To want to cry at all the school demands for money??

[BrieAndChilli]

Most of it doesn't have to be paid until September but still...

£220 for DS1 year 6 residential trip
£100 for DDs overnight trip
£18 x 3 for fruit snacks for next term
£55 for mincraft club that DS2 wants to do
£2 each for trip to ruins ( in our small village so we have been to a million times (no exaggeration!)
£1 each for the priviledge of leaving thier shoes at school on the last day and coming home barefoot!

Not unrelated but £10 for each classes teacher collections = £30

Oh and DS2 needs to dress as a big on Thursday!

Oh and for the first 2 weeks of the holidays they are going to holiday club for 1/2 days which is going to be £500

Oh plus need to buy new uniform/shoes too, even buying cheaply is a fortune (and DS2 shoes that we bought 2 months ago from deichman cheaply have already got holes in the soles)

Kids are going to have to play in the garden all summer and eat bread and water!!!

There's been loads of articles about how it costs average of £240,000 to raise a kid till the age of 18 and it's this kind of stuff that adds up-the constant shoes, food, consumer products, tat, presents, extra electricity and heating costs, loss of income or childcare fees etc, and they only get increasingly expensive each year. The free education and healthcare must be a huge weight off compared to other countries though.

Why don't just buy your own fruit? It would be a lot cheaper. The £10 for the teachers present is not compulsory.

I am shouting that I NEED them because my little darlings each have two pairs of shoes, one being school shoes.

They want to be the same as all the other little darlings and leave their bloody shoes behind.

Perhaps they won't still fit them in 6 weeks time when they go back to school but they might. Either way should we need to go somewhere in the next few weeks that needs something that isn't sandals they'll need to wear their school shoes.

The shoe thing us bonkers.

Please ignore the teacher collection if you can't afford it. Having just sorted ours this year I completely understood why not everyone contributed. No explanation necessary.

Lots of things on your list are entirely optional.

You simply need to prioritise which you will opt into and which you won't. Get over the idea that your kids need to have everything that is available....they don't and especially do t need to if you can't afford it. Choose carefully and say no to some things and if they are of the age to be involved in choosing, let them have limited input into this too.

You seem to have opted for very expensive holiday activities. These seem to be the issue not £3 charity donation to be honest.

Just think ahead a bit more and toughen up and say no to some of these things or look for cheaper options. A lot of this is in your control.

Unfortunately all these demands for money are because schools are on their knees financially. The funding cuts are hitting hard, and schools are having to rely more and more on the goodwill of the parents.

I really sympathise with you OP.
When our older two were in y6 and the residential came up, half the class couldn't afford to go, or justify the cost.
For us it would have meant no days out for the other two either as the money would have been spent on one child.
It was a no brainer, their teacher stayed at school with them and a PE teacher from another school accompanied the residential.
The remaining 15 had a great time at local pool, doing crafts in the park, climbing trees etc. They met up with the kids from other schools and their teachers too.
When the residential lot got home it was them that were talking about having missed out on the fun
Now, parents wouldn't stand up and say these things cost too much, they feel pressurized to get involved with these things.
Kids love going to clubs and doing activities and parents are conned into believing they aren't doing their best for their kids if they don't sign up.
I feel so sorry for young parents these days.

If think mine would feel left out if everyone was donating shoes. Mine has one pair of trainers, and one pair of shoes for general wear.

Yanbu. I have had a cry in the bathroom before after the endless money demands. I find November the worst though as it's just leading up to Christmas so money is tight anyway and that's when they start with the school photos, the residential trip for the following September, the contributions for the xmas fete, raffle tickets, Christmas jumpers, children in need, money money money! When you are already on a tight income it's horrible.

Year 7 residential trip first week of school

Never heard of this ! Round here it's all about settling in, getting used to new building, teachers , making friends!

It HAS become more expensive and I praise the schools that do think about parental budgets. I'm also grateful they offer opportunities/we'd complain if they didn't.

But there are aspects that really grate:

My dcs schools moved to academy status - what was a reasonably priced logo jumper & everything else available from a supermarket is now a suit, shirt, tie, jumper, PE shirt & PE shorts each with the school crest. One jumper costs £25 - not £6 from Asda. It's a state school not private.

My dc2's school bus, an eye-watering £800 pa.

To afford it I'm scrapping all the extra curricular activities my dcs do in sport & music. I feel guilty about that as they enjoy it/are pretty decent but I'm a lone parent in a public service job and sady I can't afford it for them.

If more parents stood up and said they couldn't afford these things then the children not having them wouldn't feel left out.

The only thing I made sure we paid for were the necessary things and anything else had to go.
The teachers always got a cheap/ or handmade card and present at the end of the year. Sometimes the kids would buy a small bar chocolate or a cheap bunch of flowers from their pocket money.
I don't like charity days as I like to choose my own if I can afford to donate, so never sent anything for this.
Snacks, I'd buy enough for half a term really cheaply, now they have fruit I'd buy it a couple of times a week as they needed it.
For the minecraft can he not invite a couple of friends over to play at home rather than spending out for a club.
Unless the summer clubs are for childcare could you not just do fun cheap things together, do you have a garden, local park, swimming pool etc.

£220 for DS1 year 6 residential trip, £100 for DDs overnight trip

Cut these out then.
They're not mandatory.

DS has just finished Y7.

they have done: Residential to get to know one another (around £80)
Various trips shooting: £23 each Trip to France £375 also paying for ski trip to USA next Feb £1650. Now have heard of another trip to Spain and am a bit . There are also a few one day trips at around £30. on top of school dinners, and snacks etc. and uniform. I think it gets much more on secondary, my youngest has just had couple of clubs to pay for - judo around £75 a term, computers (£35 a term) and cubs which is about £35. Think he has a residential next year.

Cut out Yr 6 residential? That would be a bit mean- everyone goes on them. If really struggling school would help with that. Think they would be keen for everyone to go- ours would.

Year 7 start of year residential is about making new friends etc

Just wanted to say..the Sal's shoes thing isn't just school shoes -you could send in any sensible outgrown shoes in decent nick. (I am hoping my dc school shoes make it through next 3 days tbh!)

Fruit is £18 per child not for three, so approx 27p. I think that's reasonable really.

I'm dreading residentials - ours are £350 in year 5 and £500 in year 6. I have 3 dc including twins so the twins will be £700 one year then £1k the next. I could have a nice family holiday for £1700! 😩

Re residential:
Cut these out then. They're not mandatory

Right but no one wants to put their dc in the shitty position of being left out do they?

Secondary school residential are usually a small percentage of the year going but in primary everyone goes except 1 or 2 dc.

I agree about the residentials, kids only feel like they're missing out if you let them.
Mine suggested they felt left out, but when I told them the reality of the residentials and what they were actually missing out on compared to what they'd be allowed to do by not going, they were glad they weren't going and we had a great summer holiday with lots of fun activities for the same price.
When you are a parent you can teach and influence the way your children feel by the information you give them.
Having never gone on a school residential all 3 of our kids would tell you they missed nothing.

With respect gilybean, if the haven't been on a residential they have no idea if they missed out.

You're perfectly entitled to not send them but you don't know what they missed. As a child my parents couldn't afford to send me on a trip which I totally understood but when everyone else came back and talked non stop about it I did feel left out and I remember that feeling still.

DD never went on any residentials at primary school. Quite a few didn't go. It wasn't just one or two. She didn't go on the year 7 one for health reasons, but didn't feel she was missing out. The kids were camping in atrocious weather and she was happy to stay home.

I think schools often do not realise how much people struggle.

They know who's on free school meals but lots of people won't claim them because of stigma and others would not complain to school about requests for money because they would do anything to avoid being seen to be struggling.

All schools should have an anonymous suggestion/comments box so that people can make their point without being embarrassed. Many other organisations which are publicly funded have this.