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Thoughts on neighbours being aggressive

128 replies

fitzy73 · 16/07/2017 20:07

Just wanted some advice and feedback.

We have a football mad six year old boy, who regularly plays football out in our garden. He is not allowed to hit the ball deliberately off the fence on either side, but of course it happens from time to time.

Our neighbours on the right have started to get really shirty about this in the last few weeks. First it was comments over the wall, and then I got a knock on the door from the bloke asking me to stop DS hitting "his" fence. I politely told him that he doesn't do it deliberately, and if he caused any damages I would pay for it. He was rude and aggressive, but I have manners and was firm but basically told him to wind his neck in.

I was out this evening, and my son had a friend over, and while playing football they two were repeatedly shouted at. At that stage my wife asked next door what the problem was, and my wife plus next door had a massive barmy at the front of the house.

During this, the bloke threatened to "kick the sh*t" out my son if he kicked the ball against his fence again. They also accused us of being stuck up snobs with a spoilt child blah blah blah.

I suppose it's lucky I was out, as god only knows what I would have done. I'm not a violent person, but I'm not going to back down if someone threatens my son. He is only six and is playing football in his back garden - I can't see what is wrong with that! In the average half an hour he is out there the ball might hit off their fence two or three times.

They are horrible, horrible people who no one locally talks to (sods law we are beside them) but I loathe to move because I like where I live and all our other neighbors are lovely.

I'm considering reporting him to the police, but that may exaperate the situation. However, if he says something in front of me I will probably lose my temper ....

Any advice?

OP posts:
HotelEuphoria · 16/07/2017 21:05

Why not mention the extension and foam ball at first?

Nicknacky · 16/07/2017 21:06

So speak to him if those issues are having an effect. He can't do anything unless he knows and to be fair, he has brought it to your attention that he has an issue and you have ignored him.

And why would you offer to pay for damage if it is a foam ball and impossible to cause damage with it?!

Only1scoop · 16/07/2017 21:06

Foam ball my arse Grin

Iikkiilloo · 16/07/2017 21:08

Nieghbour sounds awful.

However, if your son is kicking a foam ball hard enough for a neighbour to hear it let alone be annoyed by it then he must be giving it a fair old whack Confused

How about putting up some cheap netting inside the fence and then you won't have to worry about this again. You can argue the rights or wrongs of whether kids should be allowed to much balls in gardens for as long as you like but I think it's better just to eliminate the problem. It might take a bit if effort but it's not a big job.

I'd hate kids to kick balls against my fence.

Thoughts on neighbours being aggressive
user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:08

For context, I should add that our lovely neighbours have been putting on a extension for the last 2 years (he's doing it himself). So we've had banging and clattering at all hours, including early on a Sunday at 7 am!

but were they banging a ball against your fence?

Sorry, but there is no comparison between the two situations. i don't know why you think there would be.

ConstanceCraving · 16/07/2017 21:09

With all the racket your neighbour makes I'm surprised he can hear a foam ball hitting his fence Grin

Moussemoose · 16/07/2017 21:12

Kids play football in gardens. Of course they do. My neighbours son plays basketball. It's a bit annoying but he is a child - good for him practicing a skill.

FanjoForTheMammaries · 16/07/2017 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Freddystarshamster · 16/07/2017 21:18

Fanjo- there's not even enough info to determine whether there's even an offence......

Freddystarshamster · 16/07/2017 21:18


fitzy73 · 16/07/2017 21:19

The ball is plastic coated foam. So yeah, I could get a proper foam one, but why should I inconvenience myself for them? Especially now? I feel like getting the hardest leather ball going and standing there for a few hours repeatedly kicking it against the fence!

To those of you who gave practical solutions, thanks. I think a net or some hedging is probably in order.

For those of you who think it's ok for a grown man to threaten a six year old, I despair of some folk.

OP posts:
ConstanceCraving · 16/07/2017 21:20

I guess there's more to this story Fanjo hence the reason the OP hasn't called the police over an adult man threatening his small child.

greendale17 · 16/07/2017 21:24

YANBU- I would report him to the police for threatening a SIX YEAR OLD

user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:25

no one is saying it is ok for an adult to threaten a child, but what you don't seem to be able to grasp is that it is also absolutely NOT ok for you to allow your child to be causing the nuisance in the first place.

Bunnyfuller · 16/07/2017 21:25

It's the noise, not the damage. Focusing on damage is just being bloody entitled and rude. Yes, he was also rude but it wasn't an actual threat, and you know that, you're just trying to 'win'.
Why people assume their children can behave as they like....what message are you sending your son?

He must be an awfully strong striker for you to think a foam ball would cause any damage, yet not make a sound.....

Freddystarshamster · 16/07/2017 21:26

YANBU- I would report him to the police for threatening a SIX YEAR OLD

And what offence do you believe has been committed since you feel the need to report? There's no where near enough information

Only1scoop · 16/07/2017 21:27

A 'coated' foam football. So a leather look football with foam inGrin

Troels · 16/07/2017 21:30

I'd suggest the tall netting idea, save yourself a fight with the neighbour. But who wants to put a bet on next door not liking the net as they would see it above the fence?

Peachy27 · 16/07/2017 21:31

For all those saying 'go to the park', not everyone has time to go to the park in between work, getting all the chores done, cooking fresh healthy dinner for kids and a toddler who actually doesn't want to stand around in a field. Sometimes kids just have to play in the garden and amuse themselves, three little bangs in half an hour a few times a week is not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things. the OP has already compromised using a foam ball and not letting the child deliberately kick of the fence, why does the neighbour get to have his own way completely??

Sunnydays365 · 16/07/2017 21:36

yadnbu. gardens are to play in. Why should you take him to the park? At 6 years old I'm sure he's not such a strong footballer that it would hit the fence that hard. smile and ignore!

user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:37

not everyone has time to go to the park that's fine, but the children have to play something else until their parents DO take them to the park. They don't have some sort of automatic right to kick a ball in inappropriate places.

SolomanDaisy · 16/07/2017 21:43

A garden isn't an inappropriate place to kick a ball.

Peachy27 · 16/07/2017 21:43

'They don't have some sort of automatic right to kick a ball in inappropriate places'

How is a garden inappropriate? It's all a matter of opinion isn't it. Some people love to hear children play, think it's great they are outside not glued to screens. I bet if you add it up the amount of time there is a sound of a banging ball in the OPs garden is well under a minute in any 24 hour period. That still leaves 23 hours and 59 minutes the neighbour gets his own way of having no banging....

user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:49

A garden isn't an inappropriate place to kick a ball.

it is a totally inappropriate place if bounded by a fence with neighbours.

It might be fine in some gardens. It clearly isn't the case here.

Mediumred · 16/07/2017 21:49

God, cannot believe these posters siding with a grown man threatening a wee six-year-old boy for playing in his own back garden for short periods a few times a week. Definitely don't think you are in the wrong, OP. What would he say if you challenged him about the noise from his extension/kids?

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