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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to cry at all the school demands for money??

189 replies

BrieAndChilli · 18/07/2017 17:36

Most of it doesn't have to be paid until September but still...

£220 for DS1 year 6 residential trip
£100 for DDs overnight trip
£18 x 3 for fruit snacks for next term
£55 for mincraft club that DS2 wants to do
£2 each for trip to ruins ( in our small village so we have been to a million times (no exaggeration!)
£1 each for the priviledge of leaving thier shoes at school on the last day and coming home barefoot!

Not unrelated but £10 for each classes teacher collections = £30

Oh and DS2 needs to dress as a big on Thursday!

Oh and for the first 2 weeks of the holidays they are going to holiday club for 1/2 days which is going to be £500 ConfusedShock

Oh plus need to buy new uniform/shoes too, even buying cheaply is a fortune (and DS2 shoes that we bought 2 months ago from deichman cheaply have already got holes in the soles)

Kids are going to have to play in the garden all summer and eat bread and water!!!

OP posts:
Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 18/07/2017 19:37

Teacher presents, We've only ever given one.A really good teacher that all the kids loved,there on supply for a year,accidentally told a class 8yr olds that he liked chilli.I really hope he did!
Otherwise dd spent ages making elaborate cards which made her happy.In secondary school than goodness that had gone.
We did boycott one primary school thing when dd was 5,so nine years ago when they wanted to charge us £12 towards someone who would come to the school and teach them about pirates ffs.Given the level on enthusiasm for pirates at that age the teacher could easily have done something for very little effort.

grannytomine · 18/07/2017 19:37

I've got 4 but they are all grown up now. I help with GCs trips and sometimes buy school shoes and things, my mum did the same for me.

I suggested once that the school should encourage parents to save for the big year 6 trip from reception, so say £10 a term. Much more manageable but they said it was too much work. I always thought it was sad for the kids who couldn't go.

At senior school mine were allowed one ski trip and one other (usually a language exchange which wasn't too expensive,) I think you just have to plan it.

Saw an amazing deal in Aldi, it was a plain jumper, 2 polo shirts and pair of trousers or skirt. I'm pretty sure it was about £4. Don't know what the quality is like.

TittyGolightly · 18/07/2017 19:39

Fruit is free for EYs and KS1

Not UK wide it isn't.

Jux · 18/07/2017 19:39

Could you get some of them sponsored? Find a rich relative and ask. Say whichever one it is will be kind to them in their old age. Wink

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 18/07/2017 19:42

Skiing trip here but Dd not going,it comes in a £2000plus their ski gear hire,plus they want to add in some dry slope practise.
I've told her that when she leaves home she could get a cheaper trip with a bunch of friends that would be far more fun.

DisorderedAllsorts · 18/07/2017 19:42

Time to flog their toys in a car boot sale/ebay and put it towards the school expenses.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 18/07/2017 19:43

Those things are all optional. Most do a residential in set years so it's known well in advance.

I never understand the complaining that children come with costs, it's not like it's unknown. Most seem to think everyone else should fund them.

ParadiseCity · 18/07/2017 19:46

I get it OP, it's like when the car needs new tyres it's always the same week the washing machine goes up it. Too much at once!!

Our school is doing the shoes thing, it is totally optional and they take in spare shoes to walk home through the broken glass and flaming dog turds etc. Plus they can take any old/small shoes they want, doesn't have to be their school ones. Yes we wpuld recycle them anyway but it's nice to do things as a school sometimes.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 18/07/2017 19:48

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I don't have school age children, but when I did I thought the some of the requests for money were excessive, and some of the trips were unrealistically expensive. It seems that this has only got worse. And the shoe thing is bonkers.

chocolateworshipper · 18/07/2017 19:48

Confused re all the panic about the shoes! Our school are doing it - the kids MAY donate a pair of shoes they have out-grown and OF COURSE can bring another pair to wear home if they are donating their school shoes

Bluntness100 · 18/07/2017 19:50

It's not really school demands though, it's trips, clubs and some fruit. Confused

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 18/07/2017 19:51

And presents for teachers, when did that become a thing!?

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 18/07/2017 19:54

But why are they selling fruit? And why have the trips and clubs become so expensive. Clubs used to be free. And if a school trip costs more than a fortnight for four on the Med it is overpriced. Someone upthread mentioned £2000 for skiing. That is excessive.

Afterthenight · 18/07/2017 19:55

Seriously though the shoe thing.
They only donate if it isn't likely that their shoes will fit in September and they do home in their trainers

TheSolitaryBoojum · 18/07/2017 19:55

I got used to saying no. Children have to learn that parents can't afford everything, a new car, a holiday, a club. It's tough but it's also reality.

Anasnake · 18/07/2017 19:55

Our school did the shoe thing - it was for charity - donate your old school shoes if you won't be needing them any more, totally optional, the school gets pictures of the kids wearing them at the other end and all our kids went home in trainers/pumps.

Haint · 18/07/2017 19:56

And OF COURSE my children aren't going to want to join in with leaving their bloody ("cleaned please") shoes behind. If their shoes aren't knackered they're still being worn. we NEED them

I'm sick and tired and stressed by the constant demands for money and cowboy outfits x3 plus a 'donation' for the pleasure.

It's all well and good saying it's a choice. 5 years olds aren't so good at understanding that they can't do what everyone else is doing

We're skint and I don't enjoy explaining, repeatedly, regularly why they can't have pudsy ears, red noses, Poppy Day slap bands, donations to adopt fucking elephants, bizarre themed outfits we just don't happen to have lying around. IT'S TOO MUCH.

coddiwomple · 18/07/2017 19:58

Thoses saying about shouldn't moan as I chose to have 3 kids

You lost me there. I would have loved a big family, but had to make the financial decision to stop. It's a choice, and none of the expenses you mention are that bad.

I think all parents - and I mean ALL - should be expected to contribute a bit more towards schools. First, there's no budget but as importantly they would respect education and the teachers more if they could see some of their money going there. (this is not addressed to the OP, just general comment)

3boys3dogshelp · 18/07/2017 20:00

Haint exactly! My kids want to donate shoes but we don't have any. If we had more than 7 days notice we might have been able to find some to give them but if I do it now I'm giving shoes away that will be worn.

dementedpixie · 18/07/2017 20:02

Our school did sals shoes this year. It didn't need to be their school shoes soon donated a couple of pairs of shoes dd had grown out of (It was for ds's school but his shoes were ok). They coukd take in other shoes to change into if they left their school shoes. Ours asked for any kind of shoes including flip flops

SandyDenny · 18/07/2017 20:02

If you need the shoes don't leave them, how is that hard to understand? Some people must be being deliberately obtuse.

Do you qualify for free school meals OP? Have you approached the school to see if they can help.

Katedotness1963 · 18/07/2017 20:05

One of my eldest teachers wanted to put on a concert. The pupils needed black dress shoes, black trousers/skirt, white dress shirt, red tie. (Non uniform school so we had to buy all this stuff especially). I complained about buying what was basically clothes for a one off concert, teacher assured me that they'd use the clothes again at Christmas.

Then it turned out that parents weren't invited to the one off concert, AND come Christmas the same teacher requested all the kids had red tops and white scarves and gloves. I lost the rag, complained to the teacher and the headmaster. Concert went on with no special clothing requests.

Ginslinger · 18/07/2017 20:06

oh for the love of god will you let the OP have a moan - we've all been there in one way or another where there's something unexpected and it just throws you. Brie Flowers Gin hope it feels better tomorrow

LovelyBath77 · 18/07/2017 20:07

Just been onto Parentpay to pay for something and it says this academic year have paid in total £1272 for trips, dinners etc, I agree it does add up! And that's just for one... (12 yr old DS)

ALittleMop · 18/07/2017 20:08
  1. school should be offering instalment plan for big trips - 6 months for anything over £200
  2. minecraft club is extortionate but optional
  3. teacher gifts - optional and uneccessary, a homemade card and heartfelt thanks - and surely not a demand from school insane overinvested PTA/class rep perhaps
  4. fruit snacks - if school can't do for free (and feel the need to because of poor nutrition/parents in poverty) I think they should forget it, tbh.

YANBU overall, but YABU to moan about stuff you've got control over