal for some parents, and that doesn't need to be dismissed.

Oh for goodness sake... meant dd not dh!

For all those who did shed a tear or 2 did your parents do the same when you were at school?

I only ask as I was never told I was moving up to a different school (70's/80's) I didn't realise I had moved on to high school. There were no assemblies about moving on and no end of year signing shirts or anything. We were sent home with a letter addressed to parents wishing us luck in the future. There were no opportunities for my parents to shed a tear or reflect on the last 6 years or anything.

I was genuinely surprised when half the parents burst into tears on the last day of primary for my eldest (24yrs old so a while ago). For me it was an exciting time with everything to look forward to in the junior/high schools not a time to be upset about what theyre leaving behind.

Im a bit like the OP really. I dont really understand why you would get so upset when theres such a wonderfully exciting few years ahead of them.

I also really dislike this trend for leavers hoodies at primary schools. I've never bought one as DD and DS said they wouldn't be seen dead in them especially once they move onto high school. Who wants to have their primary school emblazoned across their back once theyre in high school?

I didn't cry. I was glad DS was leaving primary school.

The only time I cried was when I left DD at uni. But i was brave and did not cry in front of her as I did not want to make her feel more anxious. I drove around corner parked in a little car park and then cried before driving home.

I have never cried when they moved up a school. When DS moved up only 1 child in whole year did not move with him.

Well I sobbed at my son's leavers assembly when he finished Primary. Not so much sad at the passing of time, but I was getting a bit sniffy with pride of all that he's achieved and when he received an award it tipped me over the edge.

Fri 21-Jul-17 08:41:14. It's ok though Kate, I'd much rather be like us, than them

Oh for gods sake, how do you cope in real bloody life??!!

What an incredibly bitchy comment to aim at me.

11 yo leaving her Primary School, her much loved teachers, other staff & friends to go to Senior School IS 'real life'.

Those people who have been a big part of our lives for a long time will never all be together again. It's a lovely, close knit school with amazing staff who really care about the girls. It's been lovely seeing the girls grow up this far together & I was sad that's coming to an end.

Fine if you don't feel the same, but there's no need to be so bloody nasty.

YANBU. It's ridiculous and pointless.

MrsDeV I'm so sorry if my analogy (all marriages end in death/divorce, so passage of time can upset) was distressing. I really do understand that a child maturing is in no way analogous to bereavement. I hope that was clear.

As an aside, I have no time for parents who cry in front of kids. It's not good for them, surely? Teary moments are not for small eyes.

Why is showing children it's ok to show your emotions not good?

Yes, sleepone, stiff upper lip and all that. For goodness sake, no emotions in front of the children- they'll start thinking it's all right to feel weakness, uncertainty, empathy and we cannot have that.

I had tears streaming down my face the whole time and was baffled how the other parents could sit there tight arsed and composed. Every one is different.

Goodness, my oldest leaving primary sent me for a very difficult loop. I was very sad, contemplating the closing of one chapter and yes - I suppose, mortality.

I found my teariness very embarrassing (I wasn't the only one, mind you). It was most definitely not self-serving.

My daughter has just left year 5. I know I'll be crying at her year 6 leavers mass. She started reception bald and bloated from chemo. At the time I didn't even know if she would live to make it to junior school, so yes, while there are parents whose children will never meet these milestones (and I am one of them as my first daughter was stillborn at 42 weeks), it doesn't mean others can't get emotional at their children reaching them. Plus they pick songs that are designed to p,uck at your heartstrings!

I cried at the Year 6 ceremony this year. Seeing all the children so grown up, and remembering what they were like they were 3 is emotional. The children are all beautiful, and strong and I am so proud of them all. The end of primary really does signal the end of childhood - my oldest ones were teenagers just a couple weeks after starting secondary.

It is appropriate to reflect that this time is coming to a close. This is my third child at the school, I've been a governor, and have invested heavily in the school. I'll be sad to leave it behind.

I don't wish they weren't leaving. But I note that this has been a lovely chapter in my life, and I am sad to see it pass. The next chapter will be lovely too. I'll probably cry at the end of that one too.

I don't choose to cry. I don't decide to cry. I sometimes just cry. I had to distract myself not to blubber.

What got me today at the yr6 leavers was not my dd, who will be fine, but the kidswho have had difficult lives - school being stable in their chaos. Hard to watch them very upset about leaving.

OP, our school has a different playground and different hall for KS1 and ks2, so leaving y2 can be quite a milestone, all the more if it's your last child. In some schools it's not the end of a chapter but in some it really is.
I am a person who cries at everything. Happy-cry. Sad-cry. Angry-cry. Frustrated-cry. I wish I didn't but it's just the way I'm made. I feel enormously sentimental at the end of every chapter or stage while also being hugely excited about the one that lies ahead. Holding those two things in tension... Makes me cry!