Pooing at the table in the pub garden

[Freetodowhatiwant]

This happened on the weekend but I’m still mulling it over and unsure whether IABU so thought I would open it to the MN jury.

On Sunday we were sitting in a nice pub garden, leafy London suburb, a pub known for its food. Seating is picnic benches, close together, on a patio area with large sun shades above. There is a more open, fake grass area where kids play/people lounge on deckchairs nearby but we weren’t in it.

Picnic benches were all full. We were there with an almost-5 year old and a 2 and a half year old.

At the picnic bench next to us were two couples with two children aged close to 3. The Dad whipped out a potty and asked the small boy if he needed a poo. Small boy sat down for quite a while, as potty training kids do, and after about 10/15 minutes did a massive stinky poo. At the table in the pub/restaurant garden right next to all the other customers.

When they whipped out the potty I couldn’t quite believe it going to happen – I hoped they were just trying to encourage him to sit on it – but when the wall of smell hit me I couldn’t help but say something. I said to DH (a bit too loudly so for that I might have been unreasonable) ‘Oh my god it stinks’ but in my defence I was just so surprised they let the child poo at the table where everyone sits and eats (note: we were still waiting for food, not yet eating). I then said to the parents something along the lines of I know what it’s like to potty train but, really, did you have to do this at the table/could you not have gone somewhere else? They said sorry, walked the potty through all the other customers inside to clean it out in the loo and that was that.

But – WIBU to say something to the parents? Is pooing at the table in a potty something acceptable and I am just a loser about it (admittedly I am really not great with poo smells - I would've hated it even if I was one of the people they walked passed inside carrying an open potty with a poo in it)? I understand, in a way, not wanting to go and stand in the toilets with the potty for ten or 15 mins but when I potty trained my eldest I think I would personally taken the child somewhere less occupied and somewhere where people are not eating and drinking! I realise accidents happen too but this was a deliberate getting the potty out and getting him to have a poo a the table situation.

That is disgusting and YANBU but on the other hand I can see how in the early days of potty training you kind of forget that everyone else is not immune to disgusting bodily functions. Hopefully they'll snap out of their bubble and realise it's grim for everyone else. They might even look back on this in a few years time and think "I can't believe we used to do that sort of thing!"

If anyone had done that in any of the pubs I grew up in they would have been told to leave.

Did the staff react at all or were they unaware?

That's gross. DD still much prefers the potty to the toilet, but in that situation I would take the travel potty into the ladies' so it would all be in its 'rightful place'. I don't think it's all that dignified for the child being expected to poo with an audience either. Doesn't send the best message.

Ugh that makes me feel quite ill.

I would have complained immediately to the management.

I'm glad I'm not BU as I was feeling quite bad about saying something and maybe that I'm not quite the liberal thinker I think I am . The loos are really small so it wouldn't have been fun waiting in there but potty training (and indeed going to the toilet with bigger kids) isn't always fun. Like a PP said go along and take your phone or find a place outside with parked cars or something .

Like I said I'm not great at poo smells so it's still making me feel queasy just remembering it.

That is vile. Some people have no fucking standards.

YANBU.

I can see how in the early days of potty training you kind of forget that everyone else is not immune to disgusting bodily functions.

Nope, I never became unaware of everyone else's feelings. Not at any point while I was training mt kids.

And OP- no I wouldn't have said anything to the parents.
That's the job of the staff, not up to me to get involved in a potential scene.

I'm fine with smells but that is disgusting. Just put them in a pullup while you eat out or sit them on the toilet..

Totally not you that is beyond rank

That is absolutely disgusting. I seriously cannot 'get' these entitled and ignorant people. Who actually thinks it's ok to do this??! Not quite the Same, but also vile- I knew of someone who used to hold their child over a drain in the middle of the street to go for a wee. Quite regularly.

YANBU at all OP.

Actually, I would have complained to the pub management. And expected them to come out and ask the parents to remove the child to the toilets.

See I'm glad to read that someone has actually communicated to the person next to them, in an adult manner.

That seems to be a rarity on MN lately, where it seems people can't have a civil word because 'they don't like confrontation'.

That is absolutely disgusting and I know I would be put off my meal. I don't see how anybody could begin to find this acceptable.

Nope that's disgusting. I've potty trained two and got one more to go and I've never even carried a potty around with me! Let alone get a child to poo next to people eating on purpose. Yuk!!

No, you weren't being unreasonable. They were being very inconsiderate. They should've taken the child and the potty to the loo to do the business. End of.

Are you fucking kidding me?????? Someone sat their kid down in a pub garden to DO A SHIT????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Absolutely repulsive. I'm glad you said something. What is wrong with people??

When did parents get so entitled about their kids. I'm sure it's a "thing" now that some parents think having kids gives them rights that take precedence over anyone in their vicinity. This kind of thing seems to be common now. I hate parents like this, the thing is though, if these ignorant sods were brought to task about it they. would be outraged and indignant that other people find letting their child shit near people trying to eat is totally unacceptable and disgusting.

My friend had a customer in her little shop whip out a potty for her kid to crap in. And got all indignant when my pal told her in no uncertain terms that she did not permit shitting on her shop floor.

Revolting. If the child needs a potty rather than the toilet then bring the potty into a toilet cubicle and have the child go there. I feel sorry for the child too.

Were there any smokers polluting the pub garden and spoiling everybody's time outside? If so, it's a good way to make a point, hats off to them

Seriously strange behaviour especially as the parents made him sit on the potty! I have seen parents do this in playgrounds etc, which is not as bad but still a bit uuuh!

Years ago I was in McDonald's in Hong Kong. It was very busy so a family sat down at the same table as me. I was already eating when they plonked their baby up on the table beside me and changed his shitty nappy ....bleurgh

I've seen people clean pooey nappies in a coffee shop and a pub

I can honestly say, while I was never a fan of either venue, it has massively put me off both

We can't know how often this happens and how often the staff turn a blind eye etc so now every time I sit a table I think of it.

I think it's the sort of thing the establishment should be chucking them out for, preferably chased by a hose. And they should have to pay for a clean. It's really disgusting where we've ended up because some people think child poo is sacred and germ free.

Bloody Vile, I would have said something too.