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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pooing at the table in the pub garden

211 replies

Freetodowhatiwant · 18/07/2017 10:25

This happened on the weekend but I’m still mulling it over and unsure whether IABU so thought I would open it to the MN jury.

On Sunday we were sitting in a nice pub garden, leafy London suburb, a pub known for its food. Seating is picnic benches, close together, on a patio area with large sun shades above. There is a more open, fake grass area where kids play/people lounge on deckchairs nearby but we weren’t in it.

Picnic benches were all full. We were there with an almost-5 year old and a 2 and a half year old.

At the picnic bench next to us were two couples with two children aged close to 3. The Dad whipped out a potty and asked the small boy if he needed a poo. Small boy sat down for quite a while, as potty training kids do, and after about 10/15 minutes did a massive stinky poo. At the table in the pub/restaurant garden right next to all the other customers.

When they whipped out the potty I couldn’t quite believe it going to happen – I hoped they were just trying to encourage him to sit on it – but when the wall of smell hit me I couldn’t help but say something. I said to DH (a bit too loudly so for that I might have been unreasonable) ‘Oh my god it stinks’ but in my defence I was just so surprised they let the child poo at the table where everyone sits and eats (note: we were still waiting for food, not yet eating). I then said to the parents something along the lines of I know what it’s like to potty train but, really, did you have to do this at the table/could you not have gone somewhere else? They said sorry, walked the potty through all the other customers inside to clean it out in the loo and that was that.

But – WIBU to say something to the parents? Is pooing at the table in a potty something acceptable and I am just a loser about it (admittedly I am really not great with poo smells - I would've hated it even if I was one of the people they walked passed inside carrying an open potty with a poo in it)? I understand, in a way, not wanting to go and stand in the toilets with the potty for ten or 15 mins but when I potty trained my eldest I think I would personally taken the child somewhere less occupied and somewhere where people are not eating and drinking! I realise accidents happen too but this was a deliberate getting the potty out and getting him to have a poo a the table situation.

OP posts:
tamaramcnamara · 19/07/2017 21:28

EUWWWWW!!! An accident is one thing- If the child did it in their pants from not being able to get there in time. But just encouraging child to defecate in an area where people are eating food- no way. I would complain to staff if it were me. And usually I hate complaining to staff.

I think out in a field or somewhere with no public loos in sight is different and understandable.

mumto2two · 19/07/2017 21:52

Sounds like they couldn't be bothered to distract themselves from their pub fayre.
Lazy buggers.

GladGran · 19/07/2017 22:21

I am sorry, but I cannot believe how sanctimonious you are all being. It sounds like you have all had small children at this sort of stage. Had none of you ever done anything like this? You must know how difficult it can be to get children of this age to "go" and I would not have found this unreasonable. First World problem!

TinselTwins · 19/07/2017 22:23

I am sorry, but I cannot believe how sanctimonious you are all being.
Not shitting at a restraunt table = sanctimonious! brilliant!

Had none of you ever done anything like this? um, no!

gingergenius · 19/07/2017 22:26

Gross. And my eldest is autistic and took 18months to toilet train reliably. I STILL would not have got him to poo in a place where significant numbers of other people were eating. No.

Mittens1969 · 19/07/2017 22:30

No, GladGran, I wouldn't have done that! That's something you do at home, putting a child on a potty to try and do a poo, or at a friend's house, in the toilet. I have done it in the living room with the TV on.

I have whipped the potty out when one of our DDs has needed to wee urgently, but outside, and discretely.

NataliaOsipova · 19/07/2017 22:31

Had none of you ever done anything like this?

Absolutely not. I have, however, spent a long time hanging around in pub toilets while waiting for one of my DCs to finish. Which is what this family should have done!

Tapandgo · 19/07/2017 22:32

GladGran
No - never would have done this with my children and know of nobody else who would think of doing it. People dining out have the right to dine in hygienic and pleasant surroundings - not next to a shitting child.

If there are those who think this is acceptable, they should stay at home with their children until they are toilet trained.

This is not a first world problem - this is the problem of parents without any sense of decency inflicting their vile ways on others (and their own child!)

coddiwomple · 19/07/2017 22:36

Had none of you ever done anything like this?

ahem, no. Never put a child on potty anywhere toilets where available, so never had even had a child pooping in my own dining or living room. Or the kitchen even, let alone a public cafe or restaurant.

Why on earth would you? Confused

FluffyPineapple · 19/07/2017 22:46

I am sorry, but I cannot believe how sanctimonious you are all being. It sounds like you have all had small children at this sort of stage. Had none of you ever done anything like this? You must know how difficult it can be to get children of this age to "go" and I would not have found this unreasonable. First World problem!

GladGran No! I have never put any of my children on a potty amid people who are eating. Have you??

KoalaDownUnder · 19/07/2017 22:51

GladGran

Erm, pretty sure you're in the minority there. I don't know anyone who's ever done this, not have I ever seen it.

Mind-boggling that you think it's okay!

SherbrookeFosterer · 19/07/2017 22:51

YANBU - "L'enfer, c'est les autres" as Jean Paul Satre said so eloquently.

BTW - out of curiosity, was it a Wetherspoons pub? If so, you may find even adults pooing under the tables!

mumto2two · 19/07/2017 22:52

Gladgran
Unless you live on a travellers site, or a third world slum, it is generally considered unhygienic to defecate in public.
That applies to all ages, nappies included. Once on a flight, a couple behind us proceeded to change their babies nappy on the seat. The airline staff had pounced in seconds, as there were quite a few unhappy people on board!

ellestyle · 19/07/2017 23:10

Gladgran So you really wouldn't mind someone shitting right next to you when you're eating. Yes it's only a child but a shit is a shit, how could you not be put off your food? It's disgusting.

ruthieruthuk · 19/07/2017 23:18

Thats pretty bad, was there a reason why they didnt take child to toilet?

Littlenic73 · 20/07/2017 00:23

On the subject of the Potette, the Carte d'Or ice cream tub slots in quite well if you don't use the bags and you are using it in an emergency/ boot of car or when camping. At least you can then put the lid on if you can't empty it straight away.

1forAll74 · 20/07/2017 01:47

So bad, So disgusting and truly horrible, hope they never get invited to a Buckingham Palace garden party. Even the Queens corgis would not have a poo near the food tables !!

eatabagofdicks · 20/07/2017 02:08

God I hate potties at the best of times. I trained ds on the toilet with a step stool and and small removable toilet seat. I couldn't do potties. Long time ago now, can't remember what I did when out. Probably just took him into the toilets and held him from falling in.

NotYoda · 20/07/2017 05:35

GladGran

It's becuase we all had small children and managed to train them without encouraging public shitting that we feel strongly about this

Clandestino · 20/07/2017 06:12

GladGran, my DD was successfully potty trained without having to resort to public pooping. We didn't even have a portable potty and went from nappies to toilets. It's all about respect to others, IMHO. Having your child poo publicly means zero respect.

Delilah21D00LoT · 20/07/2017 06:16

That is absolutely disgusting!

MoonPower · 20/07/2017 06:21

YANBU

eviethehamster · 20/07/2017 06:27

YANBU. And I am one who will change a nappy at a table (only wet) and ALWAYS take my babies (even newborn!!) into the bathroom if it's poo!!

Unicornsandrainbows3 · 20/07/2017 06:30

Revolting! Have never and would never do this. Good on you OP for saying something.

AngelaKardashian · 20/07/2017 06:32

Oh my god this is disgusting.