New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

anchor9

You sound about 12

I drink while breastfeeding. Not at six days post-partum though. It's bloody stupid to go for a long night out at that stage when you're still establishing supply and in all likelihood baby will be feeding very frequently indeed. You'd end up expressing in the toilets. I thought it was a bit misguided as an idea when I assumed she was bottle feeding. If she wants to breast feed I'd suggest it's a good thing for friends to try and talk her out of it.

I'd judge her too.

Newborns need to be with their mothers, the ones they've spent the last 9 months with. It's a biological urge.

It's not the same for dads, because being a father (to a newborn) is not the same as being a mother (to a newborn).

OP said, she's never gone out and not gotten drunk.

Gosh, how many babies has she had?

I think a breastfed baby away from its mother for four hours at that age may well become extremely upset.

Once more - this baby does have a father as well

Yes and if a new mother posted on here about her DP/DH doing the same with a 6 day old baby, you would be shouting for her to LTB.

Going out for a few drinks with lunch or an evening meal and a few drinks is entirely different from going to a club til the early hours of the morning.

So the poor woman hasn't even gone out yet

And already she has got wasted and stayed out til the early hours

Or she could go out , have a few drinke and be home by midnight

Who knows

Pengggwn And my DH can't have our baby all day because he's not ff. Is your point we all have different situations and therefore different views?

Drinks

Not drinke

Thats a bit too close to drinkies

Why would we care what someone claiming to be a midwife thinks? What difference does that make?

A massive difference. She knows more than you.

I haven't read the whole thread, but yes I would judge a bit, in my head. I couldn't imagine anything worse myself. Maybe she's having a tough time and wants to feel 'normal' again. Maybe she's not bonding with the baby and wants to be away for a bit. Or maybe she just had an easy delivery and easy post birth few days and fancies a night out? If the baby is safe, warm and fed with another loving adult, he/she will be fine, but I agree that it is a bit of a strange thing to do so soon after giving birth.

A massive difference. She knows more than you

Does she? How do you know that? Perhaps I'm Queen of the Gynaecologists and the closest your woman got to being a midwife is meeting one?
You have no idea.

Oh dear op you are not allowed to judge mum's

But put the question about a new father doing the same thing

It's pants a parent leaving a baby so soon to go out clubbing yes pregnancy can be difficult and restrictive but it's what happens when you have a baby you make a choice and take responsibility

And even if she is a midwife, she doesn't know the woman in question, and doesn't know better than she does if she can go out. No-one does.

*OP said, she's never gone out and not gotten drunk.

Gosh, how many babies has she had?*

Please don't try and turn my comment into something it's not. My comment was in reply to someone saying she might go out and not drink.

Things I've done with a baby that age: moved house, hosted and run a child's birthday party, looked after two other children including a mental toddler, been on a day put to the zoo. It's possible she just really really likes clubbing.

"Clubbing" to most people means 7pm-2am usually drinks in a bar first, and a lot of alcohol and most of the next day feeling a bit incapacitated.. That's why it's different to going to a spa, having drinks at The Rotary club or watching the ballet. I don't think it's a snobby thing.

Yes, she might get dressed up, pay an extortionate fee to get in the club, have 2 drinks and leave after an hour. That's possible..

Pengggwn Well I obviously read far too much into your anecdote.

Clubbing" to most people means 7pm-2am usually drinks in a bar first, and a lot of alcohol and most of the next day feeling a bit incapacitated

To some people maybe. I personally don't know anyone who leaves the house before 10.30-11pm to go clubbing.

Well yes, clubbing to me means out til the morning, very messy and drug fuelled.. I'm assuming this friend won't be like me.

My point was, Clubbing generally means BIG NIGHT OUT.

Yes and if a new mother posted on here about her DP/DH doing the same with a 6 day old baby, you would be shouting for her to LTB.

If they're both OK with it, then only an idiot would say that.

It's not the worry that the childs needs won't be met, after all assuming there is another carer on the scene the child won't even notice the mother is gone.

Its the fact that this woman can't even go for 1 week without needing to have this level of break away from her newborn. She has a hell of a long road ahead of her - is she going to need this sort of 'break' every weekend? Or are people fine with a mum going clubbing every weekend because it's 'her choice'?

It's not just one week though, is it? It's pregnancy, birth and then a week.

And personally I would be fine with a mum taking one night a week off from parenting, providing the child is properly looked after by the father/grandparents/family dog.