Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Council house

212 replies

Snoreborewhoreee · 17/07/2017 09:24

My situation currently is me, my partner and three children living with my mom in a 3 bed house, it is very cramped, and I feel awful for taking over my moms house.. I've been on the council housing list for a long time and unfortunately we just don't earn enough to private rent.. Basically my question is, two houses down a family have just moved out and I was wondering whether if/how I could go about asking the council if we could have it before they put it up for bidding? I'm not sure if this is a possible thing or if they will just tell me to get lost basically? Any advice or same situations would be appreciated?

OP posts:
RortyCrankle · 17/07/2017 13:40

I could understand the OP's circumstances more had she been living elsewhere, met the DP, had three children, then for whatever reason had fallen on hard times and moved back to her mother's home. However that isn't the case, it appears that she has always lived in her DM's house.

So what possessed you, OP, to move in your DP who doesn't earn enough to pay rent and go on to have three children? I see two of your children are school age, so if you found a job, even part time, you would only have to pay childcare for one.

Original poster
Snoreborewhoreee · 17/07/2017 13:43

My partner works 40 hours a week, but we do have some debts and usually whatever we manage to save we end up using to get by, most private housing does not accept housing benefit also so it just isn't an option.. I know I haven't made the best life choices I fully understand that and I quite literally do hate myself for it, I'm not on here for any sympathy, I'm asking advice to get myself out of my mess as at the minute it feels like an impossible.. I have worked before but with childcare to pay for and little qualifications it does seem again like an impossible
The reason I asked the question is because I thought I had heard of it happening before but I certainly don't think I am entitled to anything just doing what I can to get by

OP posts:
bigsighall · 17/07/2017 13:43

If you aren't working, but are worried about child care costs could you work opposing shifts to your partner? He works during the day and you at night for example? Yes it won't be ideal but it will get you one step forward.

Original poster
Snoreborewhoreee · 17/07/2017 13:44

Also I was using contraception for no. 2 and 3

OP posts:
Whiterabbitears · 17/07/2017 13:48

OP please don't feel you have to justify yourself, there will always be people wanting to judge others, you don't have to explain your life choices on here. You asked a question it didn't warrant some of the nasty replies you've got.

Want2bSupermum · 17/07/2017 13:49

Also working 40 hours a week is the minimum IMO when you have DC and no home of your own. He could and should be looking for a second job and you should be looking too. Whoever gets hired first takes the job and you reschedule as appropriate.

DH and I both work FT and we both run businesses on the side plus we manage the rental unit below us. It's not cheap having 3DC. The light at the end of your tunnel is getting your own place.

You should def look at doing odd jobs and babysitting at weekends and during week day evenings. £20 here and there for odd jobs adds up and will give you a savings cushion.

Are you paying rent to your mother? I am trying to understand why you are not saving while living with her.

witsender · 17/07/2017 14:27

Agreed, if you cannot save while living with parents either you are paying too much (could you afford to rent elsewhere?) or not being very careful.

Polly2345 · 17/07/2017 14:33

In answer to your original question: I would ring the council and ask about the house near you. As some pp have said a local connection (e.g. you have family nearby) might add some points. If it doesn't then it hasn't hurt to ask.

LakieLady · 17/07/2017 14:45

Private renting isn't an option as even if I could save for the deposit, my partners wage requires a guarantor before anyone will give us a house, the rent for a three bedroom house in my area is £700 + which we just can't afford and the council say they can't tell us how much housing benefit we would get until we are in a house!

  1. The council may run, or be able to refer you to, a scheme that will lend you the deposit/rent in advance on an interest-free basis
  1. There are always agencies/landlords that will take people without a guarantor, but they take a lot of finding. You need to to treat it like job-hunting, in a way: dress smart, go round all the agencies, put on your best interview voice and sell yourself. Follow up every ad in your local paper/Gumtree, look in shop windows, tell everyone you know on FB that you are desperate to move: I've had clients find homes in the most unlikely way. Don't give up, you deffo won't find anywhere if you do that.
  1. Go to entitledto.co.uk or turn2us.org.uk to find out how much housing benefit you would get on a £700 pcm house.

In many areas, only families who are homeless or likely to become homeless get rehoused. As you're adequately housed, albeit short of one or two bedrooms, there will be loads of families who are higher priority than yours.

I know this sounds harsh, but this is the reality of 30+ years of under-investment in social housing and selling off council houses. For the vast majority of people, the private rented sector is their only realistic option.

WeAllHaveWings · 17/07/2017 15:09

Have you looked at the rental costs of a 2 bedroom flat? You could have the dc in the two bedrooms and you and dp on a sofa bed in the living room.

Not ideal, but you would be giving your mum her home back and be independent. I have friends who slept in the living room while their dc were young and said it was absolutely fine.

Opposite shifts are also a good idea to increase earnings, when ds was small I worked ft office hours and dh worked evenings and weekends to reduce our childcare requirements. Screwed up our social life, but there was no other way.

CecilyP · 17/07/2017 15:14

OP, please stop apologising, you have done nothing wrong. You have 3 lovely children and a good husband (albeit one that is not well paid). If it was easy to just earn more money, everyone would be doing it; there would be no-one on minimum wage or on zero hours contracts. You can afford those children but not pay £700 a month for private rent as well. In much of the world your housing situation would not be at all unusual with 3 (sometimes 4) generations living under one roof. In other parts of the UK you would have been housed long before now.

You have simply asked a question to which the answer is almost certainly, 'no', but that does not give people the right to scrutinise and comment on every aspect of your life. If it will make you feel better, one of my neighbours once applied for a council house (she already lived in a council flat nearby and wanted a transfer) not when the house was empty, but when she read the previous tenant's obituary in the local paper. While the answer was, 'no', you couldn't help but admire her cheek.

TreacleMineRoad · 17/07/2017 15:54

LakieLady makes good points.

What rent would you consider affordable? £500? £400? Whatever the amount, this should be being saved every month so you can get together a deposit/rent in advance. Or just to get used to the sort of budget you will need to live on.

I've been homeless more than once, as I have no children I was not even entitled to emergency housing (bed in hostel) and very nearly had to sleep rough. I lived in an area where landlords did not generally accept housing benefit, and rooms to rent were sought after (only thing I could afford). You have to look in shop windows, gumtree etc. Ask people. It's not easy - you must persevere. Saying you don't know the HB for your area seems to be giving up at the first hurdle - most councils have it on their website! I think they don't like to actually quote a figure because it depends on your exact circumstances and the exact rent, so they want all the forms in front of them to say anything.

The other thing I am wondering is about your partner. Just in case. Are they approaching finances sensibly?

HelenaDove · 17/07/2017 16:01

Autofillcontact Mon 17-Jul-17 09:48:08
Plenty of private landlords accept HB but mainly you can use it to pay housing associations

Yes thats what lots of people think. But there are changes afoot HAs are making changes to how they want paying.

HelenaDove · 17/07/2017 16:15

someone got stuck into me on that thread too OP Theres always one.

sevensisters7242 · 17/07/2017 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sarahlaynee · 17/07/2017 16:25

I said I was a victim of domestic violence inorder to get a council house. Was the only way I would have got one.

Only took 2 months and I got a lovely two bed place.

Sometimes you have to play the system.,

TheHiphopopotamus · 17/07/2017 16:27

I said I was a victim of domestic violence inorder to get a council house. Was the only way I would have got one.

That is disgusting.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 17/07/2017 16:36

I said I was a victim of domestic violence in order to get a council house. Was the only way I would have got one.

Bollocks did you. All without all the evidence from police involvement too I suspect? Because I bloody needed them as a DV Victim when I moved once. Hmm

MissDuke · 17/07/2017 16:38

Sarah you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. Disgusting behaviour.

Op I really think you need to find a way to fit in some work, even if it is delivering pizzas at night! This situation doesn't seem fair on your mum and you really need to find a way to get yourself sorted with housing. I suggest that you do this yourself without resorting to telling lies as above Hmm

GreenTulips · 17/07/2017 16:39

Why do people sympathise with those who don't help themselves

They are trying to help themselves!

I didn't plan 3 kids - we had twins - somepeople have tripletsnor quads - you have to deal with the situation you have now

Severn - you aren't debating - you are telling OP she should've kept her legs crossed and her full time working DP doesn't earn enough

That's not debate and it's not what Op is asking

HipsterHunter · 17/07/2017 16:39

@Sarahlaynee if you are for real I hope to god you get your comeuppance

That is a shitty thing to have done. Shitty action shitty person.

sevensisters7242 · 17/07/2017 16:39

Just remember karma is a bitch, Sarah.

mohuzivajehi · 17/07/2017 16:43

If your mum is a council tenant surely the best plan would be to covert that tenancy to a joint one, and then start applying for a 1-bed for her to move to. Obviously you are overcrowded now but a solution of moving you out to your own 3-bed place would result in overall underuse of council properties with your mum in a 3-bed house - I can't imagine that would look good for the council's statistics and I'm not surprised that they aren't doing that much to make it happen.

HipsterHunter · 17/07/2017 16:43

@Snoreborewhoreee

You need to increase your family's earning potential.

DP can work more than 40 hours a week. What about trying to pick up shifts at the weekend?

Why can't you work whilst DP is at home? Office cleaning is usually early mornings or evenings. Babysitting would even give you some income.

Why do you 'need' 3 beds? You would be fine in a 2 bed with you and DP in the lounge on a sofa bed.

Of course some private rentals accept HB, admittedly not all but you just have to actually try harder to find them.