Pooing at the table in the pub garden

[Freetodowhatiwant]

This happened on the weekend but I’m still mulling it over and unsure whether IABU so thought I would open it to the MN jury.

On Sunday we were sitting in a nice pub garden, leafy London suburb, a pub known for its food. Seating is picnic benches, close together, on a patio area with large sun shades above. There is a more open, fake grass area where kids play/people lounge on deckchairs nearby but we weren’t in it.

Picnic benches were all full. We were there with an almost-5 year old and a 2 and a half year old.

At the picnic bench next to us were two couples with two children aged close to 3. The Dad whipped out a potty and asked the small boy if he needed a poo. Small boy sat down for quite a while, as potty training kids do, and after about 10/15 minutes did a massive stinky poo. At the table in the pub/restaurant garden right next to all the other customers.

When they whipped out the potty I couldn’t quite believe it going to happen – I hoped they were just trying to encourage him to sit on it – but when the wall of smell hit me I couldn’t help but say something. I said to DH (a bit too loudly so for that I might have been unreasonable) ‘Oh my god it stinks’ but in my defence I was just so surprised they let the child poo at the table where everyone sits and eats (note: we were still waiting for food, not yet eating). I then said to the parents something along the lines of I know what it’s like to potty train but, really, did you have to do this at the table/could you not have gone somewhere else? They said sorry, walked the potty through all the other customers inside to clean it out in the loo and that was that.

But – WIBU to say something to the parents? Is pooing at the table in a potty something acceptable and I am just a loser about it (admittedly I am really not great with poo smells - I would've hated it even if I was one of the people they walked passed inside carrying an open potty with a poo in it)? I understand, in a way, not wanting to go and stand in the toilets with the potty for ten or 15 mins but when I potty trained my eldest I think I would personally taken the child somewhere less occupied and somewhere where people are not eating and drinking! I realise accidents happen too but this was a deliberate getting the potty out and getting him to have a poo a the table situation.

Disgusting

Going against the grain.... YWBU to say it in front of a toilet training toddler who may now get anxious about using the potty.

But it is gross and I can see why you would want to raise it with the parents

Yup, people do this, and I can beat your story OP because I recently sat 2 tables away from the loo in a quiet cafe. Parents came in and sat at the table right beside the loo. As cafe was quiet the loo was empty (door ajar). It was RIGHT beside them. Dad asked child "do you need the toilet before we go?"

Then

Got out the potty, put it BESIDE the door to the loo (but still at the table/in main cafe) and popped the kid on it.

The kid could literally touch the door to the loo AND it was empty!

WTFINGF?

That's disgusting. What was stopping them going inside a toilet cubicle with the potty? And where people are sitting, let alone eating is inconsiderate. How rude.

That is hideous, who the fuck wants to poo in front of a garden full of people? Ugh, some people forget kids are actual people.

I was queuing at the checkout in Sainsbury's once when the customer in front of me whipped out a potty, placed it on the floor under the conveyor and sat her three year-old on it for a wee...

It's also undignified for the child. Going to the toilet is a private matter and children should be taught this

squizita I bought a folding, child sized, padded toilet seat to take out with my DC. It fitted over the regular toilet seats and prevented children falling in. It was easy to wipe over with a disinfecting wipe afterwards and no need to faff around with a potty. In fact we didn't use a potty at all as they went straight from diapers to using toilets.

No need for the 'idiot' comment.

In the midst of potty training mine now 😣 but would never do that! These experiences are all disgusting. No reason at all not to have taken the child to the toilet with potty if necessary.

WTAF?? Even if the parents were into such madness, take them far away from other people. Especially other people who are eating. Fuck's sake.

I trained my ankle biters on actual toilets.

Potty training is a waste of effort IMO. Utterly bonkers if you think about it.

My boy now aged 8 doesn't like hand dryers so when younger I would take him in disabled as not all disabilities are visible. He would scream and shake with fear

No, YANBU at all. That is disgraceful behaviour from them.

Was it the Herne Tavern. If so I am not suprised.

Though any tips from you knowledgeable lot? Been on the potty training threads which are pretty quiet.
How do you handle it when not near a loo and "I need a wee wee / poo" is uttered? I'm not talking taking her miles without a loo but there's a park a few mins (though maybe 10 toddler mins) walk from our house and no toilet nearer. Having this convo earlier DH thinks we leave her to soil herself! I don't but don't know the best way to avoid it either! Portable potty?
Images of pooing like a dog and clearing it in mind but not what I would have considered ok (despite revelations from 2 pps). Any guidance appreciated. Sorry to hijack the thread and please don't flame me for asking!

YANBU!!! That's awful. I'm a new parent and sometimes change my baby in his pram when we are out. When we've been in restaurants, I've always relocated to the toilets or outside to change him even if it's just wee and even though I'm sure most people wouldn't notice as it's in a bassinet. It's completely common courtesy!

and thy walked through the pub with it!

shold have told managment thats disgusting

Jenzi - we would have a go at having a wee before we left (doesn't always work :) ). We also used pull ups, but called them big girl pants so she was happy.
I also had the potette plus - it can be used with the sides out as a toilet seat (so the don't fall in or touch the toilet) or with the sides down as a potty. You get separate bags with an absorbant base that you then bin. It folds up quite small. I was lucky in that my daughter was quite good when training and would give me plenty of warning so we only ever got to use it as a toilet seat. She is now six leaves it to the last minute to tell us!
You can also get little pads called dry like me that can go inside normal pants. We used them for a short while if going on a journey or places where we may have to queue for toilets, but I wouldn't use them all the time.
The potty incident is discusting and I would never have got a potty out so publicly, out of respect both for others and the child.
My daughter often waits until we have ordered food to tell me she needs the toilet and we can sometimes be gone a while. If only my husband is sat at the table when they bring the meals at our local harvester they take the meals back to keep them warm.

Disgusting💩 poor you

My kids were potty training and we were out for dinner I'd take them to the toilet and let them sit on the potty in there. It's disguting for that to happen in the pub garden where people are eating.

YADNBU. We had a pottete thingy 13bloodyearsago that we could use as a toddler seat or potty thingy when we were toilet training DD. And she had an issue which meant she was on movicol (so the hair trigger warning mentioned by PP) and still never needed to resort to anything like that! Yes, DH and I sometimes did a mad dash to the nearest loo (making sure we had plenty of spares) but we would never have subjected anyone to something like that!

Ewww! That is gross.

I've whipped out the carrypotty when DS1/has told me he needs to go, in fields while walking the dog, where there were no public toilets around, or even in the park where the public toilets were enough of a walk that DS1 would have wet himself but not near anyone else and as discreetly as possible. I always take the potty to a public toilet if at all possible, which it should be at a place serving food. That's pretty grim.

Jenzi - I might get slammed for this, but dragging kiddo into the bushes with a carry potty and some wipes or bog roll is fine. The carry potty is a good bit of kit for potty training anyway, IMO. When you click it shut it seals in any odours and doesn't leak (even when DS2 lobs it around) so you can dispose of the contents once you're at a toilet. You also don't have to buy liners for it, so better for the environment and your wallet.

Massively entitled parenting. They need a good talking to.

Thanks for the replies talkingfrog and blurryface. Good usernames too! ☺