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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Council house

212 replies

Snoreborewhoreee · 17/07/2017 09:24

My situation currently is me, my partner and three children living with my mom in a 3 bed house, it is very cramped, and I feel awful for taking over my moms house.. I've been on the council housing list for a long time and unfortunately we just don't earn enough to private rent.. Basically my question is, two houses down a family have just moved out and I was wondering whether if/how I could go about asking the council if we could have it before they put it up for bidding? I'm not sure if this is a possible thing or if they will just tell me to get lost basically? Any advice or same situations would be appreciated?

OP posts:
stuntcamel · 17/07/2017 16:49

deliberately had three children they couldn't afford That's not the case, the OP says 2 & 3 were contraception failures.

Someone on this thread thinks that the OP and her dp have deliberately had three children specifically in order to get a council house?

Someone's been eating rolled-up copies of the DM.

MatildaTheCat · 17/07/2017 17:08

OP, I'm not sure if this is even possible but would your mum consider moving to a smaller property and allowing you to take over her tenancy? She must be paying the bedroom tax when she lives alone so would benefit in a way as well as helping you out.

In our area the bigger the property the more difficult it is to secure so she may be able to get a one bed far more easily than you'd get a three bed.

As I say, it may not even be a possibility but worth exploring?

x2boys · 17/07/2017 17:13

you cant just take over a tenancy they have strict rules i,m in a joint tenancy with dh if one of us were to die the other would inherit the tenancy as a sole tenant but usuall there is only one right of sucession.

x2boys · 17/07/2017 17:15

and you only pay bedroom tax if you get housing benefit if you pay the rent yourself it doesnt matter[in theory ] how many extra bedrooms you have.

Lj8893 · 17/07/2017 17:22

Has it been said that the ops mums house is council? Or are people just jumping to that conclusion? And why are people assuming the mum claims housing benefit?!

AwaywiththePixies27 · 17/07/2017 17:25

Has it been said that the ops mums house is council? Or are people just jumping to that conclusion?

The latter.

x2boys · 17/07/2017 17:32

because often people post on threads like this with no idea how the system works and assume that council houses are just for those on benefits Lj.

Lj8893 · 17/07/2017 17:33

I figured as much Hmm

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 17/07/2017 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sarahlaynee · 17/07/2017 17:54

I had an abusive ex but because there was no physical assault they didn't count my situation as high priority.

So I didn't explain that I hadn't experienced physical assault and the housing officer presumed I had and I was treated as if I had experienced physical harm. It was an absurd rule which I felt absolutely no guilt about bending.

Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.

We were homeless and needed a home and to get away. Unless you've lived my life you cannot judge. I think almost anyone would have done th same.

Emotional abuse should not count as less anyway.

Notevilstepmother · 17/07/2017 18:01

"Emotional abuse

Many women experience domestic violence without ever being physically abused. Sometimes they’re not sure if what is happening to them is domestic violence. They worry that no-one will take them seriously if they talk about it.

If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused. Emotional abuse is an attack on your personality rather than your body.

Emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse. It often leads to physical violence over time."

From Refuge website. Sounds like you did well to get out before it turned physical.

Original poster
Snoreborewhoreee · 17/07/2017 18:20

My mom owns her house, thanks for some of your suggestions everyone

OP posts:
DontDeserveIt · 17/07/2017 18:28

Worth asking.....2 houses on our road were vacated and let without going on the bidding system

rogueantimatter · 17/07/2017 18:33

But Sarah said " sometimes you have to play the system*

x2boys · 17/07/2017 18:40

actually thinking about it there used to be a 'homes available now section'when i was bidding they were hard to let houses but you didnt have to be registered to rent them.

Mummymummyme · 17/07/2017 18:42

@Sarahlaynee It doesn't matter, you still witheld information in order to portray the situation as something it wasn't. I agree emotional abuse can be as bad but for you to withold information to imply you were beaten is absolutely fucking disgraceful. There are women who are regularly beaten within an inch of their lives who can't get out and you think it's okay to lie?

Also I am skeptical of your second story seeing as in your first post you 'pretended' to be a victim of domestic abuse and when people call you out you say you 'were' a victim of abuse? Something doesn't ring true to me.

myrtleWilson · 17/07/2017 18:49

@sarahlaynee blimey- a social worker gaming the system? How ethical is that... @snoreborewhoreee - am not sure where in the country you are but some areas have been designated "low demand" - ie. not much interest in bidding for them so different allocation routes may apply. You may as well ring up the council and find out how they'll be allocating the property - whether on bidding or other options

Nancy91 · 17/07/2017 18:49

Hipster, I think the reason those things aren't happening is that she would like to keep some quality of life.

DontDeserveIt · 17/07/2017 19:01

I'm in a high demand area. The house across the road and the house next door to me were not in the bidding magazine and were let out. The council maintain ALL properties are let through the bidding scheme so it's very odd

Want2bSupermum · 17/07/2017 19:14

I help out with the management of the HA owned by my family. Basically the council allocate everything. A home might not show as available because they are housing someone whose safety is or was previously at risk such as domestic violence or ex gang members who need to keep a low profile. Everything is let through the counsel just that not everything available is shown (i.e. It comes available and you have a high risk family in mind and it goes straight to them without being listed as available on the central site).

Badcat666 · 17/07/2017 19:15

Sorry but you will just have to wait.

What is it with everyone thinking they need a 3 bedroom house if they have more than 2 kids? You don't! Kids can share and if they are different sex you can split a double room into 2 easily (my mum and dad did this for me and my brother) and have bunkbeds! They only have to sleep in a bedroom, not live in it.

Before I was born my mum had to live with her husband and 3 children in her mum and stepdads 2 up and 2 down house (which nan and grandad owned) for about 4 years before they were able to be allocated a council house.

Dad worked all the hours he could in a hard manual job and mum worked as a cleaner and went out cleaning when dad got home. (nan and grandad were disabled so mum helped look after them as well).

Nan and stepgrandad lived in the bottom rooms and my mum and family on the top floor (plus they were charged rent and food and bills by nan who was the tightest woman alive).

They had to do this as there were no private renters in the area where they lived, couldn't afford a deposit on a house and most private landlords would not accept families. (this was back in the 60s) and council housing was a 5year+ wait.

So think yourself bloody lucky you have a roof over your head and its a 3 bedroom house so there is plenty of room (1 bedroom for your mum and husband/ partner, 1 bedroom for you and your partner and 1 bedroom for the kids) and its only a 2 year wait.

Try sleeping 2 adults and 3 children in the same room and then you will have every right to complain about being cramped.

BitchQueen90 · 17/07/2017 19:26

OP would your mum not offer to be a guarantor for you?

I'm a single parent and I private rent, I'm working now but when I first moved in I was on income support and housing benefit. My mum acted as a guarantor for me. You would be likely entitled to some help with tax credits if your partner's wage is low.

FreudianSlurp · 17/07/2017 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Want2bSupermum · 17/07/2017 20:13

The only time the council don't allocate is if there is an illegal sublet. If anyone in RL suggests you do this I strongly advise against it. If you are found out the council will take action and you will be on the bottom on the list with no sympathy from anyone.

What we advise when people are seeking a bigger home due to having a baby or their children sharing a room are opposite sex and are too old to share, is that you call the housing officer and be very very nice but call every single day until your situation is dealt with. The squeeky wheel gets the oil.

You do need to be flexible though and I would suggest that you ask for a 3 bed but be clear that a 2bed will do while you wait for a 3bed to become available.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/07/2017 21:46

If your mum owns her house couldn't she be guarantee for you to get a deposit /private rent

How long have you lived with you mum and 3 kids

And yes accidents with contraception happen but if got preg with no 2 by accident surely you would be really careful after

But what is done is done

Agree if hubby works 40s could he get a weekeeb job or you get early morning cleaning /stack shelves at night etc to earn extra money to save for a deposit

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