Pooing at the table in the pub garden

[Freetodowhatiwant]

This happened on the weekend but I’m still mulling it over and unsure whether IABU so thought I would open it to the MN jury.

On Sunday we were sitting in a nice pub garden, leafy London suburb, a pub known for its food. Seating is picnic benches, close together, on a patio area with large sun shades above. There is a more open, fake grass area where kids play/people lounge on deckchairs nearby but we weren’t in it.

Picnic benches were all full. We were there with an almost-5 year old and a 2 and a half year old.

At the picnic bench next to us were two couples with two children aged close to 3. The Dad whipped out a potty and asked the small boy if he needed a poo. Small boy sat down for quite a while, as potty training kids do, and after about 10/15 minutes did a massive stinky poo. At the table in the pub/restaurant garden right next to all the other customers.

When they whipped out the potty I couldn’t quite believe it going to happen – I hoped they were just trying to encourage him to sit on it – but when the wall of smell hit me I couldn’t help but say something. I said to DH (a bit too loudly so for that I might have been unreasonable) ‘Oh my god it stinks’ but in my defence I was just so surprised they let the child poo at the table where everyone sits and eats (note: we were still waiting for food, not yet eating). I then said to the parents something along the lines of I know what it’s like to potty train but, really, did you have to do this at the table/could you not have gone somewhere else? They said sorry, walked the potty through all the other customers inside to clean it out in the loo and that was that.

But – WIBU to say something to the parents? Is pooing at the table in a potty something acceptable and I am just a loser about it (admittedly I am really not great with poo smells - I would've hated it even if I was one of the people they walked passed inside carrying an open potty with a poo in it)? I understand, in a way, not wanting to go and stand in the toilets with the potty for ten or 15 mins but when I potty trained my eldest I think I would personally taken the child somewhere less occupied and somewhere where people are not eating and drinking! I realise accidents happen too but this was a deliberate getting the potty out and getting him to have a poo a the table situation.

YANBU, if they had time to ask him if he needed to go, they had time to walk him to the pub toilets. It's bad enough if you're in the park and it's an emergency but not around food when it clearly wasn't an emergency. The poor child is going to grow up thinking it's acceptable. Even in an emergency when we had to use the potty by the car we screened the kids off for privacy.

Someone should tell Kirstie Allsopp...

What they do in their own or grandparents house is up to them but out in public especially when other's are out for a meal / drink to enjoy themselves iit is disgusting and OTT. Parents could have used the public loo with their child

Omg YANBU. That's what the boot of the car is for, surely!

I've only got a 10mo so no experience of this yet but that is truly revolting. I wouldn't have said anything as I'd have been concerned I'd get shouted at so well done you for being brave.

Question for he potty training in my future- I assume in this situation most parents would have just taken child to the toilet and sat them on the big toilet for 15mins if that's what it takes? I can't imagine taking a potty with me to a pub? I've never seen anyone so this either. Or do you just avoid going places when potty training??!

Unacceptable.

sunsunsunlove

When they are little, I just sat mine on their potty in the grown up toilets. Some are fine to be held above a grown up toilets, but other kids really not happy so the potty solve this.
I had one who was really scared in public toilets with loud hand dryers, so we tried to find somewhere outside for the potty (not the pub garden I must add!)

when they are older and more comfortable, my potette can also be used as a seat, so they can go on the grown up toilets if they are clean enough.

the potty is in a bag like this, so it's not really noticeable:

I stood in McD toilets for ages when potty training waiting for something to happen. And that was McD's! Not much difference between that and the food!

This subject has been covered numerous times on MN and there will always be a minority of entitled hysterical parents who think this is completely reasonable and you are being TOTALLY anti-children and unreasonable by objecting. "HE/SHE IS ONLY A TODDLER, YOU KNOW!".

See also children scootering round restaurants/pubs/on trains, or playing portable games at full blast on a crowded commuter train.

People think it's ok because 'it's only a child'. Well this was what I was told by an entitled potty-trainer a couple of years ago in a pub garden. They let their 2/3 year old child poo in a potty about 8 feet from where we were sitting eating. I had my back to them so didn't actually realise what was going on,until I noticed a stench and commented to my friend 'What is that awful smell?' Which was when I got the 'it's only a child' comment. Twats.

Discussed also in March 2017

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2875761-to-be-shocked-by-what-i-saw

Wtf did I just read? Seriously? YANBU. I would of said something more than what you did. In fact when the potty came out (as it clearly wasn't an emergency) I probably would of said to them can't you take that somewhere appropriate?

Wow i would of said something

Yuck. They should have been chucked out of the pub by management. No-one wants to smell poo when they have gone out and spent good money on a meal. I don't have children but I can tolerate other people's up to a certain degree. Not this far though! The only thing I can compare it to is if I let my dog poo next to a table where people are eating. Which I would NEVER, NEVER do! Jesus!

I am shocked at how entitled some parents are. When I was potty training, I think I must have seen the inside of all the local public toilets. Yes, my DDs didn't like the hand dryers either (my DD1 has hearing aids which would have made it worse for her) but they do get used to it.

Disgusting, peeing in public is bad enough.. 😷

YA def NBU. That is DISGUSTING!!! Why would anyone think that is OK.

YANBU. Thoughtless, self absorbed people.

Ditto those who change nappies on pub floors.

Ridiculous, and gross. They should've taken him to the public toilets or to a quieter area if the toilets were too far away, but definitely away from an eating area. So unhygienic. It's totally different if they were in their own garden or friend's garden but this is just disgusting. Surely they know the times he might want to have a poo and therefore prepared to ask him to have a poo before they got to the table.

Yuck! Some people's sense of decency goes out the window when they have children I think ( having seen a nappy changed on the table in a coffee shop!!).

Agree with AnnabelC

MysteriousJackelope I had that too for my daughter, so right about how easy that was to use to keep clean and fold away after use. Also very good to keep your child from sitting directly onto a public toilet seat, mind you I did use to always wipe the public toilet seat with a disinfectant wipe before I set her foldable toilet seat down. Then wipe her seat again after using.
Was a great thing to have as much more compact than carrying a potty around when you always have 100s of other things too.

That is gross!! I'd have complained too, very loudly!
I knew someone who worked in B&Q. He was asked to clean up a turd left in display toilet one day.
He declined, as would I have in his shoes 😝